I am tired of feeling diassapointed and used in relationships. I am a nice girl, but I'm tired of being lied to, used, and abused in relationships. And nowadays, it seems like guys only want casual sex, so how can I learn to survive the dating jungle without being eaten alive? I really need to learn to seperate sex and emotion. And it's not like I'm out there being slutty, I have just had really bad luck with guys and I am tired of it. any suggestions on how I can harden my heart to the men nd not let them spoil me?
2006-10-12 16:59:43 · 16 answers · asked by Kanji 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go to church. Learn about life and true love and emotion. Sex is sex. Love is emotion. Once you have true love without sex, then you can have truly emotional sex
2006-10-12 17:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by DeWayne H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is overrated... where are you meeting these guys? But who am I to talk, as my first date with my wife ended up in casual sex. So there is always the possibility that a night on the town could be the love of your life, but I will agree, my scenario is probably not the norm. As a guy, I am most impressed by a woman that can get the most out of 24 hours, whether it be physical activity, pursuring a career, sharing a hobby, etc. I'm not going to lie, sex is fantastic, but the one I love makes me think about everything but that. So my suggestion is... find someone that strikes you emotionally, intellectually, mentally, or spiritually (if that suits you) and then chase all the sexual needs/wants after you've found an interest in the former. Good luck either way.
2006-10-13 00:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by overmars_wu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you feel used because you jump in bed before you establish a relationship. I totally believe that you would do a lot better if you found your soul mate and be totally in love rather than let the guys you as a tool for their personal relief. Plus... they don't even pay for it. Stop being a doormat, and get some attitude. I don't think you should try hard to separate sex from emotions. They actually belong together in a woman's psychological makeup. The common belief is nowadays that women who can love like a man are more fulfilled. Couldn't be farther from the truth. Reality check... whatever they promote on TV isn't necessarily reality, more like how they would want it to be. Don't be fooled by it, it will backfire on you or everyone else. Change your approach and you may find true love. Really!
2006-10-13 00:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait a very long time to have sex....look for signs (other than the obvious) about and when you are around the guy. does he just show up unannounced, does he act possessive after only a few dates, what are the stories he tells you about his past relationship...do they all place the blame on the other girl, or do they place to much blame on him but he "has learned his lesson" is he too polite at first then eases off way too much, is he wanting to go very fast, you should also date several guys at the same time because as my older brother told me once, a guy will ask what you want from a man, why you broke up etc and then try to be that for you til he gets his hooks in you, also it is very easy to become emotionally attached to a guy if he is the only one you are seeing. i am taking his advice this time and while i am not sleeping with anyone, i am having a great time. i am always honest up front about seeing others and with the exception of one or two that did not like that its been great. hope this helps.
2006-10-13 00:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can seperate sex from emotions by understanding your feelings for a guy before you have sex with them. If you don't like them don't sleep with them but thats a given.Some people think they love a person but they really are in love with the sex.If you wait a while before you are sexual with someone that will allow you to differ between love and lust. If a guy don't wait for you to understand your feelings and just wants to have sex he's not worth your time.Honey you are a woman and a lot of guys these days don't understand a womans worth. But if you play your cards right and don't give in to your hormones i believe you will find the right one that wants more than just casual sex.
2006-10-13 00:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by ray ray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had those feelings before too. I was in what seemed like a relationship leading to marriage and then all of a sudden he lost his compassion for me and became more moody.....turns out he started dating others without telling me. My emotions were in turmoil, not knowing what had caused this personality change in him. I started to view some of his behaviors....like leaving the bed at the crack of dawn with some excuse or very shortly after the customary minuites of hugs after sex.
I countered his behavior by not complaining, but began to think of ways I could separate my feelings while I would be at his house just so I could be stronger when he probably would prefer that I leave. After sex, I would make myself think....Oh man, how long do I need to hug him before I can get out of here, Ew, I hate his bed it is not as comfortable as mine or whatever.....Or when he would be at my house, I would lay in the bed next to him and run the thought through my head, "I wish he would just leave" "How can I get him out of her" I just forced what might have been the very same thoughts he was having. I just didn't have the ability at that time to face the full separation that breaking up with him would cause. But since I broke up with him, I now wait a longer period of time before I get intimate with a boyfriend......and many a man has walked away. But if you find a great guy who is ready to find a relationship that includes love and compassion, he will not have a problem with waiting.
2006-10-13 00:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by willyrabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just let them know that you don't want to have sex that night, if there nice then they will understand. I think sinse you have done it a lot guys look at you as there playmate, and so you need to change that. Go a few dates with out having it, and then hopefully the guys will give you the kind of respect you deserve.
Good luck.
2006-10-13 00:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Korri babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to a successful relationship for you is that you've to start thinking whit your mind and feeling whit your hearth and once for all stop thinking and feeling whit your pusssy ..nothing justify to be abused in any kind of relationship specially if you want to be loved not abused .I wish you the best and I hope you'll find the right man who can love you and respect you and appreciate you the way you deserve .
2006-10-13 00:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by danichris61 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't change yourself! Wait for the right guy, you don't need to sleep with everyone you date, if a guy is truly into you he will be willing to wait!! seperating sex and emotions could ruin any future relationships that are special!!
2006-10-13 00:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by Dana B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then don't fall for guys who just want a good hump. Learn to say no when they want sex
2006-10-13 00:14:31 · answer #10 · answered by John H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋