The relationship was going good,we bought a house, and everything anyone could ask for. She started saying she was unhappy. We broke up a month later...She said the reason she wanted to break up was she missed the single life and didn't want to date anyone anytime soon. Two weeks later she has a bf, she keeps telling me to get a gf, i still love her. We are still friends. she comes over once every couple weeks. Did she already know her current bf? was she seeing him behind my back? Should I take her advice and start dating? Will she come back? I don't know what to do. It hurts so much to think about it all. I want to stop thinking about it, but I can't. What do i do? I don't want to ask her these thing because i am afraid the friendship will break.
2006-10-13 00:52:38 · 12 answers · asked by jester9236 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am sorry to say but your doubts are prolly correct. Speaking since I am a female and I can relate to how females think. When she told you she was unhappy she prolly had someone else in mind already. It could have been her single friends pressuring her or anything for that matter, but the fact still remains she has a new bf. I know it hurts like all get out, but the fact remains she obviously has moved on or is trying to do so.
But to be fair to the next lady you get serious with or date be fair to yourself and let your heart heal. There isn't much you can do about her dating someone else.
I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I dated a guy for almost seven years that broke my heart. We remained friends and still chat from time to time but we are both now married to someone else.
Maybe it just wasnt meant to be. From my expereince when a relationship goes sour for whatever reason and you get back with that person there is always doubts in your mind. about what if stuff. Don't live life wandering about the what ifs. and honestly if you really want to know what went wrong ask her. She can't read your mind. Personally I would want to know too. I mean you did date her for four years so I think you have the right to know.
But i would focus on moving on and picking up the pieces and trying to scavenge the rest of your heart up and put it back together. It will take some time but you can do it:)
2006-10-13 01:03:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I can't say she knew her current boyfriend beforehand. But I doubt she was being honest when she said she missed her single life. Unless ofcourse she felt the relationship (she had with you) was suffocating her and thought she needed a bit of a space. If that was the case, however, she won't go running to another man in two weeks. Nossar she won't! So.. maybe she did, huh?. Or maybe she just wanted out of the relationship and was trying to let you down easily. Whichever way, i think the best thing to do (for you) is to stop trying to figure HER out and deal with the problem at hand. That's what i learned in life. People do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons (and sometimes for no reason at all) so unless i want to lose my head over it all, i gotta stop thinking about them (their motives) and start worrying about myself. After all, my pain was the least of their worries so why should i waste any more time on them, right?!. So.. get furious! Tell her not to call you, come around the house or try to "be your friend". She's given up that opportuntity when she breaks off with you and went out and got herself a boyfriend. See her for what she is, Not for what she was coz people change, babe, whether we like it or not (or think it's fair/unfair). Getting yourself a girlfriend immediately may not be advisable. You'll probably end up hurting her and she doesn't deserve it (coz she isn't the one that hurt you). But you can work on yourself so that when the next one comes your way, you'll be better prepared. Find something that would take your mind off thinking about her, and the time you had with her. A hobby of some sort that would make the healing process easy. And PLEASE, i beg you, don't sit around waiting for her to come back. She may (when her new boyfriend ditches her for another girl and is feeling lonely on Saturday evenings). But why would you wanna be that kind of a guy??
P.S. Two months is a short time for a relationship (a web) you been builiding for 4 years, so don't be so hard on yourself, you'll be ok as time goes by
2006-10-13 01:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by Biqo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not trust this girl. After buying a house together, she didn't feel of having a happy family with you. Wanting to be single is just her excuse to get away from you. Give yourself some time to start dating again, never date another girl when you still have feelings for her. Never accept her back if she returns to you one day, your life will be full of confusion. I dun think you deserve her friendship either.
2006-10-13 00:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mermaid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through the same thing just on a smaller scale. My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me b/c he was "depressed" b/c of me. He said it didn't have to do with anyone else. He waited about 2 weeks and is now dating a girl named jesscia. I know exactly how you feel and I'm sorry you have to go through something as crushing as that. It truly doesn't matter if he was cheating on me b/c it would only hurt worse knowing about it. I doubt she was cheating on you but you need to trust that. Now, I'm seeing another guy and it helps but you need to have friends. b/c your girlfriend won't always be there and friends will ALWAYS be there for you.
I'm sorry and goodluck
much love
Gracie
2006-10-13 01:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As u said it was a 4 year love then brake then it is bad that u brake up. And now u did than it is never easy to forgot someone so easily with u attached from such a long time.
2006-10-13 00:55:34 · answer #5 · answered by Frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't speak for her, but it seems to me she was messing around with this other man towards the end of your relationship. If she was that's really selfish of her. All signs point to that she was. She has made her decisiion to move on and I think you should move on to. If it is met to be then she will come back to you. I know this was a serious relationship of being 4 years. If she was cheating on you with this man beofre she broke up and to me all signs point to yes she was cheating on you. Why would you want her back ? I say move on slowly and if she does come back to you then you have to decide for yourself. Good luck to you and I wouldn't wait aroun
d forever waiting on her either. You seem like a sweet man and I wish you well.
2006-10-13 01:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by MizzSweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she was afraid of commitment seeing you could buy a house which might have freek her out. you deserve someone much better then her. she was able to trow you away when you could actually buy a house and be responsible. you deserve more then her. how to get rid of her see how she could actually think about dating another guy that should make you be much more stronger and says that she is nothing to you. she dont deserve your love. the love that you have for her still right now is not for her. you deserve better.
2006-10-13 00:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ lavender baby ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. But if you really want to go on or try to be with her again, try to speak to her...Try to find an answer to all these questions... You need to do something with your life...To "live" again....with or without her... I know it is hard...But if she doesn't want to be with you, brake all the relationships with her until you get over her....When you woun't be so vulnerable...Take my advice and try to find out the truth...It will be better...Now this is a solution, you do not have to do what I tell you, but think what is best for you: to continue suffering or to find out the truth?
2006-10-13 00:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by ota marmota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i'm going through a bad time as well. I cant get my ex-boyfriend of my mind. everything i do reminds me of him and i just cant stop crying. I don even have a shoulder to cry onb ut i'm trying my very best to keep myself sane from all the madness going on in my mind. Just try to be with somebody who keeps u happy. Or u can email me as well if u need help.
2006-10-13 00:57:48 · answer #9 · answered by Linda M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow her... meet new friends and mingle with them.. maybe then she might realize that she loves you still but if not, then move on.. 4 years is kinda long but the fact that youve been leaving more than 4 years w/o her then you can still live life w/o her.. if she's happy with what she have now, then just wish her luck.. move on and dont just focus yourself about the memories you had with her..there are lot of things life to offer you..GOODLUCK..:)
2006-10-13 00:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by ettienne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋