I have been dating this person for 7 weeks(we have spoke about anything and everything, and connect alot), we stopped contact with eachother for a couple of days, because we had a disagreement. During those couple of days, I started to hang out more with my girlfriends, we would go out for some expresso/coffee at times after work and stuff, and he was under the impression that I was spending free time with other guys. He called me last nite, we started to talk about "us" in a deep/serious way, and we both expressed that we missed eachother of those days of not speaking with one another, slowly he started to say that "he is falling in **** with me". I stopped him for a sec, because he didnt complete the sentence. I asked that if he is "falling in love with me" and he said yes! and spoke the 3 magical words to me. During the time we were dating, before last night – he wouldn’t express much of how he felt(he was playing hard to get), I think he noticed that I will ignore and move on, if he didn’t start pull the weight on his end. Yes! I do got strong feelings for him, and I do love him too -- been waiting for him to say it first, coz he never expressed his feelings. By the way – I am 30 and he is 36, we both are divorced and have children of our own, he has 3 kids and I have 1 child My question is, when he said that he loves me, was it coz out jealousy or did he really meant it. How can you tell?
2006-10-13 02:18:54 · 29 answers · asked by Fairytale_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow
i don't know you, and I really don't mean any disrespect - but really take "mind games" to a new level.
Here's an idea...it's somewhat novel, but try this once.
Suppose for a second, that people speak whats on their mind and in their hearts...and they are sincere.
You don't worry about how you "can tell"...because you don't need to tell. He loves you in his way and for that, be thankful.
If it turns out that he is a controlling, manipulative, jealous creton...kick him to the curb.
Give the poor guy a chance at being sincere before you assume he's not.
On another note - I would say if you have to play games with affection...you know...waiting for him to express his feelings "first" ....
and it's only been 7 weeks ....
i would suggest, respectfully, that maybe you aren't ready to give your heart.
i sincerely wish the best for both of you
2006-10-13 02:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He realized how much he missed you b/c you gave him competition. When you two weren't speaking, you were out and about. You have a lot of pride and that's good. But one thing you have to clarify with him is where is this relationship going? Are you his girlfriend? or are you two just dating? Because if you two are just dating, then you have the right to look around. He wouldn't have said it unless he meant it. Guys just don't say stuff like that without really meaning it. You should definitely take a chance, what do you have to lose? If you aren't willing to risk a little, then how will you ever know, if your relationship with him will go anywhere. And it probably was jealousy and he did mean it.
2006-10-13 02:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is still young, so I would take things slowly. Sure, you may both have strong feelings for each other, but don't go out and buy a ring just yet.
The fact he said it after a fight could mean he's confused, or he may be genuine. Asking, "do you mean it" or "are you sure" isn't going to help the situation, so I wouldn't go that route. Just take it easy and see where the relationship naturally goes. Don't force anything, especially since you both have children involved. I'd hate to see you two get really serious very quickly, get the kids excited,and then just as quickly decide it isn't what you want.
Good luck with your new relationship, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-13 02:23:04 · answer #3 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He meant it. At your age( no offense) neither of you can truly afford to waste time and energy in a relationship of fallacy. Hopefully he understand this.... No one can really answer this wuestion except your boyfriend cause only he knows how he feels. If you trust him then believe him, Action speak louder than words so only time will tell whether or not he meant it. I'm in a similar realtionship and I often think the same thing, I know she does too although she'll never say it. But these thoughts are normal and I think love is worth it, no one knows the future so just enjoy the time you spend with him cause, truthfully know one knows what tommorrow brings,
~Cheers
2006-10-13 02:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that his feelings are deep but you have to questions the timing! I would say that he noticed that you were able to continue on with your life without him, yes you might have missed him, but it didn’t stop you! It might have been in his best interest to wait a little while to say he loved you! 7 weeks really isn’t that long and then to have already had a disagreement that left you guys not talking! Be careful!
2006-10-13 02:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's my guess that he used it out of jealousy. Especially considering the fact that he assumed you were spending time with other guys. If I were you I would pay close attention for the little clues he may give off, and try not to be swayed first by those three little words. It takes longer than 7 weeks for someone to truly fall in love.
I wish you luck on this.
2006-10-13 02:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him. It is possible that the couple of days apart gave him breathing space to examine his own feelings towards you and he really missed you. Healthy jealousy is not bad, it usually means that the person cares about you. It's when it becomes excessively possessive that you need to worry. I would advise giving your relationship more time to mature anyway. 7 weeks isn't very long to get to really know somebody. You have your children to think of too so don't rush into anything to fast.
2006-10-13 02:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by Country Hick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he loves you and is scared sh*tless to lose you! He had a taste of what it was like to lose you and he really really didnt like it at all... Think about it... if hes jealous... that means hes scared that someone else is getting what HE WANTS... YOU!!! Eather way he obviously feels really close for you as you do him... tell him what you were doing and if he can trust that then your good to go... its all about trust isnt it?? So all you can do is say what was going on and chuck it up to that and see what he has to say... i think you did the right thing and let him know your not up for dealing with nonsence! Good way to get him in the right mind set right out of the gate :)
2006-10-13 02:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by chrystal_lynn2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling if you can't tell, how can we tell.
YOU are the only person who can answer that. Every person, relationship, and ideal of love is individual to every person out there. Obviously you've been hurt in the past, it has left you unsure of yourself and others. You need to get beyond that. You need to treat each new expriance individually. You need to trust yourself, your instincts and your heart. And you need to realize that Love is a gamble. But it is worth the risk. Again only you can know the answer to this.
2006-10-13 02:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by leonsmom1102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tricky one...one thing you have to consider is he's 36 and he might feel his clock is ticking...so he could be wanting to settle down...but what worries me about that is, that's the reason he said the 3 magic words...when people reach a certain stage in their life they feel like they have to settle down with someone...and that's not the right reason to do that...atleast give him a chance to prove he loves you
2006-10-13 02:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Maestro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋