How can I help my sister?

Question

She is 23 and a single mother. She suffers from moderate Bipolar Disorder which causes her to act very impulsively. She's smart, has a great job, is sweet-natured, and is absolutely beautiful.

She could "have any man she wants" (sorry if that sounds offensive). But for some reason she keeps going with guys who abuse her, or drink heavily, or smother her with jealousy. Our brothers and parents can't do anything about this, except possibly offer her advice she might listen to.

So does anyone have any of that much-needed advice?

Answer 1

Could she be going with this type of guy because of low self esteem? Women who go with or stay with abusers usually do not think that they deserve any better. It could be an off shoot of her bipolar disease. Has she changed her meds?
Just a thought. I do know that abusers so demean a woman that they have her convinced that no one else would want them, so they stay. That's the way it was with my cousin. It wasn't until he started abusing (physically) the kids that she packed them up and left.
I hope someone is able to get her to see that she is SO much better than that so that she can take better care of herself, and a better mother - and role madel - for her child.

Answer 2

Is your sister being treated for her bipolar condition? You said that she acts impulsively because of it and that is probably why she makes poor choices in her love life. Is she a good, devoted mother to her child? You might tell her that the best thing she can do for her child is to be a good and caring mother. Part of that includes keeping herself safe both physically and emotionally. If the abuse to her happens in the presense of her child, she is also guilty of abuse if she lets herself be in that kind of relationship. She has a lot going for her and she does not need to get involved with people who are so insecure that they do all those things that you mentioned. When you become a mother you need to put your child first even though you are still young and should have a personal life, too. A single parent has one of the hardest jobs in the world because they have to try and give their child enough love and attention to make up for them not having 2 parents.

Answer 3

BiPolar disease means she has a disorder that gives her both extreme moods of either being up or down. She has no control over these feelings, however, it can be controlled to some extent with medication. People that are bipolar can become very irrational and even a danger to themselves and others. Although some people diagnosed with this can lead normal lives with the proper medicines, others lead a difficult life. Many times these individuals are not in their right minds and can be very misunderstood by the general population. I suggest you find a local support group through your community mental health agency--Alliance for the Mentally Ill. This will put her in contact with people of similar illness, to help her cope with herself, children and living. If you really want to help her and her children, lead her there. Unfortunately, bipolar or mentally ill individuals can sometimes find themselves in self-destructive situations and of course, attract the same---which is what this sounds like in your paragraph. Often they are more prone to alcohol and drug abuse due to the nature of their illness. God bless you for helping your sister and good luck.

Answer 4

I don't want to cause you any more grief, than u have right now. But somebody has to take a serious step in getting her help. My sister Eileen was in that type of relationship. She met him here in Halifax NS. I was very young but I remember it clearly. He gave her a couple of black eyes, but said he was sorry. She ended up marrying the Bastard and they moved to Toronto,Ont. My parents were both dead, so after a few months she called my sister and she sent her the money to come home. Like your sister, Eileen was very attractive. After a few weeks , she had to go back, because he loved her. This happened 2 more times, the 3rd time when she went back, he killed her. So, please get help for her , share my letter with your parents and tell them just how dangerous the situation is. For openers, she suffers from very low self esteem. You said she is beautiful, and you're probably asking yourself, "Low self esteem , that's crasy," I can't explain it, but that is the 1st step. For all your sakes, I wish you all the best, Love from Doug, a Canadian friend

Answer 5

It sounds like your sister has some esteem or confidence issues. My SIL is very much the same. Young, gorgeous, intelligent, but spends her time with losers because it's basically a way to avoid any sort of difficulty or failure.

Your sister probably does it for a similar reason. It's really easy to avoid disappointment when you spend your time with people that are going nowhere.

Answer 6

She needs to find herself love herself and most of all get to a point of acceptance with her disorder bipolar disorder effects you in so many ways and it definetly makes for impulsive behavior and the guilt she feels is probally really effecting her be supportive and love her . Iwill be praying for her

Answer 7

How is her self esteem? That may be why she keeps going for the wrong guys...she does not value herself as a person. Beauty fades so help her to develop a strong sense of self.

Answer 8

You're sister has low self esteem, and probably a penchant for "bad boys". You need to tell her to pick the kind of guy for herself, that she would want to see you with, or her own daughter one day. It's kinda unfortunate, but when you have a child to take care of, you have to look for guys who are "daddy material".

Answer 9

I know what you mean, one of my friends has the same problem...and what you need to do is just watch out for her and help her make better choices and when she asks for help (which she will) just be a great sister and do the best you can.

Answer 10

Prayers