Love him or Leave him?

Question

I have a great boyfriend (dating 6 mos) who is sweet, sensitive and down-to-earth but he lacks a few things that have become hard to adjust to...
1.) he rarely makes romantic gestures...I've made him CD's w/music, given him gifts, etc. but he has never given me so much as a flower
2.) he doesn't call often but after I confronted him about this he has improved
he didn't have a girlfriend prior to me for three years and I think he has underdeveloped social/romantic muscle...
should I stay with him?
will is "boyfriend skills" improve?
what signs should I look for that he's a keeper?

Answer 1

first of all u hafta understand that romance doesn't come natural to most guys. and for the most part guys, in my opinion, just do romantic things to get the girl, not because it's THEIR way. that being said, u did say he has alot of good qualities. what u might wanna do is sit down and write down the 5 or so things u want most in a guy which are NOT negotiable. not in THIS guy, just a man in general. be realistic. don't say u want a guy whose model handsome when u look like rosie o'donnell, got it? once u have your list, see how your current guy measures up to it. remember nobody's perfect. so if he has the Majority of the qualities but is missing 1 or 2 u may have found the right guy who just needs a lil work. GOT IT??

Answer 2

I think some other people have pretty much answered this question but I might as well give some insight:
1. You might be trying TOO hard.
2. He may not know any better.
3. Dating takes time to develop the skills (someone already said this) Maybe you and he both need some more skills
4. Maybe HE isn't the one with the problem, maybe YOU are not sending him clear enough messages
5. Maybe he has found out that he doesn't want to be with you anymore, but it too chicken to break up with you. SOME guys are like that. They don't want to be the one to hurt the other person when they break up.

Answer 3

Everyone learns how to date from dating. All their skills are learned "on the job". And.. keep in mind.. just because you have dated someone over a time period doesn't make them your boyfriends - unless you have had a discussion that states that you two have decided to become monogamous with each other. If that conversation hasn't happened and he hasn't said "I want to go out with you and only you and nobody else but you" and you have said the same thing... note... talking around this doesn't apply the conversation has to be pretty much like I said or the conversation hasn't happened.

Anyway... it sounds like he is looking at this more as a casual thing and you are looking at it as a more serious thing.

Talk about it.. but my feeling is.. he is about done with this and is ready to move on.. and so are you... if you have to ask if you should stay or go.... you should always go.. because thats what your gut is telling you..

Answer 4

He can't read your mind. Tell him what you need. Guys are a different sort of mineral. They have different ideas of what constitutes an expression of love. To a guy, talking to you about cars (for example) is romantic 'cause he's sharing his passion with you. And just like you, he thinks that those things that meet his romantic needs will likewise meet yours.

Answer 5

No, his boyfriend skills will not improve. For proof, ask my wife. If you need the romance, look farther. But remember, romance is about like beauty--it's pretty thin. Life is full of tough decisions isn't it?

Answer 6

I feel you should really not pay attention too what he gives you but, to the way he is towards you and the time he spends with you if he makes lame exuses . If you are not happy then you should get out but, I would see in to what his intensions are and I would ask myself what is it that I want out of the relationship and what I'm getting out of it what my intensions are?

Answer 7

It's up to you, however if you don't talk to him seriously then you could lose the love of your life. So try first give it some time then if nothing changes find someone who deserves you, but do talk to him first. Make sure he understands it's important to you.

Answer 8

Yes, I do think that you must continue...Why to lose such a sweet bf. Just tell him about your expectations and then I am sure he'll improve.

Answer 9

Give it some more time and see what happens.Hes a keeper if you and him both have fun,he treats you right and hes respectful.

Answer 10

Honestly, go with your gut. If your gut is really saying that you are pretty ambivalent about this guy, move on so you can find someone you are crazy about!