What can you suggest for frustration at a lack of privacy?

Question

I love being involved in my kids' lives, but what about struggling with having their lives be so invasive? Sure, I can take a drive or go read a book, but it is so hard to have physical boundaries at home.
Realistically, one of them really does need help with homework each night, and I want them to feel free to come to talk to us anytime they want about school, friends and work (gotta keep the lines open as long as they still WANT to talk to you!). However, I dont feel like I have my own space anywhere! Yes, I am thankful they are at home still and know that one day they will be gone.

Money is also an issue, so I can't just add on my own room with a heavy duty dead-bolt :) which is what my hubby and I really need to avoid the pounding on the locked door and the little one trying to look under it when we get a rare night alone.

So basically, my question seems to be 2-part: I need alone, recharge-my-batteries-and-personal-growth-time AND and I need marriage time with my love.

Answer 1

I agree you do need time for yourself and with your husband, and why not tell the kids just that, It is not out of the question, and surly to gosh you aren't embarrassed, Just tell them your bedroom is off limits and if there is no blood on the floor do not disturb you when you and your husband are in your room. If they do not get it be a little graphic. they need to know you have feelings too

Answer 2

I feel your pain. I have two toddlers, a 4year old and a 2 year old. I barely find time for myself and my husband gets neglected all the time. Recently I had figured out some ways that has helped us spend more time together and for my self to get some alone time. As you already know being a parent you have a lot of cleaning to do. I tell my children to play in their rooms while I do my laundry or dishes, etc. Some times it works. Sometimes I tell them Mommy needs some alone time so that I am refreshed and awake to play games with you or even being able to read books. I am lucky enough to have my partner help me out sometimes with the kids so I can get a break. If your children has a TV in their rooms put on their favorite show and then there is at least 30 Min's to 1 hour with your partner. Being a parent you really don't have time to your self. If finances is a issue you are not able to afford a babysitter. These are only a few suggestions that work for me and maybe they can work for you. I hope this helps you out. Good luck

Answer 3

do you have any nearby relatives, sisters, mother someone that
would be willing to watch the critters so you and your husband
can take off for a night?? You don't have to go far, find a cheap
hotel in a nearby town and just go. Trade off with your friends
who are in the same situation, trade off your kids
at their place for a night so you can have the house alone with
hubby, in return, do the same for them. Be creative, you can
find a way to get some alone time that you seriously need.

Answer 4

Can a family member watch the kids for a night? How about a close friend? You never said how old your kids were. Earlier bed times could be a start.

Answer 5

hi relax, for a physically powerful relation there arnt any parameters defined, so in case you sense that your relation is stable without speaking then dont worry, and dont get pissed off because it quite is going to ruin the forged on your recent relation, be pleased and dont combat unneccesarily,I even have long gone via it and that i've got lost the main perfect guy or woman in my existence coz of this and that i dont opt for absolutely everyone to lose a physically powerful relation, do even if yet enable ur own shortcomings smash the relation, god bless you, the different sugegstions do message me in case you wanna

Answer 6

Is this the right place to get help with Linux/Unix umm SSH and Telnet?

Answer 7

You are parents, that is life. Sorry but if you can not deal with it, you should of not had kids.

Answer 8

So do it.