I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago, because I got suspicious of a friendship he had with a coworker. However, we had to continue living together for about 2 1/2 weeks, before I was able to move out of our shared apartment. During that time, things between us seemed to get better - even started going back to "normal" between us. I even slept with him several times, because I felt like our relationship was really getting better. But I had already decided that I thought moving out would be the best thing to do, whether or not we got back together, so my moving plans remained.
However, about 5 days before I left, I accidentally came upon emails from him to the coworker I had been suspicious of, in which he had made plans to go visit her because he "missed her face and her beautiful hair and her arms around him". She wrote back about how she missed laying on his bare chest. The worst part was that the emails had been sent just prior to his coming up to bed one night -
2006-10-13 06:26:12 · 12 answers · asked by starlet_8 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and we had sex that very night.
My question is: I know I need to, and that I am, getting over him. I have moved out, and have asked him to stop calling me. But how to I put the vision of him and her together - who knows how many times, maybe even now - out of my mind. I feel like ****, and the thing is I know intellectually that I am attractive and smart. But I stumble over words and phrases, and I find myself always unsure of myself now. I am looking for good strategies for dealing with this. Thanks.
2006-10-13 06:28:40 · update #1
Oh, believe me, I confronted him. I sent reply emails to both him and her.
2006-10-13 06:34:17 · update #2
You are wise to move out. I think the best thing for you to do now is sit down and really think about what you want out of a relationship and what you are willing to give.
Before you enter into another relationship, I would suggest that you spend some time volunteering at a youth center or senior citizen center or get involved with something physically active like an aerobics class. Doing something that forces you to focus on other people and doing something that gets you physically active will help clear your head, and will help you feel better about yourself.
But the good thing that has come out of this is that you have now learned that you can trust your instincts.
2006-10-13 06:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by BarBQer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were unsure and had doubts then you wouldn't have told him to fry ice and get lost. Oh sure....you feel like a fool because he screwed you over. It happens. You thought that he had the same values and trust you had and it was a bad judgement call. mercifully not a fatal one and mercifuuly you aren't having his kid.
So you've made more progress than you see. You have the self confidence and spirit to move onward. You just can't see it from an outsider's view. In the meantime...screw him. Hope he's happy. Keep in mind one thing. It's his loss...not yours.
2006-10-13 13:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so now you've learned a good lesson about how some guys like to "double-dip;" he was having sex with you AND with his new girlfriend at the same time, so he was CHEATING ON BOTH OF YOU! Nic guy, eh? Anyway, you've learned a leeson, and now you can move on tothe life of respect you deserve!
2006-10-13 13:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
girl you need to confront him with this because he is saying you are just being a ***** and making these things up print these emails out confront him with it so he will know that he and his coworker is the reason you are moving and not just because you are jealouse and making up **** in your head . leave that idiot he is a dog and a cheater and he is the one that is wrong and he needs to know that he step out on you thats why you are walking out on him .
2006-10-13 13:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by mz.thang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just don't think about it...give the e-mails to him with a smile like it's not bothering u..hug him say bye you're gonna miss him and hope she makes him happy...he'll feel like a terd trust me......that is unless the other chick looks better than u...sorry it's the truth..thank u come again.
2006-10-13 13:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by NVR UNDRESTM8 KARMA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be strong girl.I have been there and I drank away my sorrow,but ended up hospitalized with alcohol poisoning from it.I wont go into detail,but things are much better now.
2006-10-13 13:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by gibbyguys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time. Right now you're a bit wounded and you need to heal and you will. You're single now, embrace and enjoy it. Take some "me" time. Your head will straighten itself out as time goes by and you'll be stronger for it.
2006-10-13 13:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by -J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave the cheating basterd alone, you deserve alot better babe. PS- YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL COLOR OF HAIR.
2006-10-13 13:29:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep moving out....you dumped him for a reason. you knew he was cheating on you and yet you slept with him anyway! that makes you a booty call. let it go....leave and never come back.
2006-10-13 13:30:52 · answer #9 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave the e-mails alone, stay away, go out and get liquored up and bang someone else.
2006-10-13 13:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋