Should I date?

Question

I often ruin my relationship with guys and I've been through a lot the thing is i ruin it by not knowning how to deal with something that goes wrong and i get emotional I get confused and get mad at the guy for nothing if they understand what I'm going through in life maybe it will be better but honestly i dont think guys know how to deal with my emotional side... i dont know if im really ready to date again (last bf emotionally abused me) since alot of guys treated me bad I lost trust in guys now but i try to find it cuz i want to trust again but when i try i fail and i end up hurting someone again when i dont mean too. Should I date or wait until I heal from a broken heart?

Answer 1

OK this is gonna sound dumb (maybe) but have you thought about internet dating?

yeah i know there are risks, and there are stigmas attached to it, but it works :) it worked for me and i am living with the man i met online 18 months ago.

The big thing with internet dating, and from my experience, the best way to make it succeed, is to really get to know the person before you even meet them. my partner and i were both carrying alot of baggage when we first met on www.okcupid.com (yeah it sounds cheesy but i'd recommend it). my partner was going through a divorce, i had a string of failed relationships behind me and wasnt really looking for anyone.

we spent a whole week talking online via msn messenger and yahoo messenger (that doesnt sound long i kow but i am talking at least 8 hours a day). we really got to know each other, discussed all our issues and talked about our fears and why our previous relationships had failed.

so a week later we had our first date and it was incredible. everything was perfect. 6 months later i moved in with him, and another year later everything is still fantastic, and i think it has worked so well because we really got to know each other before we even met.

please understand that this doesnt happen instantly. i had a couple of encounters with strange men on there (i didnt meet any of those!!!). i also went on a few dates with another guy but that didnt work out because we wanted different things. anyway if you decide to do this here are a few hints you might find helpful...

1) Dont give out any specific personal details until you are sure you are talking to someone you want to share these details with!!! sounds dumb, but when i was first internet dating i bought a cheap pay and go mobile and on the rare occassions i gave out my mobile, i gave this number. this meant that i wasnt at risk of people harrassing me if they turned out to be creepy or anything. you can do the same thing with an email address if you wanted.

2) Be wary. dont flood someone with information too soon, or find your self sounding desperate or pathetic.

3) be honest. if you tell someone you are a hot skinny blond with huge **** then really end up liking them, they are gonna be suprised when you meet and you are someone completely different!!!! i was worried about showing my now boyfriend a photo of my self as my self esteem was very low at the time, but he thought i was worth a date :)

4) if you decide to meet,then meet in a public place, preferablly in an area you know. make sure you can get home, dont get paraletic (there is nothing less sexy that someone vomitting behind the bins on the way home from a date.) and make sure SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE. ok might seem silly, but its always better to be safe.

ok i think thats it for now...if i can help in any other way let me know :)

Good Luck and NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. xxx

Answer 2

I just lost a gf who had an emotional side that was very hyperactive.

Best answer i can give is, YES, And just try to explain yourself logically and articulate what your emotions are to the person you are with.

When a woman is crying around me I stand there with a deer in the headlights kinda look, That often gets misconstrued for not caring, I care! I just dont know what the problem is!

Best you can always do from these situations is get back on your feet and try again, There is somebody compatible out there. If you get knocked down 10 times, You gotta stand up 11.

Answer 3

Maybe you should wait a while before you date again....
try focusing on something else, like hanging out with friends, or shopping. Maybe what you need is a hobby to occupy yourself.
Let the guy find you!

Answer 4

Look I don't think u should date right now. Why? Cause ur going through 2 much right now. So just leave it alone and be the single person u are girl. Cause these boys are not like they need to be

Answer 5

Wait until the right person comes around and see how u feel about dating then

Answer 6

try and become really good friends with boys, gain their trust, then go out in the world of dating again.

(hope this helps a little, cuz ima boy lol)

Answer 7

You need to wait, girl. You need to mend your wounds and then learn to love yourself, and have some self control before engaging in playing with other people's heart.

Answer 8

id wait hun if i was you until you feel confidently ready or it might spoil your chances of moving on succesfully trust me ive been there and still there emotonal damage really takes it out of you and takes a lot of time and comforting xx

Answer 9

If you stay at my house for 1 night, I wouldn't care if you got all emotional and left the next day!!!

Answer 10

i personally think you better take time off and relax for a while, and once you find you are relaxed and in your right mind, you'll be surprised to see you get what you really , really wanted in your palm. so, all you ought to do is keep a cool head.