my mom in law drives me nuts!!! right now my husband and I with our3 kids are staying with her, not by choice, she did this to us. we moved here(WA) from MT and we hate it here. my husband was offered a job that brought $50k a year i MT. when we told her about it she fliped out and said.. i don't know why the hell you would want to leave everyone here that loves you all so much, and told us that if we moved she would never get to be in our kids life. she said that its not places its people, she was very pist. we hate it over here. my hubby couldn't even tell her what he feels, i hate that!!!!!! i wish thathe would just tell her to shuv it! i could give her a piece of my mind, but then my husband probably wouldn't talk to me. i wish he would stand up to her! i'm sorry this is so long, but i hate life and i really hate her right now! what to do??????????????????
2006-10-13 07:03:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have you thought about how your husband would feel if it was your mom trying to keep family close? Maybe she could move to MT so she would be close to the grandkids and as she gets on in years she will have family close by that will make sure she is taken care of.
$50,000 might seem like a lot of money but money isn't everything. As much as I felt that my mother-in-law tried to tell me how to raise my children, and gave a lot of unsolicited advice, and drank herself silly, I wish she was still alive so that she could see what wonderful children we have.
2006-10-13 08:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch...not fun. She was the first woman in his life, and obviously still sees herself that way. Your husband, either through his own dependence or fear of upsetting her, has failed to establish boundaries. That has got to stop, ASAP.
But, yelling at him to get some "balls" or whatever, is not the correct way to go. It will only foster resentment and further frustration for you.
Your husband is a grown man with a family to provide for. Explain that you want your lives to be together as you both have dreamed...and that shacking up with your MIL is not what you had planned. Be honest about how it is making you feel and the strain it is putting on your marriage, but do it without badmouthing his family. That is completely the WRONG way to go.
I agree you need to get a place of your own. That will loosen her hold a bit because then it's your house and your rules. If you can convince him to move, attempt to. If his mother throws a fit, politely tell her that it is up to you and your husband, and she will still be loved by her grandchildren. She has no right to hold you hostage like she is.
2006-10-13 07:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to cowboy the f*ck up and handle his business. YOUR husband has his own family to think of and provide for. Its past time to cut the cord from his mammy and be the man he is suppose to be with a wife and 3 kids. YOUR mo in law only has the power because you two GAVE it to her. Take a hold and contol of your own family. If your husband isn't willing to - YOU need to make some decisions of your own. Did you marry a man, mouse, or mama' s boy?
2006-10-13 07:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is already breaking free of the hold his mom has on him. you just need to be supportive of him. don't say anything against his mom in front of him. just act all calm, friendly, smiling and listen to all his confessions. maybe because of all the distance between your husband and his mom and 12 yrs of marriage plus your love for him has finally cut the umbilical cord for this mama's boy. trust me, if he told you what his mom's been brain feeding him, he is pretty much out of her hold. congrats :) but don't use this thing the wrong way. i understand ur MIL has been mean but you should be the bigger person and realize that people get nastier with age and also lose their minds. every man breaks free of the hold their moms have on them sooner or later and i totally understand how painful it is for a wife when she finds out that her husband has been mean to her numerous times just to please his mom. in my case, my husband is under the hold of his elder brothers wife instead of his mom. its even worse.
2016-05-21 23:11:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously you have to get out.
Find an alternative place, and move as soon as possible.
You have your own life to live, and so does your husband.
If someone has a control-freak problem, then they are best avoided.
2006-10-13 07:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. this is a battle that is tricky. Its best to try and get along with her as long as you are there. Talk to your husbabd about your fututre and remind him that she loves the children and that she,ll come around if you do deside to move .Good luck.
2006-10-13 07:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO GET SOME BALLS.
TELL YOUR MIL THAT "A SON IS A SON UNTIL HE TAKES A WIFE, A DAUGHTER IS A DAUGHTER ALL OF HER LIFE".
MAKE YOUR OWN DESICIONS.
2006-10-13 07:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband are grown azz adults. Start acting like it! Its your lives not hers. Give me a break....
2006-10-13 07:20:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋