My auntie died on monday and my family are goin to see her in the chapel of rest, I can't bring myself to go, I don't want to remember her lying in a coffin I want to remember her how she is in my memory. Am I being unreasonable or is it normal, I just can't face it, it's hurting enough that she's gone.
2006-10-13 10:02:59 · 17 answers · asked by ball_cathie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, everyone grieves in different ways. This is just your way of handling the death of a very special person. My condolences to you and your family.
2006-10-13 10:06:46 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one wants to see a loved one lying in a coffin but as much as it hurts paying your respects doesnt have to be bad thing. So yes it is normal but your going to have to face it sooner or later that she is gone. The soul is gone but the memories dont fade. Try going its ok to cry and be angry that she is gone everyone there will be mourning over her loss.
2006-10-13 10:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is completely normal...to tell u the truth i would feel the same way...you dont wanna remember your auntie as a dead person in a coffin. so i guess you should tell your faily how you feel. Say it exactly the way you said it here. and dont forget its all normal
xxxxxx
good luck
and sorry about the death.
2006-10-13 10:09:59 · answer #3 · answered by nynana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with not seeing her in the coffin. The key is that your dealing with your loss in your way and it works for you. Some people need to see the person as dead in order to accept it.
2006-10-13 10:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds very reasonable and normal to me. It is important how you cope with the next few weeks in terms of how you grieve and then move on. The pain will go but as we know the memories will be there forever. Focus more on how you can perpetuate her memory. One way is to identify a skill or trait that you admired in her and take on that skill/trait as your own...
2006-10-13 11:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you not going. Just make sure that is what you really want. All that should matter with you is that you are dealing with your pain and loss. Just don't keep it all bottled up inside because that will hurt you in the long run.
2006-10-13 10:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost friends and family I went to the first one and I have regretted it for years. I have not gone to another because like you I want to remember them when they were alive I have never regretted this choice. It is not selfish and no one has ever thought that I didnt care. Sorry for your loss.
2006-10-13 10:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by saturn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not wrong to want to remember her the ways he was. Go to the chapel, you don't have to go and view the body. Be there for family support.
2006-10-13 10:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. You're not wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping good memories of you aunt in you..Maybe you could go to just the funeral and skip the wake?
2006-10-13 10:23:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For sure it is not wrong from your way of looking to life , but this does not mean for all , cos some of them well think that you do not care. So you can deal with yourself in thingies like this & SHE well remain in your memory the way you like to see her. I did the same with my grunddad
2006-10-14 09:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by waled almaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋