but you know you will never get the money back; they drink; and her b/f is a useless layabout who has not worked in three months.... but she has a little son to take care of?
2006-10-13 05:17:43 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes "helping" your family is not realy helping them. It's fine to go and pay their bills and buy groceries; if you know it will be short term...but if they realise that someone will pick up the tab; they'll just start hinting for more and more help. If your nephew is suffering; make a plan and remove him from their custody and take care of him yourself. Make sure they know they may visit him at any stage... but don't help financially; especially if alcohol or drugs are involved!
2006-10-13 22:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by yyy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your sister, you probably shouldn't loan or give her the money (never loan more than you can afford to give, by the way). She won't have the incentive to dump her b/f or get a job herself if you help support them. The child is another matter. If he isn't being well cared for, you could be sure he has ample food and clothing by spending the money on him. If he is in a home with drunken parents who neglect him, you could anonymously call a Child Welfare agency to have them check to be sure he isn't being neglected. Another thing you might do, if you have lots of extra money, is pay for daily child care for awhile for your little nephew, to give his mother a chance to get back on her feet and back to work herself, if she's willing. But don't enable this couple to free-load and never work or take responsibility for their actions.
2006-10-13 06:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats your sister, help her and your nephew. You might not get the money back, but trust me you will get your blessings. Now if you dont want to give her cash, then if she needs her light bill paid, you go and pay it yourself. Or if she needs some grocies, then take her to pick out what she needs and you just take care the bill. If your nephew needs something, then go buy it for him. I commend you on being a good sibling, you get two thumbs up from me.
2006-10-13 05:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough decision to make. The best way is to help your sibling out but make it clear that you are only helping them for the sake of her son and not because of your relationship with her. Tell her that she should start straightening out her life and give her an ultimatum that she should do it or else not to bother you for help.
Instead of giving her money, try buying the stuff that her son needs. that way, you are sure that they are using the money for the things they need and not for drinking.
2006-10-13 05:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help by buying food and clothes for the child - but don't give them any money directly if its going to get swilled. Maybe have the mother and child at you house often for meals and time in a stable environment. Sound like she needs to get out of a bad situation, and find a partner instead of a "pickled" couch potato....
2006-10-13 05:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NOT give her money directly -- but I WOULD use the money to purchase clothes, shoes, school supplies, whatever and give that stuff to the little boy instead. Otherwise, if you give them money -- then I can assure you (especially since I have experience with an ex-spouse who is a DEADBEAT DAD) -- that the money will NOT go towards the benefit of the child -- but into the Addictions instead.
2006-10-13 05:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help them some other way. Watch the kid so she can get things done, a job etc. Do things with her so you help indirectly. Help the kid out by taking him for the afternoonor something. Ask your sister is she wants her son to be a bum when he grows up? If not then why is she dating one and showing that to her son now. Do not give them money.
2006-10-13 05:20:40 · answer #7 · answered by BDP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, if your going to help, help by lets say buying her grocery's or paying a bill.... but!!! don't just hand her money that she could spend on things that aren't really needed, or that her boyfriend can take to buy himself things. Make the money only available for necessities.
2006-10-13 05:21:58 · answer #8 · answered by L B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pay for whatever it is the son needs directly. Got to the store and buy it yourself. Don't give her the money directly, because chances are if you do, it will never benefit the kid.
2006-10-13 05:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by Bri Liz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they need the money and you are able to give it, give it but make sure it is spent on the right things.
Or if it is bills, have them send them to you and you pay them that way you will know where the money is going.
I always help my little sister out.
2006-10-13 05:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋