My GF drinks every once in a while, nothing bad. In fact she probably gets drunk like 5 times in a year. But for some reason I can't stand it! It makes me sad and depressed when I think of her drinking. I've never been drunk and I honestly don't think I'll ever be. I love her so much and this is causing problems between us. She sees it as a lack of trust, and get a feeling of treason when she drinks. I sometimes feel that I have to be a little more accepting of what she likes but at the same time, if it affects me so much, I feel that I should not settle. But I don't want to lose her, I love her so much. She's going to Florida with family next week and she told me she'll drink there, and after she told me I've been sad and sick to my stomach. Why do I take this so hard? Can anyone give me some advice?
2006-10-13 04:38:49 · 27 answers · asked by yayi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Seems like there is more than meets the eye going on with you. Your concern demonstrates both love and fear. The love is understandable, but you must fear for her or for yourself, too.
Sounds like you need to talk to her about your concern. This will help demonstrate your love and she can address your fear (if you're able to talk to her about it).
If you can't get over this little hurdle, marriage is miles away. Marriage requires commitment, or else, why bother?
2006-10-13 04:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Favoured 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is an extremely petty thing to get so upset about-- as long as your girlfriend isn't doing anything wrong when she IS drunk, I don't see why it's hurting you so bad. Now, if you have some issues, like for instance: if a parent were an alcoholic or something... that would be understandable and she would need to be understanding about your feelings about alcohol. Maybe you have some control issues. Maybe you're insecure. Either way, I don't see how this is her problem.... She isn't doing anything wrong-- maybe you should just lighten up a little bit. She's not asking you to do it and only drinking a few times a year is NOT a big deal. I think this is some kind of personal issue so I'm not going to give advice for how I think you can get her to stop.
2006-10-13 11:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by ~*TiNa*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will be a problem for the relationship to continue. You know, you may love a lot about this girl, but the two of you seem to have unresolvable differences. I think you would be much more happy out of this relationship.
You should not compromise your principals. Say you get married, she drinks champagne at the reception, lousy wedding night. Then she becomes pregnant and has a drink now and then while pregnant. It may do no harm except to how you feel. Not a good place to be. Find a girlfriend who feels the same as you. These things are important and can really mess up your relationship.
God Bless
2006-10-13 11:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by June smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you love her, if there is something about her that upsets you that badly, you need to move on. Would you want to end up marrying someone with that behavior? No. Trust me. This isn't a stumbling block for you, it's a whole freakin' wall! Would you rather be with someone who doesn't drink? Then that's what you need to do.
It may hurt now if you break up with her, but when you find a girl that is more like you, has the same belief system, values, etc., it will be worth it, and you will be much more content and less stressed.
Good luck to ya.
2006-10-13 15:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by class act 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the best way for you to deal is to not be near her when she drinks. It doesn't sound as if she has a drinking problem, so you may want to compromise. If she is away with family or somewhere without you, don't stress it, she is a big girl and you need to trust her. She needs to respect your feelings at the same time and not drink when you are present. There really is no reason for you to get sick to your somach at the thought of her drinking on vacation, it is perfectly acceptable and normal for some people. Let your GF be who she is and ask her to respect who you are and keep distance 5xs a year. There are bigger things in life to worry about and as long as she is reponsible (not driving or acting a huge fool) she should be able to socially drink on occasion. If you truly cannot handle that it may be time to move on, but it doesn't seem to me as something to ruin a relationship over. I am diabetic and don't drink at all, however, my fiance has occasional beers with his friends and comes home drunk a couple of times a year (after a golf outing with is old buddies or a wedding) It isn't my favorite way of seeing him, but it isn't the end of the world either. We are happy in our life and a few bumps in the road are to be expected.
2006-10-13 11:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My best friends g/f gets drunk so easily and then procedes to speak her mind which isnt a good idea, she also loses all control of her legs and regularly has a boob falling out of her dress ( nice boob though ) It does get a bit embarasing. Anyway my best friend has some very strong words with her about the way she behaves when drunk as we all normally get a ( i'm sorry email the next day ). Just keep her away from the booze.
2006-10-13 11:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel that she might be taken advantage of when she's drunk? Is it a trust issue?
Getting drunk 5 times a year is not cause for concern. If she is willing to quit drinking for you, great. If not, I don't think you have a right to be upset with her. I'm assuming she's a grown woman. As long as she's being faithful and honest with you, count yourself lucky.
2006-10-13 11:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Dasher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is the basis to a relationship. If she only drinks once in a whyle then I don't think that you are worried about the drinking. It sounds like it goes deeper then that. You need to think about what it really is that you don't like. dose she do something that you don't like when she is drinking. Or has she ever cheated on you. that could be the problem. If she has never done anything wrong then there really is no need for suspicion. If its just that you don't like being around alchol then don't go around when she is drinking.
2006-10-13 11:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by hailey80223 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your problem? If she only get drunks 5 times a year and she takes caution- like having a friend drive or stay at someone house- then what's the big deal.
You sound like a control freak......
You must be really young??
If it was every week OK, but 5 times a year..... get over it.
2006-10-13 11:48:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...if she drinks that much, there could be an addiction in the works. Talk to her about her health instead of how you feel. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, she can't be a lush. You may have to thnk hard about being sad that she is slowly destroying herself, or breaking up & finding a new love who will respect herself more.
2006-10-13 11:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by fairly smart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The pathetic part is that you "love" this sot. In my opinion, she has an alcohol dependence and it seems there is nothing you can possibly say or do to stop her from making a fool of herself. Hmmm...does "loving her so much" mean that you must respect her and her choices as well? Personally, I don't think there's that much love in the world to make me put up w/ that much sh**. Since it 'affects you so much', try talking this fish into a AA program; stress to her her actions hurt you and they are hurting her as well. You cannot love someone so much that you hurt and compromise your feelings, too.
If that doesn't work...drop her azz!
2006-10-13 12:17:39 · answer #11 · answered by incognitas8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋