kids and chocolate.?

Question

My 18mnth old daughter used to eat lots of fruit and veg, and i mean LOTS. Her gran used to give her chocolate in moderation and i asked my husband to ask his mum to give her less, and she did.
Now (a while later) she gives her it constantly, the other day she gave her 4 small bars of choc!!

We have asked her before to stop, her gran also has a sweet tooth.

Now its gettin beyond a joke? what do i do, my child is starting to refuse her fruit and veg now and ask for sweets.

I dont want to sound strict, and i dont want to cause any arguements?

Here is a good example.

My daughter used to ask for apples etc. I just asked her if she wanted an apple or banana and she said no. I said what do u want, and she replied, CAKE!

Answer 1

hiya!! yeh its not good when grandparents get over-involved with your child, especially as you have asked her to stop. I'm 14 and i wish i had never started eating chocolate. i now don't eat it anymore but i wish i hadn't ever eaten it, what your doing is very good you don't sound strict your daughter will thank you later on in life and you will make her more healthy and she will have better skin. if she asks for chocolate just say you don't have any and keep saying it, after 1-2 weeks she will give up and not feel the need to have chocolate anymore. you could give it to her on a Saturday or something but don't let her have it every day. that is once you get her gran to stop giving it to her. explain to her politely that you feel that she will be more healthy if she doesn't eat chocolate or something. I'm sure you will find a way, but its good what your doing and your daughter will thank you I PROMISE !!! luv Kelly xxx

Answer 2

You're not being strict! This is ridiculous, and if your husband doesn't say something, you should! He tiny teeth will get decayed and she'll develop all sorts of problems... weight.. diabetes... Goodness!! 4 bars of chocolate at any age is far too much!

I would take the chocolate straight off your daughter and tell her if she's good you'll give her a bit( a small bit) later...

I have two children, age 3 and 4 and have explained about teeth going black and falling out if you eat too many sweets... they are very aware of what is healthy and what is a treat. Your mother in law is probably meaning well, but is overdoing it, and you HAVE to tell her that is not how you bring up your child, and you will not let her have this amount of sweets...

Answer 3

The problem with family members is they pretty much can ruin in a few days all the good habits we've worked so hard to instill in our children! If you have a husband like mine, you wont get him to say something to his own mother. He'll shrug it off and say, it's no big deal. But this is a big deal as you are seeing by your daughter's refusal to eat nutritious foods. That's why it's better to never give sweets in the first place (or very rarely), and as hard as we (mothers) try there will always be someone out there (loving family members) that will want to 'spoil' our children. If only we can learn to spoil them without resorting to things like sweets and toys!
First try to get your husband to see the importance of this. Have him be the one trying to get your girl to eat her peas and carrots. If he doesnt get on board, then really you will have to think out a game plan of convincing your mother-in-law. And you do have to convince her, otherwise she will just go behind your back and give when you arent around (already faced this with my own MIL, with my 6mth old!). You could try the 'remember when your son was a toddler, did you give him chocolate this often? You never had a problem making sure he ate his fruits and veggies?' She might not remember, or maybe she DID, then you'll have to try something else. Be nice about it, coming across as a concerned mother and not someone who wants to control everything that happens in your daughter's life. But if that doesnt work, you'll just have to tell her you're very sorry she doesnt agree with you and then be strict, cause an argument, whatever it is you need to do to truly get this issue cleared up. Let her know you even discussed this issue on Yahoo ?'s and we all agreed with you!

Answer 4

I too have a chile who since she went on to solids she ate all fruit and veg and was given chocolate buttons on a friday. She was quite happy with this. Then as she got older and went visiting family she always seemed to get sewwts and grew quite fond of them. AS she got older she had more of a desire for sweet things so we had to tell family that she was not to have sweets, only once and then it had to be something of a healthier choice.

To be honest it's not good for te kid to think of granny or grandad as being lovely for giving them sweets, they should love them for being them even without the sweets. it really isn't doing the children any good as they become spoilt and everytime they visit granny they will want sweets. The child wont thank granny when she'he is fifteen and has a weight problem as there so addicted to sweets. I'm not saying no sweets. but if it's between you and you parents then i think you should know and decide what the child eats until she can decide for his/herself. Another thing is because you dont want to be giving sweets and chocolate all the time becasue granny already has the child will just end up thinking mummy never gives me sweets and think your horrible mummy hen there really is no need for that.

I say be straight and firm, it's your child at the end of the day. Just say politely that i have said it to you before but i really dont want you giving the child/ren chocolate anymore-or do in in mederation.

Answer 5

She is your child, you have the right, and it should be down to you, to control her eating habits at such an important development time. Tell your mother in law that you want to wean her off the chocolate and would appreciate her help with it. Tell her it should be a treat on special occasions and not all the time. If you explain your reasoning and that she is refusing fruit and veg Im sure your mother in law will understand. Good luck.

Answer 6

my 2yr eats a few sweets aswell but does like her fruit and veg ,the best thing u could do is , when her gran gives her some choc take it of yr daughter and say shes just had some , i will give to her later , but i do think u do need to get strict .

Answer 7

Tell your daughter's grandmother that you appreciate that she wants to try and make the kid like her by giving her candy and cakes, but if she doesn't start respecting that you're her mother and you don't want her giving YOUR daughter any more sweets, you're going to limit visiting times to when you're there and can make sure that YOUR rules as the child's mother are being followed.

I did the same thing with my mother in law.. she had a sweet tooth, and it became so bad that all my son ever wanted was candy. I told her flat out ( I wasn't very nice about it, but you could be more tactful if you want ) " Jordan is my son, and as his mother, I have rules. I understand that you feel that children should be allowed to have candy all the time, but it is disrupting is eating habits at home and I'm not going to allow you to visit him anymore if you don't stop giving him junk all the time. I would appreciate if you respected by position as his mother, and that the rules I make, I make because I want him to become a happy and healthy young man, and that is not going to happen if all he ever wants to eat is candy."

She didn't give him candy anymore, and when she did, she asked me first if it was okay. She was a little mad at me for a while, but my son's health came before my relationship with my mother in law. She eventually got over it.

Answer 8

Don't stop her from eating chocolate.But just regulate it.Make it thrice in a Week or so.Tell ur child and make her realize that she has to deal with it or may be she has to go to the dentist.
And about the mother in law,I think she is elder to u all but she still doesn't know how to handle a child or treat a child properly so that she can have Good Habits. Wierd,tell her to stop this and make her realize how stubborn the child is bcoming from such young age. And also make her understand that although she has lot's of love for her grandchild but let this love TAKE A POSITIVE TURN IN MOULDING UR DAUGHTERS FUTURE TO THE BRIGHT SIDE . SWEET LOVE for ur daughter GOD BLESS her .Bbye MEM.

Answer 9

I agree with you, that is a problem, 4 bars of chocolate is way too much for a toddler. You need to speak to your husband again and make him speak to Grandma. If it comes from you it might sound too judgemental (you know new mothers versus old mothers kind of thing). Tell him to lightly say that the child must only get chocolate in moderation for a treat, quote all this TV stuff about fat kids to get your point across too. Granny's want to be loved I know but this Granny has gone too far.

Answer 10

Tell her a little white lie i.e. that the health visitor is doing a study on children's diets at the clinic and you have to list everything your child eats for the next month this might make her think and stop about giving her sweet food, other wise take a packed lunch with you every time you go.