my daughter has no repect for me. shes 16?

Question

i dont know wht ive done wrong, she is great when shes in a good mood (not often) alot has happened in our family, my husband died . i cant blame thet cause she was like that before ,although im allowing for that and i talk to her all the time. she seems to have little or no respect for anyone.

Answer 1

It's raging hormones, mostly.

Be soft when approaching your teenager. Ask your teen if she is ready to talk yet, especially if the wounds inflicted are deep. Most importantly, be sincere with your softness. Authentic vulnerability gives your teenagers the chance for complete healing. It offers them a safe environment in which to share their struggles and even confront you when needed.

Ask specifically how you have hurt your teen to the point where she shows you no respect. This allows your young adult to share her feelings-a skill that she'll certainly need throughout her adult life. If your teen isn't willing to share, don't push the subject. Sometimes you can help your teenager understand herself better by asking more specific questions about how she feels. The important thing is to not push or degrade your teen if she doesn't want to open up right away. Not sharing can mean that she isn't ready, that the hurt is still very strong, or that she doesn't feel safe enough to share. What this step does is validate her pain-that is, acknowledge that her feelings are real and important and worth spending time on. This is a great way to release anger or hurt feelings.

If your teen still refuses to change or open up, there are several possible reasons why. Perhaps the offense was deeper than you realized or she wants to see your behavior change first. Perhaps she is still hurt by past offenses. Whatever the reason, the best thing is to be patient with your teen. No matter how she responds, never drop the issue altogether simply because she isn't ready. Let the situation cool off for awhile, then come back and repeat these steps.

Sooner or later she will realize that you want to reconnect with her.

Answer 2

She is probaly using drugs and I'm saying this from experience probaly not anything heavy but, mood swings and lack of respect always' well almost always means drugs....My father died when I was 16 and I was a horrible person it also doesn't help that there isn't a father or father figure there girls really need that...If I were you I would just try to figure out the source of the problem if that doesn't work do counseling if that doesn't work then you'll have to find alterior methods google around see if you can find something out maybe a list of body language and compare them to her find out if it points to drugs, or some sort of Bi-Polar or Depression stage it's critical to find these things out do research don't stand around or your little girl could end up in jail or doing something really stupid like I did for many many years i'm 25 now and I wish i wouldv'e learn this sooner than by 21 good luck

Answer 3

I remember when I was 15 I had such an attitude problem. I was rebelling to any rules applied to me. I didn't hate my mother I just thought I knew everything. I outgrew it fortunately. Your daughter may be in a phase. However she may be suffering from low self esteem along with dealing with the death of your husband. She may have acted this way prior to that but the situation only inflamed it. Counseling would do her good. If she refuses to go then talk to her school councilor. He/she can intervene for you during school time making it hard for her to avoid help. Even if it's just a few meetings it may be enough for her to unload some bottled up emotions being it anger or sadness. Do it now before she is old enough to refuse it.

Answer 4

it could be because she is dealing with the loss of her father, it's bad as an adult but as a teenager it's worse.
You need to sit her down and have a full out discussion, and try more disipline. she's acting out for attention and she's getting the wrong kind.
Should think of counseling.. not just for her but for the both of you, it can help work out the kinks and maybe help the problem before something seriously life changing happens to her due to her behavior.

My sister was the same way until she was 18 and got pregnant.. since she had her son she is back to her old self and not the moody bad person anymore..and that having a baby was a serious shock and she realized she HAD to grow up and stop acting like she was 5 and having a constant temper tantrum...
You need to help your daughter BEFORE anything like this happens.. you should also start her on birth control sooner rather than later because she's more than likely already having sex or is thinking about getting ready to have sex...
Go to counseling and get the problem resolved asap!

Answer 5

Maybe it is just her age. I did some really stupid things to my parents as a teenager. Put them through some **** and if I could I would take it all back. I regret what I put them through and I honestly can't tell you why I did. Mine was mostly doing stuff I shouldn't have been doing. I don't know that I was ever disrespectful b/c my father would not tolerate disrespect. Try to hang in there and keep trying to talk with her. Maybe she needs a counselor. Someone other than you to confide in. What is her social life like, friendss?? Is she involved in drugs? I wish you luck and I am sorry to hear of your loss. I hope things turn around for you both. You have to stick together. How is she with others? Disrespectful? or just to you??

Answer 6

They all go through this phase in one way or another. At one time my daughter in her early teens told my husband and I to go f**k ourselves during an argument. I leaped out of my chair and beat the s**t out of her....she NEVER said it again. She's much older now but still has the tendency to get moody and verbal, I tell her to go home and don't come back until she can talk to me in a civilized manner....eventually she'll call me and apologize for her actions.
You haven't done anything wrong, but if you don't start taking steps to correct the issues things will only keep getting worse for you. LOL

Answer 7

Normally I would tell you to beat the breaks off of her, because I refused to have a child of mine disrespect me in my house or anywhere else in anyway, that's just me.
She is just @ that I hate my mother stage hell we all went through it, but she needs to know that you are the parent and what you say goes!!
Start taking her luxuries away, and if that doesn't work put her in some teen support groups where she can relate to other teens with the same or similar issues that really works, counseling for the two of you is not a bad idea either..
Also let her know if she keeps it up you will call Juvenile and guess what they won't take you, they will take her and while you are @ home watching cable she will be living as close to jail as she would want to be..
Sometimes tough love is the best way to go.

Answer 8

Not enough disipline. I see this happen all the time. Parent sets rules, and don't fully stick by them. And then don't make penatlies strict enough, and real enough. Once the kid sees that your not sticking by your rules, or sees any hypocracy in your actions, or sees any loop holes in your authority and leadership as a parent, they then see that they can control the situations to work out for them, and in the end, controlling you. Your child is a mirror image of you, remember that.

You can read all the parenting books in the world, and talk to as many doctors as possible (spending lots of money) but it really all just boils down to being a strong authority figure when it comes to rules and regulations with your child. That doesn't mean be a mean b*tch. It means being logical, treating her like a human being, and sticking by what you know is right and communicating to her that like an adult. And no hypocracy in your actions. She will pick up on that if you do.

Also, be a good listener. It shows your treating her like an adult with adult feelings. More like treating her like a human being.

Answer 9

My teenage boy is the same, minus the mood swings. I try to remember what I was like at that age, but my life was really really messed up, so I cant realistically compare the 2.

I took a Love and Logic parenting class and as long as I use a few (2-3) key phrases, it really helps.

Answer 10

this is normal not many children have respect for their parents a lot of people say one thing that their kids are angels the only angels are in the sky. you feed them clothe them look after them when they are ill.Respect not on your Nelly you may get this when they go to college or get married and they find out for them selves until then its a downhill struggle you are like a front door mat. If she is abusing you or inflicting violence.Immediately go to the authorities and seek professional advice.but don't let it carry on .Regards