so, i am single mother of 4 who just recently seperated with my man. It has been 7 months and I met someone. The only thing is that he is only in my city for school. After school he will be leaving. approx. 4 years Should I date him and deal with it when he leaves or just forget it? I am not young and I would like to finaly get it right the next time. I dont want to lose time dating him when i could be dating someone else that would turn into a more permanent relationship.
2006-10-13 09:16:30 · 12 answers · asked by spiseemami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you nuts? You have four children who depends on you! Why are you dating a student? You need to meet men who are working professionals that can provide for you and your children. Think about them first, not your own needs.
2006-10-13 09:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Natalia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. If you have any doubts about dating this young man, then don't. If he's only in town for school then it's more than likely that he'll be spending a lot of time on school work, may want to get a part time job and will be leaving town frequently to possibly visit friends and family. Then you have four kids, it doesn't sound like the two of you will have time to date each other.
Talk to him and see what he thinks, then go from there.
2006-10-13 16:21:40 · answer #2 · answered by geminig 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa there, Sister! Pull in the reins!
Divorce is like death and you have to give it time - most psychologists give 2 yrs as a general measure. Why expose your kids to a possible molester? Guys are drawn to women with kids sometimes with that in mind. They figure "well the kids aren't technically biologically mine, so therefore...." - get it?
Get done doing the RIGHT thing - the UNSELFISH thing and finish raising up your babies. So you're not any younger? So what?? Who IS? I always thought that 65 was the perfect age to get married in that the kids are raised - grandbabies on the way, you are done in the workforce, and money saved up is for retirement and enjoying life!
My grandfather was a widower from the time he was 68 until he remarried at 80 yrs old! He had a great marriage, and she was 13 yrs younger. He still outlived her by 2 yrs, too.
Life can begin at ANY age, but for now your kids are young and they won't be young again and dependent on you. Raise them first, then raise your skirt. Catch my drift.
You gave 'em life - do the right thing and see to it that they make it to adulthood as undamaged as possible - you've already put them thru a divorce - back off and take care of them - they didn't ask to be born, so put them FIRST.
2006-10-13 16:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still date him...4 years is a long time. Doesn't mean you have to date exclusively..you can date other men so you don't lose out on what can finally be "the one". Good luck!
2006-10-13 16:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you like the guy go for it its called dating for a reason if the two of you get serious the he just might stay or you can move with him if need be.four years is a long time wether ya dont think so or not.besides when you are dating where does the rules say you cant date more than one person.so go for it because you never know if you dont try
2006-10-13 16:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, " I dont want to lose time dating him when i could be dating someone else that would turn into a more permanent relationship."
Keep looking.
2006-10-13 16:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by clair_dlune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've just come out of a relationship. Give it some time and put your efforts in focusing on your children. They need you more than any man could.
2006-10-13 16:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask him if he thinks this is going long term. im sure he will tell you if your upfront and honest with him but don't scare him off, okay? like im really not sure that he wants to be an instant daddy to your 4 kids but then again you never know, some women have charm and guys don't care how many kids you have as long as they love him. just be up front with him. be like "hey yo, listen up, either you gon be with me and my kids or ya ain't, dont waste my time fool." and i quote.
2006-10-13 16:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Justina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You found a guy who likes you with 4 kids. Go for it!
2006-10-13 16:20:54 · answer #9 · answered by curious caucasian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. As long as you like him and he likes you and your four kids, then I guess you'll be fine.
I hope this advice helps!
2006-10-13 16:26:20 · answer #10 · answered by puppypal710 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋