Okay Me and my husband have been together for 5 years and married for 2 now. We are still very much in love and are expecting our first baby any day now. He just recently started a new job, closer to home (he is an engineer) and said the work is easier but a lot more of it. We just got news that the baby could be here anyday now instead of 3 weeks (because Im supposed to be 37 weeks). Since we got that news he seems to not want to be intimate with me. I mean he will tell me he loves me and gives hugs and kisses but no sex. I asked him about it and he said he has just not been in the mood, he is stressed at work and so on. But I also know he is a little scared about me going into labor. I know its not cheating because we are to close and I know he wouldnt do anything like that, I trust him more than anything. Do you think its just stress or is he not wanting to have sex because he's afraid he will make me go into labor? Has anyone else gone through this?
2006-10-13 08:52:05 · 29 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
i know I am probably just being emotional but its bothering me.
2006-10-13 08:52:25 · update #1
First of all, congratulations on your happy marriage and new baby. Second, this is totally normal. Your husband is a big sweetie who probably afraid to induce your labor or hurt you. I'm sure he thinks you're beautiful, he's just a little intimidated by the situation. I'm sure you are really emotional right now, but please know that your husband loves you and there's nothing wrong. God bless your family and best wishes on your delivery.
2006-10-13 08:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky. In my first pregnancy, the last time I had sex before giving birth was when I was 4 months pregnant. My husband had this fear (which is common) about hurting me and the baby. So, we went 9 months without sex for the first baby (didn't have sex until baby was 5 months old). For the second baby, which is 4 1/2 months old now, we still haven't had sex yet. He's not afraid this time. We just don't have the time. We know we need to make time, but it's hard when you are exhausted from playing with the kids and trying to get them to sleep so that you can PLAY!
Don't worry. Take a break.
You'll see what I mean after you deliver about how hard it is to find time for sex later.
2006-10-13 09:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably stressed by his new job and the fact that he is about to become a father. He also may think that having sex would hurt you or the baby, but you can tell him that it won't hurt the baby and if it hurts you he can stop. Also, if you want to go into labor a little sooner there is a chemical in his sperm that will actually help thin your membrane and could cause your water to break. Hang in there, and I know it's hard to not be emotional but things will get better.
2006-10-13 08:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it may be both. My husband was the same way with our second child since I had had the first one two months early. I ended up having sex with him and he broke my water. My son had to dtay in the hospital a week while he took antibiotics. I'm not tring to scare you, but sex can send you into labor. As a matter of fact, midwives sometimes urge women to have sex when they are due to have their baby but are not dialating. It is supposed to help the labor to progress. I was leaking fluid for 3 days after I had sex and did not know since the doctor broke my water with my first son. Stress can make you not want to have sex also because you have to much on your mind to think about sex and it can seem more like a chore than pleasure. I wouldn't worry about it. Men go through changes and mood swings just like women. Good Luck!
2006-10-13 09:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Cameron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of it's probably just emotional for you, but he's probably got some realistics fears and stress going on too. He just started a new job which changed his life. He's about to have a baby which is going to change his life in a major way. He knows from birthing classes (I hope!) that labor is going to cause you pain, and he probably doesn't want to be the cause of it ... even though it's going to happen when it happens. I wouldn't worry too much about it. In a very short while, you're going to be busy with the new baby and sex will be the furtherest thing from your mind. Concentrate on the loving aspects of your relationship, take care of yourself and your hubby, take care of baby, and everything should work out.
2006-10-13 08:56:50 · answer #5 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this same issue. I practice understanding and talked to him about it. Really just last night I talked to him about it. I am 22 weeks and having this issue. You know one of the things he pointed out to me is that I seem to require more attention than I have before. Like I need assurance that I still am attractive for him and that I try to turn him on more because im worried he will have a wondering eye. I told him maybe but truthfully I am in the mood! He did say he does have some concerns about the baby but enough to stop him from wanting to have sex. He promised that when he says he is tired he means it and when he is stressed that sex is far from his mind. He asked me to be more understanding because his thoughts are with being a loyal husband and a great father. He said he will work on it and asked me to work on being patient. This talked help me more than he even knew because he was honest and that sets me free of worry. Good luck and may your delivery be a safe one.
2006-10-13 09:14:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem with my wife. She started getting close to her due date and she wanted the Baby out (like one of the others stated above..lol). I was hesitant at first. Its just us guys being afraid of hurting the baby and we know how uncomfortable you are so we can't see how having sex would be enjoyable for you. He may think your just offering for his benefit. Tell him how you feel relationships are all about communication. Its weird to think about it but when your that far along in your pregnancy you look down at the belly and its no longer a belly its a home for a little person and you don't want to disturb that. Hes just probably a little nervous about the whole thing..Its your first..I remember how nervous I was I was more nervous then my wife I think..lol Hope this helps.
2006-10-13 09:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bucs_Fan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first my fiance was really freaked out about me wanting to have sex while i was pregnant. He kept asking me over and over "are you sure its okay? Are you sure the baby will be fine? Im not going to hurt you or the baby? You're sure?" constantly.
He is probably just concerned for your well being and the baby's. You should be glad that your husband cares for you two that much. You could assure him that everything will be fine with the baby and that it does not hurt him or you, and this might change things a little.
2006-10-13 08:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Barbi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh God yes. that happened with my first baby. but it all worked out fine.they don't want to hurt the baby. do what i did remind them that once you have the baby you won't be able to have sex for six weeks..that might get him into the mood real quick. and if he is worried about you going into labor tell him that when they determine how far along you are they can be two weeks off. so you could be at 39 weeks . lol goodluck and congrats on the baby. i just started the pregnancy i am just 6 weeks with my third child and i just can't wait to be as far along as you.
2006-10-13 08:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are weird. My husband acted a little strange about it, but i had to attck him at the end of my first (i needed her out). He could be going through both. Maybe the stress of the new job, and possible scared about the birth, he's a new daddy its a big ajustment and can be very scary for men. There is nothing weird about him not wanting to have sex at all. dont worry, as long as you are still getting hugs kisses and loves i wouldn't worry.
2006-10-13 08:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ash1227 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋