My boyfriend wants to......?

Question

have anal sex!

help - do ya think i should do it!!
I'm kinda scared, we tried it before but it hurt so bad - any advice on making it less painfull.

Answer 1

Before we embark on the journey to pleasurable anal sex techniques, let's for a moment focus on a few things that should be addressed first. While many of us find condoms to be a nuisance, health care professionals highly recommend for a variety of health reasons, that you always use condoms during anal sex. For those of us that hate condoms because of a reduced sensitivity during intercourse, The Japanese company Okamato (who also make the popular brand name Beyond Seven condoms) have come to the rescue, with the introduction of Crown Condoms. This is the thinnest condom on the market and much less noticeable than other condoms. Just like the box says: "it's the closest thing to nothing at all". It is also recommended that a lubricant be used when practicing anal sex. We generally recommend Astroglide, as its versatile and very reliable. The third item that you might want to have on hand before taking the leap into the pleasures of anal sex is something small to insert, such as a Small Love Plug, to exercise the muscle and get comfortable with the concept before moving on to the real thing (we'll discuss this technique further as we get into the details below).


Anal sex is not experienced exclusively by gay men; it is a facet of our collective sexual identity which has been explored by previous cultures and continues to be explored today. Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an alternative to everyday lovemaking. Its not for everyone, but anal sex may be what you're looking for if you want to try something completely different.

A Few TipsIf you and your partner are ready to try anal sex, here a few pointers.

Go Slow. When trying anal sex trust and relaxation are essential.
Use Lubricant. We recommend something like Astroglide. Use it liberally.
Only use toys with a flared base. If you're going to be using an anal toy, make sure it has a flared base so that it does not become lodged in the rectum. An excellent anal toy is the Big Flirt. It's made from silicone which is extremely hygienic and ultimately provides the best sensations.
Why do people enjoy anal sex?

Anal sex is enjoyable because of the rich body of nerve endings in the anus. While people often experience pain when first attempting anal sex, as a person learns to relax, the pain often subsides into pleasure. For men, anal sex also offers stimulation to the prostate, an organ that provides the rush of pleasure during orgasm. Anal sex for many seems like a taboo activity, and much of society still shuns it. But statistics show that roughly 35% of heterosexuals and 50% of the gay community practice anal sex at least occasionally.

How can I enjoy anal sex?

Tips for beginners

To prepare yourself for anal sex, the first thing to do is learn to relax. This may include a hot bath beforehand, an erotic massage or even just a good workout. Remember that the sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you relax and take it slow. Do not start with something the size of a dildo or penis. Start with either: a) your partner's finger or b) Small Love Plug. The plug provides a unique sensation and many couples consider it an exciting addition to the bedroom. If you're more comfortable with a partner's finger then start with that. The basic principle is to start small and work your way up.

One partner should lubricate or place a lubricated condom over his or her finger. Take the finger and arouse the surface of the anus, perhaps making small circular motions as you go. Always pay attention to your partner to indicate whether or not he or she feels comfortable. Slowly attempt to push your finger (or plug) slightly inside the anus. Do not use force - stop immediately if your partner complains of discomfort. If it is difficult to enter the anus, you probably need more lubrication. The first time you try this, the receiver may feel a bit of pain. Anal sex is not for everyone, and if you feel uncomfortable stop and perhaps try again later. Think of this process as training for later anal encounters. Even a finger can provide intense stimulation when it is inserted in the anus.

Once you have tried penetration with a finger a number of times then you can move towards something that is a bit larger. First you have to decide on what type of anal stimulation that you enjoy. Do you enjoy the movement of a finger, the fullness of a plug, or the feeling of entry and withdrawal? You may wish to proceed by being penetrated with your partner's penis or by using an anal toy. For those who enjoy the feeling of penetration more than motion or vibration, try butt plugs which are designed specifically for this purpose. A ********* sits inside the anus, and is not generally used for thrusting back and forth. If a plug interests you, we suggest the Big Flirt. This beautiful toy is made of pure silicone and features a graduated design. The texture is unrivalled. It's soft but resilient and retains body heat. You won't find a better plug. We're confident you'll love the feel of this toy.

How can I make anal sex safer?

Anal sex can be a perfectly safe activity as long as you take the necessary precautions. You should remember that your anus and rectum do not have their own natural lubrication nor the kind of elasticity the mouth and vagina enjoy. That is why anal sex must be practiced with care. There are three things that should always be used whenever anal penetration is taking place; lubrication, condoms and common sense. Liberal amounts of lubrication are necessary because the rectal wall can be quite sticky and is subject to tearing and lesions if not kept lubricated. (Our favorite is Astroglide) In addition, the anus and rectum are narrow, so lubrication is needed to press inside smoothly. Condoms are another necessity. Enemas, douches and other cleaners will not be able to get all the germs and bacteria out of the rectum. Not only is anal sex facilitate the transmission of STDs better than any other form of sex, it can also cause urinary tract infections and other bacterial diseases. Latex protection is essential, and can offer additional slickness. Finally, use your common sense. The rectal wall curves and is thin so long, hard objects can tear your insides. Don't wear any jewellery on your hands, and cut your fingernails if you are going to put your finger in someone's anus. Most importantly, respect your body. Don't push the limits and go only as far as you feel comfortable.

Positions to try

The best positions for anal sex depend largely on what stage you and your partner are at in your experiences. Rear entry or the "doggie style" position is the one position most people associate with anal sex. However, rear entry allows a penis or anal toy to penetrate most deeply, and may not be the best choice for the beginner. A good starting position is the "spoons" position, with each partner laying on his or her side, one behind the other. This prevents the penetrating partner from going too fast, and allows complete control over penetration. It also brings you closer to your partner, making it easier to judge his or her reactions to what you're doing.

Another position for anal sex is a variation of the missionary position. The receiving partner lays on his or her back while the penetrating partner approaches from on top. The penetrating partner lifts up the calves or shins of the receiver, exposing the anus. This can be an especially intimate position, with both partners facing each other. The ‘top’ partner can masturbate the other and is open to massage and cuddling as well.

Finally, rear entry offers another possibility for anal penetration. This position allows the penetration to be the deepest, and permits the receiver to better open the anus for entry. Rear entry doesn't offer the kind of intimacy or ease of communication that the other positions do, but for more advanced lovers, can offer the greatest amount of thrusting and penetration.

There are many more positions and techniques to try. Many people discover new and exciting positions through experimentation, and most people find the one that best suits them. Good communication is the key to such discovery, and a manual or video can help as well.

Want More Info?

Books and videos discussing back-door lovin' are now widely available. None are better than the Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women. We're warning you, this video is little raunchy at times, but it is one of few videos on the market that tackles the subject with warmth and honesty. Adult stars are lead through this topic by sex educator Tristan Taormino who eventually joins in the action. Lighthearted and educational, this video really delivers.

Answer 2

If you already tried it before .. then I wont discourage you ,,.. as you might have done it with full faith in him ...

To make it less painful .. Ask him to massage the "place" with oil (and lubrication) in his fingers .. initially slow and with just one finger ... and then gradually ask him to increase the number of fingers till you can take ...

A good grooming of the place will make it ready for the eventual pounding ..

FOLLOW UTMOST HYGENE while practising this .. wash yourself throughly before and after the act ...

Dont let him use his fingers and tools anywhere else in you as that might cause infection... germs and mucous present in the anal cavity are not supposed to spread to your other "Pleasure organs"

Once the hole is made flexible enough through finger massage, you can let him satisfy himself.

Have fun

Answer 3

You need to get some K Y warming gel and try going a little slower not to be in a rush and relax. maybe try a finger or two at first and keep working with objects lil bigger then try with his co ck. But, Remember just relax and go slow til you get use to having him inside of you. Anal sex is very injoyable is you do it slowly and relax and use plenty of lube too.

Answer 4

anal sex can be two things...if you truly are in love with the person and trust them it is the most amazing thing you will every expierence. but on the other hand if the love and affection is not there (like when i did it with my ex before i met my husband) you will feel cheap. i remember i cried for days, just because i felt like i was nothign by letting him do that. but i let my hubby do it once in a while and it is the total opposite.

Answer 5

You should try it. My girlfriend absolutely loves it. She even asks me for it every once and a while. What we do is start small in there, then work your way bigger. Start with a pinky and work your way up, using tons of lube. Just don't rush it and relax. Some girls actually find it very arousing. You should at least try a few times, and if you don't like it, he's SOL.

Answer 6

First off- if you want to do it than you have to relax in order to get into it. It will hurt the first time because you are a "virgin" back there. Use lots of lotion and take your time with it. Also- maybe if he starts by using his fingers instead- you will get use to the sensation and than maybe be more comfortable with it. Just take your time and make sure he understands that you do want it- you just want to go slow with it so you can enjoy it. If you aren't into it at all- just tell him that.

Answer 7

i have had anal sex before it does not hurt me you have to get used to it alot of women say it hurts once you do it it feels good but if you are scared then don do it. always do something knowing you are comfortable doing it or tell him to ease it in and go slow if you want to.

Answer 8

I read an article about it once, honestly. The article said that the man should rub the woman all over with baby oil first - her entire body. He should make sure he is totally erect and use baby oil on his penis. Then, when he tries, you push against him, not pull away. I don't know. That's what I read. Please don't report me for using the words that I did. I tried not to say anything improper.

Answer 9

Anytime you give a guy permission to cheat on you expect him to cheat, if he really loved you he wouldn't feel the need to fool around with someone else. Leave him and don't make the same mistake again next time

Answer 10

If you are under 18-NO! If you are older, use lots of lube, like K-Y Jelly. But don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. And watch out for std's!

Answer 11

if it's something you are interested in, you must first RELAX, use plenty of lubrication and stimulate the anal area first so it gets used to the sensation.