Is it just me or have basic manners gone out the window completely?

Question

I am just asking because I am not that old, 26, but it seems like basic manners have gone by the wayside. It used to be that when I passed someone walking or something I would shoot a hello and get one back. Also, people used to hold the door for you if you were behind them. Service people used to be friendlier etc. I could go on, but I was just wondering if others have noticed the same thing, or if I am off my rocker? Thanks!

Answer 1

Join the club! We've had many discussions on here about the absence of good manners these days, and many discussions about the possible cause(s) as well!

Personally I think it's a combination of bad/lazy parenting, overuse of the Internet/television/computer games (leading to isolation, reduced social connections), and people thinking it is old fashioned to be polite. It makes me very sad. How hard is it to hold a door for someone, or say hello? Everyone lives in their own little world, by themselves - have we lost the need for social discourse altogether? For shame!

Best Regards,
Holly

Answer 2

I completely agree with you! I had my hands full of groceries one day and the guy in front of me knew it, but just let the door close behind him anyways! When I say hello to people on the street, most look at me like I've grown a second head or something. There was even a time where telemarketers had manners. Now I'm starting to get calls at 10:00 at night, and when I mention the time to them they start yelling! It's like people have chosen to isolate themselves. What they don't realize is that the world would be a much more pleasant place if they took the time to show basic manners and courtesy to others.

Answer 3

No You are not off your rocker Kudos for a young woman like you to notice this. Society has gotten much ruder I also do not like it. It is better to hold a door open for someone than to let it slam in their face. I am one to hold the door say "hello" while passing never know could lead to a conversation and shows you have manners it is also the way my father brought me up. for example my last place I worked at if I see someone with a broken foot and on crutches I would hold all three security doors open for him walk to the elevator and hit the button going up to his office. gained a nice reputation for my manners. I would hold the door open for anyone behind me as well special circumstances apply when someone is hurt.

Answer 4

I agree with you and yes, I notice it every day. I am not that old either and it bothers me.
It all boils down to lack of respect. Nobody respects anything or anybody these days.Even a simple thank you is too much to ask .
My husband still opens or holds the door for ladies everywhere we go, because this is the way he was brought up, but most of the time, he never gets a thank you or even a glance for doing it and I find it very disturbing and unfair.
I think that people are too busy and think that saying thank you or please is a waste of time.

Answer 5

Yes you are right. I am 42 and have also noticed that people have just gotten plain out rude. Everyone is so caught up with them self these days .That basic manners have gone right out the door. And Kids have really gotten out of hand. talking back and calling Adults by their first names.I would have never done that when i was a child

Answer 6

I'm 27 and I totally agree with you. I don't care about going out in public much b/c of peoples attitudes and lack of manners. I was brought up to respect elders, say "thank you," yes ma'am," etc. And I will continue to do these things b/c I feel that it is right. People aren't being raised the way that they once were and it's a damn shame.

Answer 7

I think a lot of it has to do with speed, speed, speed--this society has become obsessed with getting things done fast. But if you go by the cheap-fast-good principle of customer service, if you get fast, you get cheap OR good, not both. Most people love cheap and seem to have settled for fast instead of good.

Like, get this: I heard that in some areas, drive-through windows at fast-food joints are staffed by, are you ready? *call centers.* For real. There aren't even people with headsets taking your order in the restaurant--they have people in call centers do it because it's cheaper and faster...do you see "good" in there? Me neither.

So you have these poor overworked, overstressed call center people trying to reach their call volume quotas, these crazy goals like trying to "resolve" 200 problems a day or some sh!t like that. It's unreal. They're just trying to get people off the phone and get to the next "customer", some faceless call identified by a string of about 20 numbers. Call centers actually have to tell people how to be "polite"--they have these stupid little scripts that you have to say exactly right or you get in trouble. If people weren't so stressed from handling all the calls, I'm sure they wouldn't have any problem being courteous--the call centers know they can't really do it, though, so they give them scripts to make it seem like they're helpful and genuinely concerned. The poor shmucks who really care get chewed up and spit out because they're never fast enough. Cheap, fast, good.

It all comes down to what you really want. As much as you can, buy local, don't eat fast food, and frequent businesses that really care about you. Used to be, consumers didn't have so many choices and everybody was nicer because stuff cost more (less competition, higher prices. Plus, people had less stuff, so they spent more percentage-wise when they actually bought something.) If you want good, support good.

Decide whether you want cheap or fast, since you won't get all three. I like cheap and good, myself--I don't care as much about getting something fast. But that's just me. You have to be a much more picky consumer, and as far as the average person--well, there's not much you can do about their behavior. Just try not to be stressed out and people will respond in a slightly more positive manner. Good luck changing the world!

Answer 8

Seems manners left when the Internet become mainstream, well, probably sooner than that.

To comment on somethings though, I am typically pretty shy, and someone saying Hello to me, especially a stranger is sorta off for me and I usually give a mumbled or quiet hello back though they may not hear it.

Also, I do hold the door for people behind me, and it gets annoying when nobody says thanks... but I still do it.

What gets under my collar is the kids in the grocery store, or any store for that matter, than run between me standing in line, bumping me and stepping on my feet and not saying excuse me, sorry or anything. And their parents stand less than 3 feet away watching it all and say nothing..... that's just... bad parenting.

Answer 9

No, you're not off your rocker. People are far ruder these days.
I don't know, how it came about. But i think the best thing we can do is be an example of courtesy to others maybe they will get the idea.

Answer 10

Martha, you are correct. Basic manners have gone by the wayside. It is important for parents to teach their children well.