Can Anyone Who's "Been There, Done That" Tell Me What To Expect?

Question

I have a friend getting ready to go "over there", and who wants me to be there to see him off the day they leave. I want to be there to support him, and just because he asked me to; however, i'm so nervous. I am a really emotional person, and I hate saying goodbye, so I already know i'm probably going to end up crying...which is why I thought about not going. I feel like I should keep an upbeat attitude, and I don't want him to feel bad seeing me crying and stuff. Can anyone tell me what I can expect when/if I go to see him off? I guess i'm kind of wondering about the whole process...like what takes place? Thanks.

Really? See...that's exactly what i'm worried about.

By "over there" I mean he's deploying.

Answer 1

My brother is in the Navy, and has served 2 tours in Iraq thus far. Be supportive and go - our troups need all the support they can get. You won't be the only one crying - there usually isn't a dry eye in the place. Think about the fact that you are going to support him, and how proud you are that he is willing to do what he feels is right, even if many do not agree with him. That alone takes guts.
If there is something from home that you have that your friend can easily carry in his pocket, like a snapshot, small bible or a cross or something (if that would mean something to your friend, that is), give it to him when you see him off. And stay in touch. I sent care packages once per month. The postal service has boxes and tape they will give you free that you fill and you can put anything, no matter what the weight is, as long as it will fit, and mail it for around $7.75 , which is considerably less than any other shipping you can do. I usually put in toiletries, both male and female (he'd share and swap stuff with all his buddies, and could swap stuff with the girls, too, if he had stuff they'd want) - soaps, baby wipes, (yes, wipes - they use them on hands and face) shower gel, lotion, lots of lip balm, deodorant, Q-tips, saline eye drops, and nonperishable snack stuff (cheese and peanut butter crackers, nuts, jerky, granola, dried fruit, and lots of powdered drink mix (Gatorade, Koolaid, etc.). Send some Ziplock bags, too, so he can share easily. I also add word puzzle magazines, and easy, quick read books (short stories, Reader's Digest, etc) No porn - it gets confiscated and can get him in trouble. I also sent a box of Christmas cards and stamps, along with some addresses of family members he might not have. I knew he wanted to keep in touch, and felt isolated, and if he could send out cards he'd get more back, and it helped him feel a little more like he was still having a holiday. I sent a Christmas box with the usual stuff we always had as a kid - peanut brittle, hot choc. mix, cider mix, candies, fruit (I used fruit cups), mixed nuts, choc. covered cherries, candy canes. He really enjoyed it. I guess I still remember how horribly the Vietnam vets were treated - my husband came home and was spit on, and called horrible names. I hope that never happens again.

Answer 2

Well, it will be a busy day, and you're friend will probably be feeling very anxious (Especially if it's his first time). But he will be dissapointed if there is no support there to see him off. I was in the situation where half my unit was deploying and the rest of us were staying behind as support. I baked cookies the night before and took them to the airfield. There's a lot of sitting around and waiting, and this is a good time to ask him to take lots of pictures while he's there, and to promise that you'll write him and keep him informed of everything going on in your life. Everyone's gonna cry a little bit (unless he's a tough infantry soldier), but there's so much to do, (and so much time waiting) that it'll be hard to find the moment to shed tears.

Answer 3

Been there done that twice. My husband left July 06 for Afghanistan. Don't worry about crying. It's natural. The main thing is that you are there to show support for him. Do it for him. I don't know where he is leaving from but it doesn't matter, the airport or military base it's all the same. There will be a time when they pick up their gear and head out. If possible, keep eye contact and then go home and cry your eyes out. Send him email every day. It makes the time go faster for both of you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Don't worry about crying, a lot of people will be crying. Especially wives with children. It is okay. Usually there are buses or planes waiting at the site they are leaving from. The troops will usually have some type of formation and then get told we are leaving in xx amount of time, be ready and then everyone just sits around and talks and stuff. He asked you to be there, you should go he obviously wants you there. Good luck!

Answer 5

I have bot been there and done that....exactly. But I kind of felt this way when I took my daughter to college for the first time. In my opinion, you should go, no matter what. I'm sure he realizes you may cry, that would only show him how much you care and are going to miss him. I'm sure he would rather you cried than "pushed him out the door laughing". If you know what I mean. You can always smile through your tears. Think about the next time you'll see his face. Good luck and God Bless both of you.

Answer 6

Tears are normal, you won't be the only one crying. When I left my wife and kids were crying and to make matters worse, the bus sat there for 5 min which felt like an eternity. They were crying and I was doing my best not to cry not that it would have been a big deal. Basically what I'm saying is, go, support him, let him know you care.

We sat in the chow hall on base for about 30 min with our families and friends waiting for the bus to get there to take us to the aircraft. It was nice to have that time but it didn't make it any easier when it came time to get on the bus to go. I'm sure what goes on is probably similar in most cases.

Answer 7

the subsequent time she asks you what you're turning out to be her for her birthday, only tell her "the comparable as you purchased me". possibly which will make her end and picture. pals do no longer anticipate 'favours' back. a chum will do something for you out of the goodness of their heart and because they care approximately you. And no. She isn't an rather effective individual and can't think of why you're able to think of she is. She is a backstabbing tightwad.

Answer 8

Wish your friend well and pray for them. Chances are that your friend will return to you unharmed because despite what the looney lefties say, the odds of being hurt or killed are no worse than they are on the streets of any major city in the world, and even better than some.

Answer 9

this one is tough..i had to do that with my sister. but, you suck it up and show your support for them. they probably deep down dont want to go over there any more than you want them to. But, most of them understand thats the name of the game. you support your friend and then you let it all out.

Answer 10

being there for he well help ease him some what?he will be happy to see you there.when i got deployed i had family there. haveing them there helped ease my mind by knowing that my family is there and will support me. i hope that helps you if not you can email me at [e-mail]