I had a baby with a guy thats 9 years younger than me, im 34, hes 24. We are no longer together because of his constant cheating, lies and he was hitting me during my pregnancy. I dont know what to do, he does love his daughter but still verbally abuses me all the time. He tells me things like he wishes I was dead, and he calls me every name in the book. THis is when i dont do something he wants. Other times he tells me that he's sorry for everything he's done and that he loves me. Im sick of this craziness he puts me through..PLEASE HELP
2006-10-13 07:51:49 · 30 answers · asked by suzyclough1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No! Not only should you NOT deal with him because of your mental health and safety that type of man would NOT help your daughter's well being either....
2006-10-13 07:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by Love always, Kortnei 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, putting up with this kind of treatment is setting a bad example for your daughter. Do you want her to grow up thinking this is normal?
Get someone to watch your baby for you, then meet him someplace neutral and public. Explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable and is a horrible example to your daughter, and that if he really loves her then he's going to have to be at least civil to you.
Studies have proven that a child of a single/divorced parent can grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults, but that both parents need to be involved and willing to work together for the best interests of the child. Constant sniping and verbal put-downs only make the child feel insecure because they're caught in the middle, so watch what you say and encourage him to do the same. If he can't stop abusing you, then tell him to take a hike, and get a restraining order if you have to! Better only one parent who is loving and has the child's best interests at heart than two parents who are in an abuser/abused relationship.
2006-10-13 08:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by triviatm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he's abusive then he should only be aloud supervision.
I know you said he Love's his daughter, but what if he was to turn on her. The way you talk about him, I would not let my daughter
see her dad. He would have to take me to court. If you have proof
of all of this ,then your case would win. Because of his behavior problem. You or any other girl does not have to take this kind of
abuse from anyone. The reason this happens is because you
kept for giving him and he took advantage of the situation, so not
he treats you like ****. That kind of abuse should of stopped along time ago. And sorry to say your daughter is right in the
middle. Let her see for herself, don't put him down, she already
seen, no need to refreshing her memory. Let her be the Judge.
2006-10-13 08:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I must ask you, was there any court-ordered visitation? If so, then you must let him see her! If not, then does he pay child support on a regular basis? Does he have any history of treating his daughter badly? Has he ever mis-treated you in front of her? And you didn't mention how old your daughter is now. Is she old enough to tell you, if he was to mis-treat her? When you take all of these things into consideration, only you can honestly decide whether or not he should be able to spend time with her. If you are only using this to get back at him, then you shouldn't.
2006-10-13 07:59:18 · answer #4 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl get a grip, If he truly wants to see his child, go to the court house and get it in writing , 1st I would start off with supervised visitation because of the abuse, if he agrees then he really do want to have a relationship with his child, if he does not you did your part and make sure he abides by the court order, this is a control type of individual, get away while you can. Handle everything through the court system, I have been there it's rough but hang in there, it will get better.
2006-10-13 07:59:04 · answer #5 · answered by lovenest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no- raising your daughter is difficult enough alone w/out the added stress of a very abusive person putting you down. He has no one else to blame but himself if he cannot see his daughter because of the way he acts. You are in no way obligated to subject yourself to his antics just to try to accomodate HIS needs- besides, how do you know that an abusive person like him wont mis-treat your child?
do what is comfortable & right & healthy for you & your daughter only- you are not responsible for anyone else's happiness-
forget about his "rights". YOU have the right to live a happy life w/out abuse. If he really wants to see his child, then he will get his act together- best of luck to you
2006-10-13 07:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him have supervised visits. Keep a record of every time he shows up, how long he stays and if he was on time. Also keep a record of when he was supposed to come and does not show up. That way if he ever tries to take you to court you will have proof of what kind of father he is. When I say supervised visits I mean with at least two other adults.
2006-10-13 07:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by BUPPY'S MEME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so hard story that u put urself on it, first u say that u younger than u about 9 years and he was 24, ok can't u understand that he just got attracted for u to got only ur body, men at his age are so hot and u must know that, but lets say what done is done and now we are in the problem, first can we say that he is the father and she is his daughter? did he come in when she got out to life? look now u are a singel mom, trust that tell me if u wanna go in a new life with a new man to marrid and continue with him ur rest life what shall u say to him, in my opnion told ur girl when she got up tht is the man that i slept with and got u from him and if u be a wife with another man that suppose to be her father, at last its ok let her see him but on the bases i told u about not to treart him as real father but who give u a sprem,
2006-10-13 08:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by chemistman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I believe that fathers should have full access to their kids, but this guy is dangerous. His abusive, violent nature means he's lost the right to be treated like a civilized person. If he came near my child, I would call the cops.
2006-10-13 07:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Gallifrey's Gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im thinking he should have a right to see his daughter regardless of whats went on between you two in the past. But maybe since theres a history of abuse you request to the courts that his visits be supervised.. that way you or a grandparent can be there.
2006-10-13 07:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by Christa Joy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So hard. I have gone through it too, but for the sake of your daughter you need to let her know her father. In the future she will be able to make up her mind on how he really is. You never want her to accuse you of keeping him from her. Girls tend to be very close to there fathers and and she may resent you.
Although if there is any domestic violence in front of her that may be time to seek a court date.
2006-10-13 08:53:00 · answer #11 · answered by lpdecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋