Advice for an ugly girl?

Question

hi everyone! i'm 25, single, and i never had a boyfriend before, ever! I am not good looking, i will say slightly below average, i'm slightly overweight, say about 110%.. just a little more then average. =)

I feel really lonely, my friends are all getting married, and i kept on waiting, i wish someone will love me like everyone else. I want to be attatch but no guys like me. I don't know what is wrong with me, i really have no clue. I feel so lost and depressed now but i try my best not to show it.

I consider myself a friendly person, i do have guy friends but they are just not interested in me romantically.

Someone please tell me what is wrong with me. I don't wish to end up single, and alone.

:'(

Answer 1

Maybe the problem is that you're not good at listening to what others are telling you. Sometimes people are so self-absorbed that they consciously or unconsciously reject the help that others are trying to give them.

I see that you've posted this question several times before. You've received a lot of helpful information already -- stop asking the question, and get busy improving yourself!

Answer 2

The first thing to do is convince yourself that you're beautiful.

Once you know that, you project it subconsciously and that attracts others.

I know it sounds kooky and if you don't really think you're pretty it's hard to do, but it's true.

I don't believe in "extreme makeovers" but some advice:
Start exercising more often - even if just once a week - it won't help immediately but you'll start seeing results after awhile. You can also try to opt for walking instead of driving/stairs instead of an elevator/changing the TV without the remote/etc. to help you get started.
Experiment with clothes - Lane Bryant's stuff is awesome - it's all about making it flattering and the sales people there definately know how to at least make you feel good about what you're wearing - even if you have no money its worthwhile to take a look around and try some stuff on, and then attempt to see what you can find at thrift stores, etc.
Find ways to meet people: Start a new hobby, don't be afraid to go places alone, see about arranging a party/evening out where everyone has to bring "new friends" along, pick up a part-time job, ask your family, etc.
Make yourself feel good: read books, write it out, take a bubble bath, take a vacation, paint, draw, sing - whatever you like to do, and if you can't think of anything start making a list!!
Most importantly to remember while you do this though: BE YOURSELF.

There's nothing wrong with you - you just need to take some time and see what you don't like about yourself and try and change it in a positive way so you do like it - don't do it for anyone else or to meet a guy - you have to do it for yourself first!

Answer 3

First I have to say is noone shouldn't not want to date you because your over weight. Second if you have a good self-esteem people will or most will over look the fact you are overweight and see you for you, third of all if you lose some weight not only should you have more self-esteem but you will be and stay healthy and not that this is right but then people will become more interested because they see you are trying to take care of your self. Here is something that happened to me. When I was in 6th or 7th grade I weighed 137, I was a bit pudgy, I had low low self esteem not only because my weight but because I was depressed from being in foster care and I had no friends I would always eat and walk alone and keep to myself, I did something terrible and I do NOT suggest or even want u to do what I did which was to become anerexic/belimic and I ran pe hard and I lost all that weight and people started noticing me it seemed. I started having friends then and my self esteem went way up once I got my disorder under control and then I started having dates and now I feel like a new person, hehe a good site or two to try is eharmony.com and militarysinglesconnection.com one other thing I would like to mention is that just because you may be overweight doesn't mean all hope is lost, when I was in school for medical assisting there was a girl my friend and she was way overweight but she had a personality that could blow anyone away and for the longest time she had more dates than me and the guys didn't think twice of her weight because her personality shined bright. I hope this helps some.

Answer 4

First of all being single at 25 is not a bad thing! Have you ever heard of the saying the grass is always greener on the other side? This means at times it seems that what we don't have is what would make us happy. Just because you feel ugly does not mean you are ugly. You've acknowledged you are overweight so the next step to take is to find a club to start working out and get yourself into what ever shape will make you feel better about your looks. There are fitness clubs that are for women only see if there is a Butterfly life in your area. This fitness center is for women only and you'll get alot of support from their staff and the other members. If you say you can't afford it think about this...take what ever money you would have spent on junk food and fork it over to your get fit bank account! What seems to be a common theme in your question is you have low self esteem well there is no magic wand or pill that will give it to you. It comes from hard work.And I know you can do it! Every aspect of your looks can be enhanced from your hair to the style of your clothes you just need to hook up with the right people to help you. Whether it's a clerk who works in a store or a hair stylist who makes others look their best. It would be a good start to go to a local bookstore and browse through the self help section...their are tons of books on how to build a positive self esteem...and many people who seem to have it all together have read some of these publications.You have to believe in yourself and put the time and effort into being the best you you can possibly be. I heard a saying once and I think it rings true...you are God's gift to the world what you become, what you do with your life is your gift too God....Remember, you are not ugly you may just be a late bloomer!

Answer 5

I can tell from the title and the content of the question that you don't have a lot of self esteem, and that's a shame that you feel that way because you say you have friends. Having friends is not a small thing! Don't treat it that way!

As far as lonliness goes, my heart goes out to you -- feeling lonely is not a fun thing, but please believe me you are not alone out there.

I have an idea for you: instead of looking at the supposed faults you say you have, look and dwell on the positives instead -- trust me, everyone has them (if you did not have any positives, then you probably would not have the friends you say you have). Also, please do not make the assumption that because no guys have asked you out already that they do not like you. One cannot know what anyone else is thinking -- try not to fill in the blanks.

One last thing: you are not abnormal for being single at your age (or any age, for that matter). I used to be married to an abusive spouse for 6 years -- believe me, there are worse things in the world than being single. Also, if the lonliness persists, do seek someone you can talk to -- it is not abnormal or shameful to do so, it just means that you admit to being human and it is actually brave to do so.

Answer 6

The first thing you need to do is to start to feel better about who you are. You maybe are sending signals of low self esteem, that's not very attractive. If you think these things about yourself people pick up on that even if outwardly you seem happy. If you think you are a little over weight try losing a few pounds. A very effective way to lose weight is to not eat anything 6-8 hour before bed. When you sleep you body puts food into storage (fat) and the average time it takes for your body to digest food and send nutrients into your system is 6-8 hours. Anything you eat late at night goes straight to storage because your body is in stand by mode when you are sleeping and uses very little energy. Try going out and meeting new people at the mall or in a nice dog park something other than a bar (bars are meat markets) Most of all think positive and keep a good attitude, you'll be ok.

Answer 7

Well sweetie, I'll give you this, you at least have the courage to face the fact that you are not as genetically gifted as some. Here is the honest hardcore truth. People are shallow and looks matter. Start saving some money. Get together about 500 dollars. Go to your local upscale department store and get a makeover. Have the counter girls give you a make up makeover. to help you make the most of what you have. Get a good hair cut that flatters you. And find someone to help you buy clothes that make you look your best. Watch that show on TLC where the guy and the girl make over people. It will give you ideas. Don't rule out plastic surgery. It is amazing what a good nose job, or chin lift can do for your face. I congratulate you on approaching this subject honestly.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with you, and although you have heard this hundreds of times before, I will say it again - you just haven't met the right guy yet. Oh, I will bet you've met plenty of guys, just not the ones meeting your standards. Don't settle just to have a man in your life, because your life after that will be one huge compromise. Try joining some groups that you are interested in, like the Sahara Club or some church-sponsored events for singles, or join a gym or YMCA. Enjoy your own company first, and others will follow.

Answer 9

First you need to feel better about yourself. Confidence is very attractive. Would it help if you lost weight? Try walking and go on a diet. If there's not a medical reason it should come of easy at your age. You're young so you can change most anything about your looks but you really need to focus on what's inside. If changing some things about your appearance will help, go for it.

Answer 10

Well whats wrong with you is that you don't believe that you are beautiful. Maybe you should get yourself into a gym with the intention of feeling better and then you will become happier when you begin to look better. Then get your hair done, get a new outfit and hit the town feeling amazing. People will notice and you will attract someone with your inner and outer beauty.