I love my girlfriend - I am 23 and she is 27 and she is talking about settling down. She has already had the "wild time" in her life and I have only been with 4 girls including her. If I settle down I feel like I am missing out on something that she got to experience. What should I do? I guess I'm a little bitter that she slept with a lot of people and I haven't. Should I break up with her for awhile and get this out of my system (safe sex of course) and then get back with her when I am ready to settle down? I understand that if she is with someone else when I am done I will lose her.
2006-10-13 04:55:39 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is something you have to decide for yourself. I doubt she will take you back if you want a break just to screw around, whether she finds a new man or not. You have to decide what is more important to you, and then make your decision. Do you want to spend your life with her? Or would you rather be single and free and have to start from scratch again in finding love?
Personally, I think that you aren't ready for the commitment she wants. If you were, you wouldn't feel so cheated that you haven't been with more women. The number doesn't matter, whether it's 4 or 40; it's all about how you feel. And from your question, you feel that you aren't ready to spend the rest of your life with the same woman.
Talk to her about how you feel. Let her know that you love her, but you want more time before you make it permanent. It won't be pretty, but you need to be honest with each other. It's not fair to either of you to continue a relationship under false pretenses, i.e. you trying to act like nothing is bothering you when something is. After talking to her, see how she feels. She may agree to what you want, or she may decide that you aren't worth her time anymore. Either way, you have to be fair and honest with her. If you don't, then all you will do is feel even more resentful. And in another 5 or 10 years, you may decide you want to cheat or get a divorce because of how unfulfilled you feel.
2006-10-13 05:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 as well and am recently seperated. I don't think you're a bad person for having those thoughts..i mean..ur a man that has needs and fantasies etc.. Instead of trying to test the water with other women, why not have your experiences with your girlfriend. Express to hear different things you're interested in doing sexually. Don't you think it would be more enjoyable with her than with some random girl.
If she is ready to settle down and your not, then thats another issue that should have nothing to do with sex.
We are young! That's what i had to tell myself when I made the decision to leave my husband. I was having doubts and I knew no one elses opinion really mattered, I was just waiting to hear someone say what I couldn't. I don't want him anymore. It was hard to grasp that this man I once found to be the most attractive man in the world, was someone I woke up hoping I would find attractive.
You're going to have to do what you think is right!
2006-10-13 05:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by michellewho11582 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have answered your own question!! You have a right to experience sex..single safe sex. and you sound like you need to get it out of your system..some people never get it out of there system so you should break up with your girlfriend and fill your oats..(so to speak)..let her go gently, shes a big girl , she can handle it. Don't count on her being there when or if you decide to settle down again because it just don't happen that way..good luck
2006-10-13 05:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by tazzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya brother. I mean u have been with 4 girls that aint to shabey. Im 20 and have a a girlfriend for 3 years. She has had 1 before me and as for me she was my first. I have cheated to see what else there was. But i will most likely break up with her and see different women and then try to get back with her. I kno its risky and not right but i got to do it for me so when i do get married i dont cheat on her. But i dont want u to tell u what u should do.
2006-10-13 05:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about your priorities and what is more important to you.
Are you willing to risk losing her so that you can try sex out with other women?
I understand you've only been with 4 other woman but think about those that save themselves for marriage. Those people actually do exist, it can be done, so is it worth leaving her to get some from even more people?
Only you can decide what you want but if she's an essential part of your life, you'll choose her.
2006-10-13 04:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously aren't that into her. If she's a great GF and you love her you would have this urge to go "sow your wild oats". It's a scary world out there and you may think you are having "safe sex" but you just never know.
If you want to do this then be honest with her so she can go find a real man who really does love her.
2006-10-13 05:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sydney'sMommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and her obviously are not on the same page, soo I suggest you tell her how you feel since you're not ready to settle down yet because if you saty you'll only end up cheating. Losing her is the risk you're going to have to take but then again you'll be happier! Good luck...
2006-10-13 04:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No 27 year old woman is going to sit around waiting while her boyfriend goes on a humpfest. So if what you really really want is to have some crazy sex, either have crazy sex with your girlfriend or end it and have crazy sex with lots of people.
You will lose her if you do that, just a warning.
2006-10-13 05:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Morley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her-and find yourself-you are obviously at different points in your lives,even if she's single when you are done roaming why would she want to reconnect with a guy that needed all of those experiences while she waited and wondered.And if you stay,you may always wonder and have problems being faithful.You both deserve partners with more in common/similar histories.Best of Luck
2006-10-13 05:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't done partying then you need to let her off the hook and go out and enjoy yourself till you get it out of your system. If she isn't around once your done then that is the chance you will have to take. Besides you might run into someone along the way that wont make you feel like your missing out on something
2006-10-13 04:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋