Like for example, husband says we've got to talk about money, then I feel I am desorganized and I am spending much money; if he says let's talk about anything then I feel my 'liberty' threatened and don't like it... But dont like neither to feel like that... Any suggestions?
2006-10-13 06:56:12 · 5 answers · asked by myself! 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You obviously have insufficient belief in yourself.
If your husband says 'let's talk about money' and you know that you are doing the best you can with the money, then there is no reason not to talk about it. Two heads are always better than one. By talking, you can discuss any difficulties you have, and quite possible find a solution.
If you believe that you are totally resposible for everything when you are in a partnership, then you must feel guilty whenever anything goes wrong. A partership is a joint thing, where everything should be discussed, to produce the most satisfactory solution for both parties.
2006-10-13 07:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel it's the way he is asking you? I know with my husband I finally had to explain to him that when he was asking me for an idea of where we are with with money that I don't keep a running tab in my head and I have to look at it online or in the checkbook. He really did not understand this and actually berated me for not being able to give him up to the minute info on our acct so I finally told him if he wanted it done exactly his way then he should do it himself, and that the bank records are open to the both of us so if he really wants know he can call.
2006-10-13 14:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by ts 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are taking information to heart, that means you instantly feel an emotion, it takes practice but you can take information to your head, and the way to do that is listen very carefully to what is being said, pause, think about it,and ask your self what is being said here, think about it again, and try to not become instantly on the defensive. If I were to say to you we need to talk about your wardrobe, if you follow my advice, you would think Oh she wants to know about my wardrobe, may be I can help. Not the instant thought , Whats wrong with my wardrobe? This way of taking in information does take practice and you need to follow the steps carefully, but it does work. All of the above can be summed up in a few words. "Do not take things personal" because it is not necessarily meant as personal. perhaps it is only information.
2006-10-13 14:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont take it personally - that is the bottom line.
Read this book "The four Agreements" is the best thing you do for yourself. Trust me.
You can read an excerpt online.
2006-10-13 15:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's face it, the guy doesn't compliment you on how well you run the house....he never tells you how clean the house looks, how greatful he is that you do the shopping and cooking....nope, none of that positive feedback, it's just nagging and control issues that you get from him, always prying into how you do things and wanting to check up on what you think.
why can't he just get on with his own life and leave you alone?
2006-10-13 14:06:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋