Spanking or No Spanking?

Question

I'm a stay at home mother and taking online courses through University of Phoenix. I'm doing a research paper on Child Discipline. I would like to here other people opinion on 'Spanking' whether or not its appropriate. This just helps me get started on my research. Thank you.

Just to let others know, I am against spanking. I consider it to be violent, hitting devalues the child, hitting may lead to abuse, children are more likely to anxious and aggressive in later life. Thank you for all your opinions. This really helps.

I was too spank numerous times with the belt. I remember when I was 10 an continuously misbehaving and getting spankings all the time, but I didn't care. When I got a little older, I started showing violence towards other kids in school. Like hitting. I was in an ustabled environment at that time at home and was the youngest out of all the three sibling I had. As I was growing up, I never wanted to be like my parents nor my siblings. Now, I'm married and have a wonderful 1 year oldson, and want to show him the right path in life in a positive way. Doing research on child develoment and behavior as well child psychology has helped a lot. I'm having so much fun with my son and with all the development that he is going through and helping him to be a healthy happy child in a positive environment that he is in.

Answer 1

you have it backwards. my parents spanked me and my older brother but not my younger brother. guess which one hits his little sister every day? my younger brother. not spanking teaches them that they can get what ever they want and there is no other efective punshment. time outs and taking away toys or game just dont work, they find something else to do and move on. also the bible says spare the rod spoil the child. and if it is done right it is not "violent" and it does not "devalue the child" i have also seen in the way other kids at church and in schools act, and if you ask them i they get spakned, the ones who are always in trouble dont get spakned at home, the ones who get along with anyone and every one do get spanked. you may not pick my answer as best, but spanking is the only way to punsh kids. it works.

Answer 2

I know people strongly disagree on this subject. I am a parent who spanks. Spank--not beating. What you described happened to you was beating. And I am sorry about that--in fact that sort of thing makes me sick.

Althought some people think I am oversimplistic--I think there is way too little spanking--and I believe it is an important component of raising and instilling discipline in children.Although this is a stupid analogy--a paddle does a good job of keeping the boat headed in the right direction.

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents. If you are interested in seeing details on these studies there is a blog entry buried on my blog called "A Critique of the Anti-Spanking Research."

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong

Answer 3

I'm not a parent but I was definitely spanked as a child. A lot of people say "no spanking" nowadays, and it would be nice if you could always reason a chid into good behavior, but (again not being a parent) I'm sure there are times when children do things and are out of control enough that they deserve spankings. I know that as a child, it certainly made me pay a lot more attention than simply being told "no". So if they keep ignoring "no" then.....
But I am not a psychologist.

The most important when using something as powerful as spanking is making sure it is used correctly. My parents were good enough parents that I never felt they didn't love me or give me enough attention even when they spanked. If you are going to spank then you also need to show a lot of attention and love to balance. If a parent just gives a child to the television all day, doesn't show them much affection, AND spanks them... that is not a good combination.

It is also very important to only spank for very serious transgressions. And it should be done in a purposeful way, not just out of a parent's anger spurt.

Basically, the most important thing about the spanking is that it is done appropriately. I think it can be beneficial and balance a child out if used correctly.

A parent that has established a connection with the child, who loves them, who has put the child's lives and interests above the parent's own, who gives them attention, may spank. A parent that hasn't done the above should never do so.

Answer 4

The idea that spanking a child teaches them that violence is the way to proceed is nonsense. Children are smart enough to understand that a spanking is a specific act done for a specific reason. The fact that every anti-spanker has the same answer is the best evidence that it's incorrect. At the same time, spanking should be relatively infrequent. If a parent is finding themselves giving a spanking 3 times a week, I think you could make the case they are handling their children incorrectly. The best thing you can do is BE FIRM with children so that they are far more likely to comply with rules and "orders." Stop giving kids THEIR choice on all matters. They aren't old enough to do that and you teach them a very bad lesson...you teach them that the world revolves around them as opposed to teaching them that their actions and decisions affect others around them. Children will comply if you tell them what to do and expect it to happen. Example: "John, go clean your room." Bad example, "John, are you ready to clean your room now?" They will always take the easiest and most enjoyable choice. Young people need to be directed SO THAT they develop the ability to make good decisions as they grow. Then, once that mode of operation is in place, when a child openly defies a rule or refuses to comply, that's when a spanking can justifiably be given.

Answer 5

Getting beat with a belt is not spanking, it's beating. All this secular non sense about spanking leading to violence or "dehumanizing" a child is a load of buffalo chips. You cannot reason with a small child, they haven't got the ability to reason the way we do. They only understand pain and pleasure. If you don't spank a child, you will get the kind of irresponsible adults that we have today. This Dr. Spock approach has created several generations of degenerate adults who have no morals, no respect for the law, and have no ethics. Go ahead and raise another generation of little Hitlers, even Dr. Spock lamented what he had done. If you murder someone, the courts won't sit down with you and reason with you, if you get caught speeding, the cop won't give you a time out in a naughty chair. If you don't teach a child that there are absolute truths and consequences to actions, you have failed as a parent.Violent bahavior comes from parents, especially the fathers, who don't teach and lead thier children, it doesn't come from getting a spanking.

Answer 6

I was spanked as a child, and if I ever have children of my own, I will spank them as well. I never feared my parents, I was never abused, my self-esteem is intact, but I promise you I never did anything I got spanked for twice! The decline in spanking is exactly the reason there are so many spoiled, obnoxious, out of control children running around these days. I'm not saying it's okay to beat kids, but a firm swat on the backside never hurt anybody, and it gets the point across a lot better than lecturing. My mother does daycare, and I've watched parents drop off or pick up their children, and spend twenty minutes trying to persuade the child to put on his shoes/coat/whathaveyou, while the child is flopping around screaming like an idiot. And what does the mother do? "Come on honey. Honey, I mean it. Please? Honey, please put it on. Now. Honey, we need to go. Honey..." And what does the kid do? Ignores her, or screams louder. Did they get spanked? No. And I've watched kids grow from 6 weeks old to 4 years old, screaming, whining, and being in total control of mommy dearest. I promise you, a good spanking would have straightened out that nonsense right away.

And to whoever wrote the thing about the cops pulling someone over... that system works because it is used on rational intelligent adults. You are told if you speed, the cops will pull you over and fine you. You speed, they pull you over and fine you. You understand why, and if you're smart, you don't do it again. You can't charge a 4 year old child $100 for hitting his sister. Not only does he not have $100, but he doesn't have a good grasp of money yet. What you can do is say, "If you hit her, you're going to get spanked." He hits her anyway, he gets spanked, which offers the psychological equivalent of losing $100, and you know what? He'll probably not do it again any time soon.

Besides, if you take a look at international crime rates, crime is lowest in places where immediate corporal punishment is still the law. Maybe our cops SHOULD be allowed to give speeders a good whack.

Answer 7

Yes. I believe spanking are appropriate if given properly. For instance, Make sure the child understands why they are receiving the spanking before it is given. You should never spank a child out of anger. You spank a child as a learning tool and also as a last resort. Children have a mind of their own and are in learning phase all their young lives.
Never go overboard with a spanking. Know when to stop. Just because a child doesn't cry doesn't mean you keep spanking them until they do cry.
Last , shortly after a spanking you should approach the child and ask them questions such as what they should have done different. What have they learned from this spanking . Also how it affects you to have to give a spanking. Does it make you feel bad. Does it hurt you. etc.

Answer 8

Spanking is hitting and it teaches children that it is ok to hit others. Usually it is used by people who can not think of alternative methods. It is an immediate resonse that does not teach a child anything about self discipline. Spanking a child does nothing to provide a child with good problem solving skills. It is a short term solution and does not meet any long term goals for the child. If you want your child to learn how to be a bully or a victim......spanking is the way to go.

Answer 9

I believe in spanking as long as thats what it is SPANKING not ABUSE or "WHOOPINS",God nothing is more disgusting to me seeing someone smacking their poor childs bottom in public asking if they want another "whoopin". If you spank your child all the time for everything it will have no purpose or meaning and lead to self destruction. My parents spanked me for serious offenses,none of which I ever repeated.I dont believe spaking should be done on the bare bottom or in public.Some kids dont need spanking,some do.It really depeds on the child and spanking should never be done in anger.I am a parent to one child who is still a toddler but there are certain offenses when he gets older that will be an automatic spanking such as stealing,lying and cheating. Some things just have to be stopped right away.

Answer 10

I believe spanking is appropriate. I was spanked as a child and it only taught me to listen to my parents and to be obedient. Yes it is true you can teach SOME children to do this without spanking. Time outs SOMETIMES work. Sometimes kids don't listen when you try and "talk" to them. But I believe as long as you are not abusing your child throwing them down steps, breaking bones or anything like that a spank on the bottom or on the hand does not hurt them it only teaches them right from wrong and teaches them fear. I don't mean fear like you are scared of Jason or Freddy Kruger but fear like you would think twice about doing something when you knew consequences, like your parents yelling at you or giving you a spanking. If you were a child and all your parents did was put you in time out for a few minutes and "talk" to you about what you did wrong, you would go right back and do the same thing again because to some children that is no punishment. Punishments are for you to remember so when you think about doing the same thing again you will remember what happened last time you did that. That is what is wrong with kids today, they are not scared of anything they think that no one can touch them and that they are invincible.