Why is it that I'm an A$$hole when I point out to my sister that she's too fat?

Question

I recently wrote a question regarding obesity and bladder control and most of the people on here gave me many helpful answers as to why she pees like every two hours (even when she's sleeping) but many of you ragged on me for "being a bully" and I was told to "stop picking on her!"
Likewise, I kind of find it funny that we're so tolerant of people that are overweight in this country who according to the American Medical Association are costing us in healthcare more than smokers and drinkers COMBINED!!!
I don't know if anybody is with me on this one, but I personally believe that having respect for your body also includes NOT EATING to the point of obesity! I'm not saying 10-15 extra pounds here and there! I'm saying to the point of where you're five foot four and wear a size 22!!
Same goes for you guys!!! Nobody wants to look a guy who has bigger boobs than I do!!
I don't think that pointing out obesity as a factor in health problems to a family member is that far off the mark!

If I was "intolerant" and "ignorant" as some of you have taken upon yourself to say to me, then I wouldn't be seen in public with her!

And yeah, fellas, I have tried to get her to join a weight loss plan with me, have dragged her to Yoga classes and have even gone as far as taking stuff out of the cart at the grocery store!

Not to mention the fact that I don't let her eat out of my refrigerator all night long!

She's fat cuz she eats more than my construction worker ex-husband and about as much as my 250 pound ex-boyfriend! Both of whom happen to have at least 6 to 8 inches on her!

I have tried everything! The only explanation I can come up with for her refusal to see her weight problem is what I call "fun house mirrors".

I truly don't think she has any idea of how large she is!

Likewise, for those of you who like to take the high road with me, SHE EVEN CALLS OTHER PEOPLE FAT!!!

Answer 1

I agree with you. You have a strong point. Problem is that food concerns like Mac and Burger King have restaurants at every corner of every street. Kids know the lyrics to the MacDonald's song and know Ronald McDonald as their personal friend. The quantities of food and soda supermarkets sell, incredible. A two liter bottle of Cola. Who needs a two liter bottle of Cola? The cereals which are sold with chocolate inside. Ignorant people who don't know any better, just eat and trust retail on what they are eating. It is a known fact that poor people in poor areas have less chance of buying healthy food because it simply is not available there. They would have to travel three miles to get to a decent supermarket to get decent food. That says enough. In the States it seems that either a person works out six times a week and watches out for calories like a mad man or woman or the other way around: they eat all you can eat and grow fat, already as a child. How about the middle road and do exercise half hour a day and watch a little what you eat. It's enough, no more, no less. It seems that prosperity and wealth lead to obesity because of lack of self discipline and what is not learnt by the parents cannot be taught to their kids and the problem gets worse and worse. Your sister needs the mirror but don't be too hard on her just the same. Always stay human and make your point gently. You are in her circle of trust and she is your sister: you could have been her, maybe you got lucky. Don't forget.

Answer 2

Okay. You meant no harm. Great. But there is a thin line between helpful advice and insulting. In our society today you want to be careful about how you approach someones weight. Telling someone that they are too fat can lead to self-hate, which can turn into self-destruction. i.e. eating disorders. Some people are depressed and find food as a comfort zone. Ask your sister if she wants to do a work out plan with you that way you guys can stay fit and healthy together. This way you are both encouraging and motivating her. You don't want her to feel bad about herself to the point where she might feel insecure. Although you mean well, approach her weight issue in a different way without the criticism. Imagine if so one said to you that they think you are too skinny and that you look sick? How would you feel? Empathy is a key factor when addressing someone with a personal issue.

P.S. usually people who tend to pick with others are insecure about themselves. She knows that she has a weight problem, so she picks on other people who have the same issue, but denying hers. Regardless she is your sister and you do not need to stoop to her level just because she calls other people names. We do not know how your sister feels behind close doors. She could be crying her eyes out every night because of what she sees in the mirror.

Answer 3

It's not easy, I have a sister who is 4'11 and is really heavy. When I was pregnant, people thought she was. She is a heavy smoker and does not take care of herself. I'm 5'2 and recently lost my baby weight, I lost 30 lbs in only 2 months. Now she claims we are finally the same size. I don't have a problem with my weight issues, but when I was pregnant she constantly called me fat and disgusting. I told her I was pregnant what was her excuse, and yet I was the one who was called a b*tch. I was repremanded for picking on her.
I don't have a problem with people being a bit heavy, I believe beauty cames in all sizes, but I am tired of low rise jeans and crop tops on girls who look llike they are walking around with an innertube permanently attached to their midsection. Have a bit of discresion, just because it "fits" doesn't mean you should wear it.
I would rather buy a larger size than look like a sausage. It is all about having things hang right.
But yes, obesity is a huge problem, I lost the weight fast, after I saw my parents and sister get diabetes.
I still want to be here when my son has kids.
your not mean, but use a bit of discretion in the words you chose when talking about it with family, and you will soon see, many others will agree with you.

Answer 4

I totally agree with you. America is the fattest country in the world. Now that can't be just a coincidence. America has bad eating problems and that's a fact. People are too lazy to do anything about it, and usually take the easy way out. I understand that there are certain diseases that can lead to obesity, but I find that a lot of people are using that as an excuse.

Answer 5

If you really care about your sister's health, why not tell her that instead of just being rude. Tell her that you love her and want her around for a long time. Check out the health problems that obesity causes and be supportive. Offer to help her lose weight. Be her walking buddy or join a gym together. If she just doesn't care about her weight, let it go before you ruin your relationship with her.

Answer 6

Sing it.

I don't believe in bullying larger people, but I do believe that we are far too tolerant. Why is it that we find it perfectly fine to eat yourself out of health but we have interventions for those who destroy their health by drugs or throwing up?

If the person is trying to lose weight (and making an actual effort), that's one thing. But to those who just threw it all to the wind, I worry about how soon their deaths will come. This isn't an issue of power, it's an issue of concern.

Answer 7

Wait, are you saying Americans are tolerant of fat people? Umm, do you actually live here. Fat is the one attribute that it is still acceptable to make fun of. Why are you an, in your own words, "A$$hole" in this case you asked...because you're intolerant and ignorant. Get off your high horse and start really looking at the world around you.

Answer 8

I think it depends on how you go about it and what your motives are. If you're trying to embarass or hurt somebody with it then you're the one who is off the mark but if your concern is genuine as to the person's health I think that a heart to heart talk concerning a loved one's weight is not out of bounds if they are approachable.

Answer 9

I agree but Id have a hard time calling my sister/friend fat. I have a friend,size 18 (on a "thin" day). She always complains and asks how uch I weigh,what size I wear. I told her how I lostthe weight but she'll complain while shoving a big mac in her mouth.

Answer 10

I can see why she would get upset. Do you think she doesn't know that she is overweight? Instead of "pointing it out" to her, why don't you make suggestions like walking with her, taking her out for a healthy lunch or dinner and just loving her the way she is.