i have 4 teenagers & a four year old i am a homemaker and totally stressed out. i feel like i have no control?

Question

my husband is working out of state so im doing this all by my self

Answer 1

I have three kids so I know where you are coming from. They are grown now and on their own but I can still remember all the times I got stressed out!! lol.. I was a single mom so believe me, my stress level was way up there. I worked, ran the kids too all the places they needed too be, cooked, cleaned, and etc...BUT.my kids and I had and still have a very close relationship so I could connect with them. Do your children help out around the house? If not, then It's time they learn. That will take some of the stress off of you ..Don't try too do everything yourself, ever!! Don't try too be the perfect Mom either, because that can raise your stress level too an all time high. There are no perfect Mom's, we all make mistakes. Most important, take time for yourself, even an hour a week, just for you, might make a world of difference. Talk too your husband also, tell him how you are feeling,.He won't know unless you tell him,. You know, being a homemaker is one of the greatest jobs in the world but It's also the most time consuming and stressful job also. It's a 24/7 Job. But has a lot of rewards !!
Take my advise, take a little time for just YOU..even if It's just a few minutes a day,this may be all you need too start feeling In control once again.

Answer 2

I'm guessing you feel like you have no control over the kids.
Start with discipline. Sit down and figure out what it is they are doing to bug you or aren't doing that they should. Then figure out some consequences for these actions and stick to it. Teenagers are really attached to friends, phones, cars and other social things. These work as great consequences. For instance, one doesn't clean her or his room, no phone or leaving the house until they do. Out after curfew; grounded.
For the 4 year old, same thing, except they tend to be more attached to toys and stuff. A 4 year old is perfectly capable of picking up toys. Mine were taught that if I had to pick up their toys, they didn't get it back for a while. If I had to pick it up 3 times, it was given to someone could use it.
Set up a chore chart with who has to do what for the week. Rotate which one has each responsibility. The only thing you shouldn't rotate is each kid has to keep his or her room clean, bed made and clothes put up.
It will take a couple of weeks of constant reminding and reinforceing before the kids get the idea that you're not playing around. Be consistent, don't back down and they'll start working out.
Take a night out for yourself occasionally. You have built in babysitters with teens in the house. One night a month, make the oldest babysit and you take a break. Go to a movie, get a facial, go for a walk, whatever. Make time for yourself.

Answer 3

Few parents of teenagers have any control at all. And four year olds can be a handful for anyone. You sound like you could use some adult support or just grown up time. Try joining an activity for yourself. Most book stores have book clubs that meet regularly, your local Y may have adult swims, or your religious center may have a parents club you can join. If all of that is out of reach for you, there is always on-line gaming to cleanse the pallet from the teens drama and the four year olds demands. Good Luck.

Answer 4

You are the main caregiver for these children. Take control! You are the parent- not them. Are your teenagers capable of doing housework? Give them some chores. Are they capable of babysitting the little one? Can the 4 year old clean up toys? You need to put your foot down, then put your feet up. Quit doing things for teens that they can do for themselvees. To every problem there is a solution. You know the problem. You are stressed. So do what you need to to relieve the stress.

Answer 5

i develop into 14 once I became Born back, 17 while i finished being one and later tried abunch of diverse religions. So I keep in mind what it develop into like at 14. It sucked. nicely it form of feels you're a Mormon or getting to know approximately Mormonism. Mormons don't have self assurance there's a hell, so which you have no longer something to tension approximately if so. somewhat, do only the terrific you may, do no longer waste your adolescents with guilt and stressing out over sins you probably did. only be chuffed, do no longer finally end up like me finding back wishing I did issues in yet differently.

Answer 6

I am a single mom of 2 teenage boys, and I get stressed out BIG TIME, too. Good to know that I am not alone! Anyway, I rely on God to give me my patience and strength. I still get stressed out, though, at times... I need to have more faith! Anyway, I am also seeing a couselor. I know it must be hard, for you, with the teens and the younger child, but in time, it will all smooth out, I believe. God Bless!

Answer 7

So sorry, I imagine that is hard.

First thing you do is set limitations and chores for your teenagers.

Second take a day to yourself... just to relax and regroup.

Third thing you can do is a reward program with the kids... if they do things without being told (help with supper) they can gain points these points can be used for "going to a movie" or whatever they desire within reason.

Answer 8

Sure you have controle.
Im one of 5 teenagers nad we have a little stupit dog^^.
My mum is alone our dad is away... she feel the same like you but I, my brother and my sisters know that she have everything under controle.

Answer 9

see if there are any mothers groups in you area, it may help just to talk to someone. I have a 4 yo too, that is enough to stress anyone

good luck

Answer 10

Pray to whomever you believe in