Kindergarten question concerning my kid crying at school....Please help?

Question

*SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY*
My daughter has been at kindergarten for a month now, and she's been doing great. Even her teacher only a week ago described her as a "love" to have in her class.
Then all of a sudden, yesterday, my wife says the school called because our daughter had been crying non-stop for 45 minutes because her nose was stuffy (shes only had about 400 colds since she's born!) and my kid even told me later she felt there was "something wrong with her". So my wife took her home early yesterday.

This morning, the school called AGAIN, to say she;s been crying and that her stomach hurts now. My wife went and told her she's gotta stay and that she wasnt taking her home. Then my kid said that her THROAT hurt.

It all sounds like a crock! Has anyone experienced that with their kid? That after a month of not a single event, she's crying and wants to go home??

Ann D - Whats ADHD? I know what ADD is, but whats this other one?

Answer 1

Think of it this way... Your daughter along with your family had a great summer. Going places, doing things and having fun. (I know this stage you are dealing with a little too well) Sepparation anxiety.

But oh no, this was taken away from her once she began school. The first month is a feel for how school is to your daughter. She made new friends, she has a great teacher, etc... Keeping in mind that it takes children longer to adjust to change than adults, because they only see the "ME" picture. Your daughter may have a sore throat, stuffy nose, but I think it is her way of trying to be at home with Mom/Dad.

Other than complaining of symptoms, did you ask the teacher if anything happened at school for this behaviour to start? If you know that your daughter is faking, I would still bring her to the doctor anyway. This way the doctor is telling your daughter that everything is fine, and she can go back to school. (Dr. approval) Then your parenting approval of back-up to what the Dr. said, may be the thing needed.

I would stick to your guns. Get the teacher involved. But incase it may be something.... please take notes. Make a little journal.

I went through the exact same thing with my son when he went to school. The headaches, the tummy aches, the sore throats... I later found out that there was another kid in the class who was kicking my son in line for recesses. I took my son to the Dr., recieved Dr. approval, I got the teacher involved by not letting him come home. It all worked out pretty well with a little time and a lot of patience. (And a parent/parent meeting with the guilty little culprit)

I know that you're in a catch 22, but sometimes love and understanding is all it takes. (I forgot the word sneaky... sneaky love and understanding) Even if you're at your witts end. Don't give up. Your daughter will come around.

They love to test us don't they? Hang in there

Answer 2

I'm concerned when your ADHD question appears with this other information..did the teacher call your daughter ADHD or somehow allude to that? If so, then I'm gonna guess the teacher has made a turn in her opinion and now is requiring your daughter to sit still for longer than your daughter is ready.
Ask for a meeting and perhaps the school nurse can come too as they see a lot of these "illnesses" all day long.
The teacher shoud not be making comments about ADHD only a psychologist, after testing the student and only if the parent has given permission.

Answer 3

I have gone through almost to a "T" what you are going through. If you or your wife are a stay at home parent they may be going through an adjustment period. Your child may have thought that going to kindergarten would be all fun and games like it was at home. She may now be realizing that (and even though they don't give a lot of work) she actually has to be in school to learn something. I did get lucky when my son was in kindergarten. His teacher was very understanding and very helpful when it came to problems in school. Talk to her teacher and find out if there is anything going on in school that may be making her cry or wish that she were home. Now my son also has ADHD. He still cries at the drop of a hat. Try and sit down and also talk to her. Maybe she can tell you what is going on. My son used to cry and say he was sick. I would then find out from him that he felt like he didn't have any friends. I then ended up talking to his teacher who was able to get the kids together in the class room and play. He eventually got over the "I don't have any friends" soga. Just have a little patience with her. But don't bring her home. She will soon forget about why she was crying. Also see if they are willing to have the guidance counselor talk to her when she starts to cry. Maybe she will be able to help.

Answer 4

Definitely wierd. It sounds like there is something AT the school that is bothering her and she doesn't want to tell you or mom about it. Perhaps something happened that upset her or scared her and she is afraid that it will/could happen again. Thus the cold or other body problems. Especially if she was having such a good time there.
A suggestion is to take the time to ask your daugther any series of questions that could illicit some sort of response from her. "Did something happen at school that upset you?" "Did someone upset you?" "Did you get hurt?" "Did someone make fun of you" "Did someone/something scare you?" Make the questions very light and don't force her to respond. It will just get her to look at what could be happening. She might answer you, she might not. Keep the questions light and easy so that she feels she can talk to you about it if she wants to. Maybe she'll tell you tomorrow. And, if she does start to tell you and gets a bit upset about it, don't push her about it -- perhaps she would like to SHOW you what happened, with say dolls or something. Again, the point is to make it light with her. I'm sure she'll tell you (soon if not right now). Sounds like she's a generally happy kid so could get over this very soon. I'd be interested in how it went with her and if you and she were able to fix this problem.

Answer 5

My daughter did the same back in kindergarten i didn't know what was wrong at the beginning but tired of listening i check with the teacher if any special event happen with my daughter and someone else and she said no, nothing happen, at home nicely started to ask her if anybody hurt her o if the teacher was no nice to her, and I'd explain that she had to go the school y mammy will make lunch and cannot go back and forth to school. So she started to tell me that she wants to do something in class and the teacher did not allow her to do it and she got mad and she did not want to go kindergarten, course at the beginning she loves the teacher but at soon as she said no i don't like her. Next day I told the teacher and she remember then what happened and she said she'll talk to her and will be fine, next week was no easy but finally she accepted the school rules , do not panic, talk to your daughter to find why she doesn't like to go to see her friends and start from there. good luck, my girl is in gr 5 now.

Answer 6

Sometimes when a child suddenly begins to display "illnesses" that are vague in nature (i.e. sore throat which can't be verified easily), it could possibly mean that she is being bothered by someone. Perhaps a classmate has taken on the role of enemy...kids are easily influenced and it doesn't take much to have one of them be less than nice for no reason at all.

Some are very good at doing things without anyone else's knowledge, even the teacher's, and perhaps your child is trying to get out of being in the class with the taunting child by indicating illness.

It might help if you sat down with her and assured her that nobody will be upset or angry if she is having a hard time with anyone in her class or with anyone in the school yard etc. But you want to help her and you don't want her being upset anymore. You can't help her tho if she isn't able to tell you what the problem is. Perhaps she'll then open up...perhaps she really is ill and she's always been home with someone when this has happened and she's just afraid or upset.

Have her examined by her doctor to ensure all is okay...if there is definitely no illness going on, meeting with the teacher might assist, asking her to watch out for other students possibly bothering her.

Kids don't normally act this way for no reason so if it isn't illness then it is most likely a classmate who is being bothersome...someone whom she got along with last week might not be someone she gets along with this week...such is the nature of classrooms.

Good luck with this...hopefully shortly you won't even be able to tell there was any problem.

Answer 7

This all sounds so familiar....except I was the one doing the crying and "hurting"!

When I was in first grade, I cried nonstop everday for the first month of school and also complained "my stomach hurts" and "i hurt my wrist". However, it's not like I did poorly in school...In fact I remember one time my teacher told me to slow down my reading aloud so the rest of the kids could follow along.

Of course I missed home, every little kid does, but I think that the problem is your daughter isn't being engaged enough/interested enough in the classroom, so she really has time to think about home, and start to miss her mommy or daddy. Either, the class is moving too fast for her, or it's moving too slow for her. Engage her abilities at home with those appropriate of her age level, and see how she does. It might be necessary for her to change classrooms.

Also, little things like leaving notes in her lunchbox might (saying 'I love you') help, as well as having a conference with the teacher...Did you ever think that the teacher might be verbally abusive and your daughter is just too shy to tell you directly? Even if that is not the case, still meet with the teacher and ask him/her if he/she can perhaps make sure your daughter is engaged in lots of different activities...Maybe she can be 'paper passer outer' or something.

It might take time, but she will get better

Answer 8

That scenario sounds like my kid sister 30 years ago. Come to find out she was intimidated by the teacher, even though the teacher thought highly of my sister. It's obvious something is wrong.. .. Something that is prompting your daughter to create a situation in order to remove herself from the classroom. It could be the student behind her is causing problems..or anyone in the class for that matter. Usually it is some form of inter-personal relationship that is causing the stress etc, for the child...Probably should confer with the teacher to at least alert her to look out for something driving the false ailments...That would also be the time to look for certain body language, comments facial expressions from the teacher - in case she's part of the problem.

Good luck

Answer 9

I have been having that same problem with my son for two years , I just recently found out that a boy in his class has been bullying him and my son was too scared to tell the teacher because the other kid said he will beat him up if he tells. This kid also steals his lunch. I talked to the teacher and she is keeping an eye on the other kid. Maybe something similar is happening with your daughter.Good luck!

Answer 10

Err on the side of caution. Make sure there hasn't been a recent event or problem at school or at home. Being bullied, problem with a teacher or other staff member. It could be nothing more than someone said something to her or it could mean she was sexually assaulted. Her pediatrician, the family doctor, her teacher or school councilor may have more insight.