My boyfriend is still a virgin and he told me that i am the one! what am i to do?
i don't want to hurt him (not physically i mean emotionally)
Because what if things don't work out...then what?
We were together before and when i left him...he got really weard and depressed...so what happens if we sleep together and things don't work out!!
2006-10-13 01:53:49 · 28 answers · asked by heyhey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok let me just add this because i don't think alot of u understand...i am old enough for sex...i am 20 and i am not a virgin anymore...see the thing is...i've been hurt before...and i don't ever want anyone to feel the way i felt...and i really don't want to be the person to cause someone that pain!
2006-10-13 02:02:31 · update #1
I think that maybe u should take things slowly and see where it goes...if u still feel that u don't want to sleep with him don't...it is not okay to feel like this...maybe u are not meant to be?
it sounds to me like u are not happy in the relationship and that maybe u are in it for the wrong reasons...
you sound more worried about him than what u are about yourself...
Maybe you shouldn't go on, because this might make him more inlove (or actually obsessed) with u and then if it doesn't work...what would u do?
2006-10-13 01:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel under pressure!
If you've been together a while then just relax in the Trust and Understanding you share together!
There should be No Hurry to undertake this major step(In Both of Your Lives!)
There is too Much pressure placed on Males Loosing Virginity(And Females too!!), why don't we all take a step side ways on this issue and let things happen at an Un-Hurried pace!
It's far More Pleasurable when the time is 'Right' and you BOTH instinctively Know!!
Both You...Have a Good Weekend!!!
2006-10-13 02:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dodie M,
I believe, just like you clearly do, that sex is something sacred; especially the first time. Your bf is in the tender stage where what happens now will make or break what he eventually becomes in life.
It will determine whether he'll take relationships seriously or whether he'll be a user.
Sadly though, from the information you've provided, it seems as though you don't love him.
If you don't then please don't have sex with him.
To him, at this stage, sex is the culmination of love.
It could be really bad for him.
When I met my best friend 3 years ago, he had only broken up with his girlfriend 1 year aback. He hadn't had sex with any other girl and it was just her. They'd been dating for 5 years, since school days and then she told him that she was not the one for him. He was so devastated, he took therapy. and finally when he could face the world again it was because no girl could get close. I was really surprised that I got so close to him myself.
The truth is, you have been hurt already and even though you may not love him, you care about him enough not to see him get hurt.
Choose wisely dear.
Choose as though your heart was on the line here instead of his.
Good luck and cheers.
2006-10-13 02:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by ilyena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First evaluate his statement of "You're the one". Does he mean it, or is it a ploy? Some guys really do feel this way (I did)... others will use it to get in your pants. With that being said, if he makes the decision that you are the one, it is not your responsibility to make sure it lasts. In today's society, most people do not end up together forever with the one that they lost their virginity to. If you want to be with him, do it. If not, that is your right as well.
I would be more worried over your attitude towards the relationship. You said you already broke up once, why did you get back together? Did you take pity over him getting depressed? If so, your relationship is doomed to fail. This is especially the case if you are evaluating situations and scenarios of "once you break up". That just shows you know already that he is not rigth for you. There are two philosophies I lived by when I was single. 1) You break up for a reason, so why get back together. People do not change, and especially not to make someone else happy. 2) Once you know that the person you are dating is not the person you will spend your life with, move on. It is not fair to lead them on, and you may miss your own opportunities. With all this in mind, if you want to sleep with him go for it, but it sounds like you maybe should just both move on your separate ways.
2006-10-13 02:10:17 · answer #4 · answered by Craig B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so concerned about HIS emotional well being, well honey what about yours? You can go thru the same thing...As for him, if it doesn't work out, he will probably get even weirder, and more depressed, and maybe even suicidal this time, blame it all on you, and then will you be ready to shoulder that manipulation by him? If you don't want to do this, don't let him use YOU because he decided he wants to give it up.
2006-10-13 02:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boys don't take loosing their virginity in the same way as females so if you guys like each other & are old enough to be thinking about sex ...he will be fine. If you are not really old enough why you rushing ? Sex is very complicated so be careful trying to play grown up . It's not all what it is cut out to be.
2006-10-13 01:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!! My sister had an ex-boyfriend that when she broke up with him he did crazy things. He almost killed himself. I mean litterally if that last thing hadn' of moved he'd be dead. Don't sleep with him just take it slow. That way you have nothing to regret and nothing lost. Show him that you're interested just not in sex. Keep in mind that sex is for marriage always has been always will be.
2006-10-13 01:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you've already made your mind up about not wanting to be with him in the long run or you wouldn't be stressing about it. So if you're afraid to be that one that takes it from him, then don't do it. It's simple. Don't hurt him.
2006-10-13 02:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How are you sure that you are not going to work out, you are judging yourself before you have try it out. Remember we are all ignorant in something, we don't know it all, but we learn buy trying new things, go ahead and go in to that new adventure and make your adjustment as you go and both of you will become experts, together and that's beautiful. You learn in life by taking chances intelligently. Good luck.
2006-10-13 02:04:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wait till you are married. I've learned throughout my life that guys arn't trustworthy. If you wait till your married, then he is for sure sticking with you. So you can do it whenever you want. If he says the classic "if you love me you'll do it" you just come back at him with "if you loved me you wouldn't pressure me" that gets them thinking. I had to do that with my ex boyfriend. I said it and he wasn't hurt, he just had to think about it. If hes gonna be "hurt" by you not sleeping with him before marriage, then hes a jerk and you shouldn't waste your time with him. He says he thinks you are the one, then he should marry you. You don't have to have sex to be in love. My most passionate love had no sex whatsoever.
2006-10-13 02:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋