My Boyfriend and i have been dating/living together for 2 years now. The first year was fabulous, the last year has been quite rocky, breaking up twice and living apart for a little while each time. We broke up 4 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago he came back.
Now there's alot more to this story but i wont go into too many more details but in short, he offered to help w/rent, I said great, i asked him for a little help this morning and well, now he says he doesnt have it. How can i find out if the only reason he came back was because he needed a place to stay, with out him thinking that the only reason I wanted him back was for financial support?
2006-10-13 09:31:48 · 29 answers · asked by mslorikaraoke 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best you can do is tell him to find his own place and see if he can manage if he can't financially support himself and tries to come back with you then you know he's only leaning on you for financial support.
2006-10-13 09:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a job? Do you have any idea how much he makes?
I know, the love is great, but honey, living is more important!
If he now learns that he can always lean on you it will be like that until death does you apart...
You have to make an end to it!
Have seat with him, tell him that you can't support him and if he thinks to live with you he has to pay half of the bills...
And, where was he for two whole weeks? With another girl!?
Think twice if this is what you want!
Lazy, jobless man is a bad nightmare....
2006-10-13 16:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jax4all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The both of you need to sit down and have a long heart to heart talk about what is going on. Make sure that there is no pressure and no fussing. Try to set a time and plce where you can casually talk and see what is going on with him. I am sure that if you both get your issues out in the open it would be a better relationship. Even if he does admit to just wanting a place to live, at least you will know the truth at that point. I wish you all the luck
2006-10-13 16:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by soldierman69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him. I dated a guy for over 4yrs, and during that last year and a half I was paying for everything. Not to say that I didn't love him, but it was the ultimate reason for our break up. If you're going to be in a relationship with this guy, everything needs to be upfront--including financial matters. If both of you are honest with eachother you at least have a fighting chance of making things work.
2006-10-13 16:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by court 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem but I had to lay it on the line for him straight. This is what I said (plus I wasnt very nice about it and at the time i didnt care i would rather sound mean then realize I have been taken advantage of!) I said: Do you plan on living here? because if you do then you have to contribute, I refuse to have you here and not have any responsibilities! I dont need you I can take care of myself I was doing it before you and I can do it after you but it cost me more to take of two people than it does one so how about this you can stay here if you help and soon, but if you dont contribute by soon someone will have to contribute towards your uhaul with all your stuff! The main you have to make is "contribute" if you say help then its almost like you need him.
2006-10-13 16:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I am speaking from experience here, I was in the same situation a few years back. Kick him out...if he doesn't have the rent money now he will NEVER have the rent money. Especially, if you let this slide. Tell him to move back in with his parents or something and don't let the door hit you in the @ss on the way out. Seriously, tell him peace out and find someone that will respect and want you not NEED and disrepect you!
2006-10-13 16:36:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only right for him to contribute to the rent if he's going to be staying with you. He came back to you, right? So he can't possibly say that you wanted him for financial support, because when he left, you assumed you wouldn't be getting that from him any longer. He needs to know that you're not a meal ticket, honey. Stand up for yourself. If he really wants to be around, he'll keep his word to help pay the bills.
2006-10-13 16:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if its like "that" tell him that you just wanted to make sure that wasnt the case and just to make sure it isnt the case you will move back in with your mama if you have to.. you dont want to be together for commoditys... he can have the place if it comes down to that... not that your saying one has to leave but you have a place to go... obviously he doesnt... he should be high tailing to clear up any misconceptions... sometimes its better to just ask and not be sneaky :)
2006-10-13 16:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by chrystal_lynn2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is a lot of mistrust and ambivalence in your relationship. You should think about what you want. If he said he was going to pay 1/2 the rent hold him to it.
2006-10-13 16:35:22 · answer #9 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. If he broke up with you four weeks ago and game back broke just two weeks ago, he only did it for a place to stay. Do yourself a favor and dump him. You can do better.
2006-10-13 16:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by Writer of Truth 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋