How can I get my boyfriend to understand that I want to make some of my own decisions when hunting? He wants us to hunt together but he won't let me learn by making my own mistakes. He sits up a lot taller than I do so his hunting spots are usually good for him to see and I can't see a thing. Also, I've seen places where the deer tracks are thick and he won't let me go there and won't give me an answer as to why either. I enjoy deer hunting and want to go but he takes a lot of the enjoyment out of it for me. What to do?
2006-10-13 05:30:09 · 16 answers · asked by motherclucker41 2 in Sports ➔ Outdoor Recreation ➔ Hunting
I am reminded of the line from the old Paul Newman movie where the prison guard says "What we have here is a failure to communicate." You need to talk to your boyfriend and explain to him you feelings about hunting with him. Tell him that he is ruining what promises to be a shared interest. Tell him exactly what you wrote in your question to Yahoo. Do not argue with him or be confrontational but tell him that he must let you go your own way sometimes when you are hunting. Tell him that you might not be as knowlegable as he when it comes to huning but you want a chance to try out some things on your own. Hunting is not a life or death thing and you will not starve if you don't get anything. Hunting is all about the experience. If you get something in th eprocess, so much the better but it is not essential so let you try it on your own once in a while. Ask him if he would be willing to compremise. You will hunt alone in the morning and then hunt with him in the evening. That way you can have both kinds of experiences and try things for yourself. If you get a deer when you are hunting alone, he will see that you are not totally helpless nor hopeless. If he is unwilling to make some compramises, it may indicate that he is afraid for you to succeed at a sport that he consideres to be predominantly a male sport. If he is that insecure about his hunting, then you may want to quit hunting with him and let him do it on his own because he will always ruin it for you until he comes to grips with his onw insecurities. If, on the other hand, he agrees to the compramise he may find that he has just found a wonderful hunting companion who can handle herself in the woods. I know that I'd love to have a wife who enjoyed hunting with me and I'd be thrilled if she could out do me once in a while. Of course, I'd like to beat her from time to time, too. If y'all are ever to have a good relationship, you MUST keep the lines of communication open and be willing to listen to each other. You may not always agree but you must be willing to hear each other's side and give it honest consideration. Now go and tell him how you feel and see if things can be worked out.
2006-10-13 11:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't going to answer this since I'm not a male hunter but as a female hunter I felt like I was being left out, much like you. How much experience you have as a hunter, which you should take into consideration, could be the reason your bf is being so insensitive. I've hunted for many years now and I still get turned around in the woods. Ask him if you can sit in his stand for a couple of days. Make him share it. Deer season isn't just one day.
Maybe he thinks you'll leave your scent where all the tracks are. But when the bucks are in deep rut, that won't matter since they only have their mind on one thing. My brother shot a 10 point who was on the trail of a doe. The deer had been shot twice before and it wasn't stopping him. Tell your bf that you want your own stand which is high enough for you to see from and next year have him help you cut a couple shoot lines. Study up on the art of hunting so when you talk to him he sees you as a equal, not as a inferior.
2006-10-13 23:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk with him BEFORE you get in the woods. Don't bring up the issue of "you are not always right", but just approach it that you want to sit on a stand by yourself this year. Tell him you think it would be fun to be alone in the woods...or whatever. If you see a heavily traveled deer run, sit in a blind or sit off that run. He is probably worried 'his girl' will bag the bigger deer. A good boyfriend should give you the first shot on any nice deer anyway.
2006-10-13 14:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by Troy K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Knock that boy off his high horse!!! The best approach is a direct approach when women talk to men. Ask him how he learned to hunt. Part of his answer will be trial and error gave him experience, this is when you ask if he still has room for suggestion and knowledge on hunting. He better say yes! When he does tell him your trial and error will help you learn as well he might pick up a few new ideas and if you do get lucky and are right and get a great trophy he will listen more. Or you can cut him off other fun activities if he doesn't give you your way now and then. If my wife did either one of these things espically the latter I would definately give her her way.
2006-10-13 15:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy W 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't mean to be condescending, but maybe instead of asking us, you should talk to him about it. I believe communication is very important in any relationship. Just tell him how you feel, especially the part about him taking your enjoyment out of hunting, but try to be tactful and don't hurt his feelings, he just wants to help you. Good Luck!
Be sure to remind him how lucky he is to have a significant other that will go hunting with him.
2006-10-14 02:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by B. Miller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all males are very controlling. even i am. the most common answer to your problem is he wants to show off and he wants to get the biggest buck so he can show off to his friends and to you. also maybe you should be stricter towards him. another thing is maybe dont go hunting and tell him why then maybe he can think about it then he would listen to you. It will be tuff to not go hunting but hang in there and it will pay off besides if he love you alot then he will listen to you the first time you dont go i hope i helped you, good luck
2006-10-13 12:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by Squeaker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need a new boyfriend. If he acts that way in hunting, then he'll act the same in other things, too. His picking out the spots that are best for him but not you is self-centered and inconsiderate. I think you need another hunting companion.
2006-10-13 12:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by yahoohoo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How long have you been hunting? What experience do you have? Have you passed a hunters safety course? Is the area safe? If you have the experience to go shopping by yourself, then go. If you have the experience to go hunting by yourself then go. Remember safety first! He's your boyfriend, not your damned owner. Tell him where to go hunt.
2006-10-13 14:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain to him you'll have better success if you spread out and have individual stands vs both of you in 1. You'll be able to build your's according your size, in the location you want and make your own decisions. Maybe he's just afraid of getting shown up by a female in a male dominated sport and he's not manly enough to cope with it. For me it's all about putting meat in the freezer, not who did it.
2006-10-13 12:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by luckycharm 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
go hunt by yourself, when he sees you bag a big buck he'll get the point. Actions speak louder than words. See "Tips and Tricks" section at website below.
2006-10-13 12:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by drcurtis777 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋