So I was sitting there the other day watching my girlfriend change the oil in my car, and I was getting pissed because she kept struggling when she tried to unscrew the filter. I was even more pissed than usual because I was playing videogames as I supervised her from inside the house, until I finally had to put the controller down and go outside to yell at her.
I stood out there in my underwear on a Saturday morning screaming at the top of my lungs. Then my neighbor, who's a total pussy, comes by and says "you shouldn't be yelling at your girlfriend like that." I wasn't going to stand there and just take it, so I socked him one right in the colon. His wife was bringing groceries inside when this happened, and as if it wasn't bad enough that I had to stop playing video games to go outside and yell, now this ***** was screaming at me like it was my fault.
I couldn't understand what she was shrieking about, as she was flapping her arms in the air and screaming. She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her pussy husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this ***** get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games.
That wasn't the end of it though, it turns out the cranky old hag across the street saw all of this going on, so she came over to do what women do best: *****. When I opened the door she was standing there in a partly transparent night gown, and it totally ruined the prospect of having a ***** for at least 50 years. I was just starting to change my mind about the night gown when she started screeching at me and her stupid cat that she was holding started to hiss. So I took the cat and punted it over my neighbor's fence. She started crying "oh no! My cat! What have you done with my cat?!" I was laughing my *** off, then the ***** tried to scratch me so I gave her a round house kick and dislocated her hip. I was laughing so hard I **** my pants.
2006-10-13 03:03:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Civic Participation
You people are really lame if you don't know that this story is made up. Some of the response is really cool and i'm glad you have a sense of humor and enough brain cells to know that i am only being humorous. And for the rest of you, ya'll can kiss my @ss and maybe you can get enough of my turd in your feeble mind, i got more to say but I'm seriously developing high blood pressure; that's not a joke, by the way. I can literally feel my heart beating in my eye lid. Anyway, eat turd and waste away,
2006-10-13 23:29:00 · update #1
That was about the funniest thing I have read on here in a while. You really must be bored though. Thanks for making me laugh.
2006-10-13 03:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by Forgiven 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hope you develop your over active imagination into writing for Mad TV or something similiar, on the other hand if any of this is true you make the pro-abortion people to appear as a sign from God that we truly need to scientifically get a handle on "selective breeding" and in the event of a bad genetic sequence the only real answer the world has in hope is abortion. Either way this represents a total waste of human ambition.
2006-10-13 04:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by goldcrestmotors@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really see the question here. But, you obviously handled things correctly that day.
2006-10-13 03:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by Iridium190 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you managed to offend almost everyone here. You left out racism though. Tsk, tsk.
2006-10-13 05:17:52 · answer #4 · answered by BParker 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What are you, a 12 year old boy who just got yelled at by his mom, so now you're mad at women?
2006-10-13 03:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You apparently have some unresolved issues with your mom. When you were little she should have beat your a** for displaying that type of behavior. You didn't just get this way, you have been this way and I blame your parents for a lack of God in your life and sparing the rod.
2006-10-13 03:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by bzzybutterfly 1 · 1⤊ 5⤋
You've got way to much time on your hands.
2006-10-13 03:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
the ONLY WAY TO GO BRO !
dont forget to tell 'er to wash your pants ...
2006-10-13 03:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by Moonlite gambler 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol thx for the laugh. i needed it
2006-10-13 03:13:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope you're kidding!
She'd better beat you for that! lol
2006-10-13 03:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by ♥honey♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋