Divorce for a Christian Woman?

Question

Is it sinful for a woman to divorce if,

1. Her husband left eighteen months ago (she thinks that he works down south under the table, but has not been able to find him);

2. He had lost his job (for reasons related to depression);

3. He left after the family lost their home and were faced with a mountain of debt ($170,000--not quite sure where all the debt came from, she found out about much of it after he left).

4. He never cheated.

5. He always treated the wife right;

6. He was a good father until he left;

6. Her lawyer has advised that she should divorce and file for bankruptcy if she is to support her children, restore her credit, and move on with her life (bank had seized her rent money and creditors telephone and threaten litigation and wage garnishment).

To those who advise a woman to follow apostle Paul's words and remain silent in the Church and to ask her husband if she has questions, this illustrates why some Christian women struggle with the verse.

I am sorry if my statement that he treated me right was confusing. I know he made bad choices. But in the day to day life of marriage, he was a good man and a good husband. I was raised in a very traditional church and my husband led our family. I stayed home and he went to work. But then he started staying at work very late. When he was home he would ignore us and focus on the computer. I feel a tremendous guild because I did not realize how much he had changed and the difficulties he was facing. I was very focused on my children as one was nursing and the other in pre-school. And in some ways, it may seem simple. He was bad because he left. But I feel I failed too as a wife. Now my lawyer has helped me write to the credit card companies, because I could not find all the records. And we will see where some of this debt came from. He made a good income but not so much that the debt we have is reasonable.

Answer 1

I'm a Christian and I think those are good reasons to divorce him because I think he already mentally and emotionally divorced you. You also first and foremost have a responsibility to your kids as a mother.

Answer 2

Any married adult can file a divorce action for no-fault reasons. Ergo, all 50 states now allow no-fault divorces. Why? Because people used to plot different ways to kill each other or harm each other; or drag cases through the court systems making it very expensive to get a divorce -- in order to extort a better marital settlement agreement. Nowadays, no fault works just fine. Answer: yes. Now if you want a religious divorce, well some Christian sects allow it, others don't. However, this IS a free country and churches do not own our bodies, our minds or our lives.

Answer 3

This is not grounds for Biblical divorce however there is help available. First if you have no choice you can still fill for bankruptcy. Also creditors are only allowed so much and you can find help with that. Also as a christian women you belong to a church and there is usually a lot of help there. Don't be afraid to make your needs known. And last but certainly not least as a Christian woman you are beloved of God. As your heavenly Father He has promised to care for you. Even in these trials we are taught in James to "count it all joy". These are the times when your faith is tested and found out to be a true faith (trust Gods ways even about divorce) or a false faith which seeks the help of mere man and ignores the ways of God. None of Gods children have ever found Him to fail them and none have looked back after difficult times and said they would rather have not trusted God. All stand amazed that though at the time they could not see it yet God brought them through and turned it to a blessing. Hang in there I know its tough. Seek first the Kingdom of God.

Answer 4

Society's view of divorce may change. God's word is constant. There is confusion among believers over what the Bible teaches about divorce. Many churches have lowered the standard. Unscriptural divorce is one of the great evils of our time. Churches today are as lax as the ancient Pharisees who allowed divorce for "every cause."

The New Testament law of divorce is strict. Jesus threw out all causes but fornication. Yes this means people will stay bound who are unhappily married. They covenanted before God to love each other until death, not until unhappiness.

Pray for guidance and God will help you.

Answer 5

Oh, the numbered "findings" make no sense at all. If he left, he didn't treat her right, he didn't get treatment for depression and that's not doing what he needs to do to take care of the family, and if he suffered from depression, he wasn't a good father.
To answer the original question, only God knows the answer. She'll certainly not be found by me to commit a sin by me if these circumstances as outlined are correct. The Bible tells us that we need to care for children and seems to me divorce is necessary to do to that properly.

Answer 6

I hope I can help some here. I would never recommend a divorce, but you need to pray about it. According to God's Word the Bible, divorce is a sin. For me, divorce is not an option. When you were married and vowed "till death do us part" that was a permanent vow and cannot be severed. Please rethink this! If your church won't already do this, then go to an fundamental Bible believing Christian church and speak to the Pastor. I think you could very possibly find financial help, if not emotional and spiritual help that way. Will be praying for you!

Answer 7

Divorce is a sin under any reason, but at the same time God is faithful and just to forgive. It's not like a person gets married to plan to divorce, just like a believer shouldn't plan to sin. It happens, but you repent and move on. They probably struggle with that verse because they don't have the proper understanding of what was going on at that time. He was specifically speaking to those women. they were to be silent if there was qualified man there to do the job and many times now, there aren't. You just have to use the senses God gave you.

Answer 8

Is divorce sin? yes. Does it happen and can God make good come from it, does God bless second marriages YES!!! but it would be the LORDs will that the deadbeat would come home and be a man. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and get on with your life. If you do divorce realize that it is because of the sins of a man and not the flaw of Gods law. I hate it that you have been abandoned... but if things were done godly I doubt that this question wold even be asked? You are not worthless because you are divorced... you are just a precious as ever but you have a valley to go through... I hope that there is love in your church family... we would love you in ours..

Answer 9

Paul was writing to a specific church at that point but if you have not heard from your husband in 18 month I think you have grounds for devise under desertion the question is can yo still marry while he is alive. he has deserted his family you do not know if he is alive or dead. I am sure you should be free of his debts and if the only way to do that is devorce go for it

Answer 10

you say he treated the wife right? Running up a mountain of debt is right? leaving it all on you is right?

Yes you can divorce. should you yes. is it a sin, yes, but all can be forgiven and God is swift and just to forgive.

Start over. Follow your lawyers advice and may God bless you.