ok so i just got out of a verbally abusive relationship and he was an alcoholic, we were together for 11 mths. and i loved him very much and still love him but i couldn't take it no more and had to get out of it. but i feel so lost now. i don't like this being single thing and i want another guy cause i miss the comfort and the everyday habit thing. it is so hard but i can't go back to my ex or he will hurt me. but i just don't know what to do and i'm all confused and i feel like a lost puppy out in the world now. please help. how can i move on or what do i do?
2006-10-13 02:49:29 · 11 answers · asked by cowgirl_18 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to look after yourself. You vulnerable right now and could easily attract the wrong type of guy. Do something for yourself. Are there any courses you've always wanted to do but never had the time? Now you do......do something to make yourself feel good. Join a gym. Do a self defence course. Take up an art class. Get yourself a new hairdo or wardrobe.
In short, don't just grab the first guy that comes along. If your happy with yourself and being yourself then you will attract the sort of person who likes YOU.....the real you. Not the lost puppy defenceless you.
Well done for getting out of the relationship.....been there myself.....it's not easy. Take care of number one....YOU!
2006-10-13 02:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by red260z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not spend this time finding what you like? what sort of person you are? What makes you happy? You can make plenty of new friends and you never know romance may come your way. But don't rush into anything, the phrase 'somebody is better than nobody' is not always true. You have managed to get out of a bad relationship, don't jump into another so soon. Find yourself. You could go down the road of singles clubs/bars, self help groups, college courses which ever you choose will be a new chapter for you, try to live life to the full, you may find you are actually enjoying being single for a bit.
2006-10-13 02:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chicky chicky. I do not know why a large majority of women think like you. Must be feelings of pure nature. Look, you are a strong women. You do not need a person to keep you stable because you are stable. People always have a hard time dealing with change, but you must embrace it. Take a short break for a while from relationships and just have a good time. Go out with your friends. and for the love of God, do not let your abusive ex-boyfriend sweet talk you into getting back together. He will never change. Noboby can change themselves on the turn of a dime. And no! the love that you two HAD is not strong enough to change hime either.
2006-10-13 02:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way right now...my boyfriend is moving his stuff out of the apartment tonight as a matter of fact. Don't go back to this guy especially if he was abusive. We all feel lost when a relationship ends, but it never works the second time around so just concentrate on yourself right now.
2006-10-13 02:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by apriljm76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you really feel is pity and concern for him. If he is a alcoholic how in the world did he take care of your needs. Get you a huge teddy bear cuddle up and wait for the right guy to come along that will love and take care of you. Ever hear of the song " It's good loving somebody when somebody loves you back"
2006-10-13 02:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by bingomom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a time when your friends really count. You need to fill your time by keeping busy. Relax a little, treat your self to a massage or a pedicure. Take your time finding a new guy even though it sucks, If you rush it I can almost guarantee that you wont like what you end up with. Be very picky, and you will be lots happier in the end.
2006-10-13 02:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by lothlorien30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn to be happy with yourself. Then when you go into a relationship you are not looking for someone to give you something you can only give yourself. Dont rush into a relationship because you are lonely, it will most likely lead to you settling for someone who is less than what you truely desire. I am not saying dont date if given the chance, just have fun for a while until you are happy with life and yourself. Good luck, take it day by day, the pain will go away it is just a slow process.
2006-10-13 02:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know the definition of love first! If it was real love you would not be in this mess. Take control of your life, Ask your self what you learnt from this experience. Looks like you surely did not like the way you were treated in this experience hence you walked out of this relationship. Good for you! Now you exactly know how you like to be treated. Its a good awareness! Feelings of being lost is normal, because you seemed to have lost focus, but now that you have time how about focusing on yourself, and find out who you are and what is it that you want, this is a time for you to fine out your real self, You can thank your alcoholic friend to help you understand better. All experiences in life is for our own growth, You are a different person after this experience! A needed person will find a needy person! and when two needy people fall in love (naturally they will fall for they are meant to) there is abundant disappointment, because both are empty, how can you expect from someone who is empty? Their misery cannot add but only multiply. Imagine misery multiplied OMG!
Concentrate on yourself, focus on your education, career, and grow, a mature person can only meet a mature person, and when two mature people love the place becomes heaven. In love one grows, our individuality flowers, there is music always! Learn to take care of your needs, learn to love yourself first only then you can learn to love others, Self respect is important for love, and you have it, believe me you surely did not like when you were not treated fairly, because you exactly knew you did not deserve this treatment. There is nothing wrong in self love, i will say love can grow only when you have it so facilitate growth with in you.
Remember you are meant to be happy, and happiness is not dependent on the other, you have to find your joy you have to appreciate your own life to the point that you dont even depend on someone to tell you you are beautiful, your confidence should be to the level of answering (If someone says you are beautiful) "I know it"!
You are a flower on this earth, live life like this...you will find all the meaning!
2006-10-13 03:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, take it one day at a time. trust me I know how you feel. i am going through the same thing right now. i know it's hard and it hurts to be alone but right now that's what you need so you can focus on you and makiong you happy. remember you don't need no one to make you happy, "you make yourself happy", also remember that he hurt you, you didn't do it to yourself. trust me it will get better. it may not seem like it cause for me i feel like it can't get any worse but it will get better. hope every thing goes well, stay strong
2006-10-13 02:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by waynekirsten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is going to be hard, but you need to learn to be by yourself. If you just go from one man to the next you will never know you, and you will continue to find the wrong men. Hang out with you girl friends, get to know you. the guy thing will work its self out.
2006-10-13 02:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋