I don't know how to casually mention to this guy that likes me (and I like him, too :) how nutty our friend is so he doesn't believe the horrible and untrue things she may have said about me to him. I know that she has a rep for doing this to all our friends, and she used to like him I guess...she knows how I feel about him, that we hooked up and that we have liked each other for a while...recently he's been really busy for work (he travels alot for his job) and we haven;t been able to hook up...she told me she saw him and he said he didn't want me to think he was blowing me off and wanted to see me again...but never called. I'm not sure if she's being a rat or what, but everyone tells me not to trust her. How do I casually bring this up in conversation without looking stupid to him...I like him and don't want her to ruin this cause some **** just went down and now we aren't speaking to each other..I know it seems childish and I wish it wasn't like this, but unfortunaltely it is. HELP!
2006-10-13 08:34:32 · 9 answers · asked by trickyandmysterious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he will see for himself. Let him get to know you for who you are and he will know she is lying
2006-10-13 08:37:23 · answer #1 · answered by sspinnj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to your problem is right at the beginning of your explanation. The guy likes you and you like him. Call him, meet him, talk to him, have coffee - in any way possible get some direct one-to-one communication and then tell him the truth. The truth is that (1) you like him, (2) you don't want it spoiled by any rumor or story he may have heard, (3) you know your mutual friend has told stories about others, (4) you know she has talked to him, and (5) you are ready to talk to him about ANYTHING he may have heard that is a concern to him. Be very, very direct and of course be absolutely honest. This is the conversation that will effect the rest of your relationship so don't say a single thing he may later find not to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Good luck.
2006-10-13 15:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by RangerEsq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How mature is this guy?
The old Will Rogers quote comes to mind... "Believe half of what you read and none of what you hear."
I wouldn't give that chick the time of day, much less worry about what she MIGHT tell him. Can he not discern reality for himself?
Obviously, you don't believe that he can. The way to bring it up is when he starts to question things. You say, "Well, where would you get an idea like that? I thought we were getting to know one fairly well."
Let your "friend" be a rat, pretty soon she'll be all alone with no one to trust her. If he is willing to listen to her and not find out the truth for himself. You don't need to waste your time with him.
Find a MAN who is not into playing games and listens to innuendo, speculation, and b.s.
Do not make any big deal about this friend either. It will only make you look immature and send a signal to him that you don't think he has a brain.
2006-10-13 15:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found that in all relationships that honesty is the best. If what you say is true and this girl does this to people then wouldn't he know that too. What is the worst that can happen. I'm sure that if you really like him and he you then you can give him a quick ring and just let him know your thinking of him and wanted to get together when he had time. Why beat around the bush and make yourself sick with needless worry. Face things head on so that you can be bold and face tougher things throughout your lifetime. Best wishes since I don't believe in luck
2006-10-13 15:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by iamgstewart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's important to you my dear then it should be important to him if he truly cares for you. Explain the situation and be sure to let him know it is a matter of deep concern to you. He must be made known that it is only because you value him and that regardless of your current dispute, if he ever did have feelings for you then the current disagreement should not mean a sudden end to those feelings. If his feelings for you have changed then he may be putting his pride ahead of you. Love ignores pride but not self esteem.
You must talk with him about her actions she could have malice in her heart and if so i pity her but if her motives are of good intent this is a matter you and your chosen one must settle on your own without outside interference. If he's worth the effort he will listen.
2006-10-13 18:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by sprydle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell the guy you have reason to believe your friend or ex friend may be spreading lies about you and tell him if he hears anything about you, then to come to you to find out if it's true or not. It shouldn't look stupid to him. just throw into the conversation a statement like " surely you know how females like to stab each other in the back" and I'm sure he will agree
2006-10-13 15:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by shooter77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is no Help. Everything start bad and already finish bad. Real good relationship never start from the bad off the beginning. Total no future and waist time to find way to fix it.
Forget it, drop it , move on.
2006-10-13 15:39:06 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you hook up this guy, if your friend was liking him first? I definitely wouldn't trust my friend at this point because she could be trying to sabotage your relationship with a guy that she use to like.
2006-10-13 15:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by 2Blessed2BStressed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say this "Have you ever meet anyone that tells other people trash about them?"..."becuase i was looking at my horascope on my cell and it said that one of my firends is talking trash about me to some of my friends and other people." "I know for a fact that is may be true cause she has lied to so many people before about some stuff she said aboout me." "has she said anyhting to you about me that sounds a little weird?"
2006-10-13 15:40:48 · answer #9 · answered by Aycilla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋