My friend is black, how do i tell him without being insensitive?

Question

im pretty sure he thinks hes white

Answer 1

I thought the 'carleton' comment was pretty funny... but I think you were looking for an honest answer.

I think context is important. (You probably figured out that I'm white by this point, but stick with me.) If you feel like he's being inappropriate, then that's important, and I think you need to sit back for a minute and listen to what he's actually saying with his actions. Is he pushing other black folks to change? Is he offended by black folks? Is a job he's in (or wants to be in) more 'white' than 'professional'? Have you ever heard him argue about any of this, and if so, what does he protect?

As an outside observation (and I know somebody's gonna get offended at this), the black community has a very complex and explicit vocabulary and way of communicating. But the problem comes, when someone (black, white, hispanic, or otherwise) is going to try to pursue personal excellence in any area, they're going to passionately find sources of information in that area, and, in some way, identify with them.

If you are able to understand his position in all this, then the only place to go from here, before I hear a response from you about his position, is: (a) acknowledge his passions and find out how to encourage him in them, and (b) carefully confront him about his own unwillingness to identify with the rest of the people around him in what they are passionate about.

This is a complex world, but there's no shame in being the friend you need to be.

Answer 2

This is a topic that I have pondered on for quite some time. If he's black and was raised in a predominantly white area/school then how else is he supposed to act if hes being real to himself? Nothing chaps my hiney more than a white person who acts "black" and was raised in the subburbs with the Smiths' living next door. Take Eminem for instance. He is always being accused of acting "black." But take a look at were he was raised. Do you really expect him to ignor all his surrounding to "keep it real" and act white? You are a product of your inviroment. If your raised in the hood and your white, chances are you will act black. A black raised in the 'burbs, will act white. Who cares. Its great.

Answer 3

That is absurd. If he is and does not have any physical traits then why and how would you know?
If somehow you did know, then why don't you let his guardians let him know, it is not like there is something wrong with being black which you seem to have thought the way you worded your idiotic question.
If you are saying that he is black and "acts" white, then let him be. Maybe it is just the way he was brought up.

Get smart.

Answer 4

If you are is friend indeed, it shouldn't matter what color he is, or what color he thinks he is. You're guilty of stereotyping, believing someone should act a certain way.
One of my friends refers to herself as being black, two others would as soon not mention it, and I respect that about all of them.One talks freely about how she was raised, the difficulties of being black in today's society, she is very well educated, and well spoken. The other two might mention it, because they know I am a friend, and would care how they are feeling, but likely they would not. One of them may have Caucasian bloodlines, the others do not. I like them all, equally, they are all nice people.
They can present themselves as white, black, they can belong to whatever culture they want. I'm just glad they spend time in our culture, the one we have made as friends.

Answer 5

You don't have to. He propbaly knows he's black but likes the white culture and maybe that's how he grew up. So let him act white. Besides aren't there a lot of white people trying to act black?

Answer 6

Just a question......what makes you think he thinks he's white....??? is he blind??? And honestly, I dont think that should matter. I mean, it is not like youre gonna tell him he's got cancer or Alzheimer's... best thing to do is just to forget about the issue and go back to "normal" whatever it is like over there. Black/white/yellow, etc, are only labels people give to each other......dont fall for the same.

Answer 7

Why is it necessary to tell him anything? How will colour change who he is? Would you like him defined by his race?

You don't need to worry about being insensitive. The fact is, you already are if you only see the colour of his skin.

Answer 8

If you feel more comfortable with him acting like what you think "black" is then maybe you are the one with a problem.
As long as he isn't a self hating black guy I don't see why he has to conform to what you think he should act like.

Answer 9

Is your friend blind? If not, I am sure he looks at himself in a mirror once in a while and he probably KNOWS he is black!!
And what kind of friend are you if you think this way ? it seems more of a problem for YOU than it is for your friend !!!!!

Answer 10

expensive, I even have quite plenty in worry-unfastened with you on that front. i become raised in a predominantly white city, the only difference being, there quite become no "black" subculture there in any respect. you have 2 alternatives actual, and that's to perceive your self with the innovations that they are speaking approximately, and get offended... Or to shrug it off as stupid **** that your buddies are saying, in case you quite believe they are your buddies, then you definately could desire to believe they might not intentionally harm you, or direct such comments at you, wherein case, it's time to desensitize. It should not count what they are saying assuming they don't look to be throwing you on the spit and roasting you over the fireplace... If it quite is a factor, i t will bypass, yet truthfully, you're greater effectual off getting used to such issues now, and studying to enable them to bypass. there isn't any sense in getting bent out of shape over what human beings say, extraordinarily not acquaintances. whilst they insult you in my opinion then that's a distinctive tale, yet whilst they are being racist... nicely you're able to desire to be waiting to assert even if you opt for around your buddies, and believe that they are going to be waiting to handle it. i know there isn't something, i could not say around my acquaintances, they might not care, no count how insensitive it become, nor could I care if something they stated become insensitive... in time, you are able to definitely snigger at human beings's stupidity. to your own sake... enable it bypass, enable them to have their ingredient, and in case you are able to, throw in some opposite jabs of their direction, just to substantiate you all are on the comparable internet site. i wish you get by using it without dropping somebody you concept become a chum.