My partner is 11 years older than me and he has never been married and he doesn't have any kids. We get along great, we are best mates but now I think I want to get married and have kids, but I don't know how to hint to him that I want this, but at the same time not scare him away.
I am 24 and he is 35.
Could someone plesae help.
2006-10-12 14:26:17 · 13 answers · asked by JO K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't hint hon....just ask him. If it scares him away- th en he isn't the kind of man you want or need in your life.
If you have communication that is good enough that you want to marry, then you have good enough communication to ask him.
Also him not being married at the age of 35- just might mean he NEVER intends to get married. I don't care how much you love him.....if he isin't what you want then end it and look elsewhere. You will get over him.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many divorices?
It is becasue people get married for romantic love and they don't have common goals in life.
If you compermise yourself to be with him, the two of you will be misserable in the future.
You need to let him know what your expectations of the future is and he needs to do that same. Four year is a long time to date and not mention marriage. Speak up girl!!
Don't let a man define you?
2006-10-12 14:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he probably thinks that if nothings broken why fix it. In other words if you two are getting along great why do you have to get married. I don't think there is any way to just hint about this. I think you have to ask him straight out or you could be waiting until you're 35 or 40 and still unmarried. Asking him could be a risk but if ultimately you want to be married and have kids and if that isn't his same goal better that you find out now.
2006-10-12 17:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been w/ him for 4 years. You two know each other pretty well. You say that you get along great and are best mates. You certainly should be able to talk with him about anything. My idea would be to call him on the phone and ask him to come to your home for dinner (or if you are already living together tell him you want to have a special dinner with him). Sometime during or after dinner let him know that there is something serious that you want to talk with him about. Then just be honest with him and let him know what your feelings are and where you would like to see your relationship with him go.
2006-10-12 14:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have heard this saying many times over, when you get the milk for free, why buy the cow. Four years is a time that you should be talking about marriage if it is something he is interested in. You need to bring it up with him. In fact, you should have been talking about it after the first year so you would know his feelings on marriage. If that is something important to you and not to him, then you are wasting your time being with him. Good luck.
2006-10-12 14:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother hinting; if he wanted to marry you he would have asked already - four years is a very long time. He is too old for you = that is too big of an age difference. If you want to get married and have kids, find someone nearer your age. - sorry, know it's probably not what you wanted to hear...
2006-10-12 14:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should feel comfortable enough to talk to your boyfriend about what you're feeling. Who knows, maybe he's the one that doesn't want to pressure you, since you are still young. Let him know that you've been thinking about it. What do you have to loose? He can either say "ya, I can't wait to get married, lets do it!" or he can give you the hint that his intentions are not to get married... which you NEED to know, right? So, I say, you waited four years... long enough... NOW IT'S TIME TO TALK!!!!
Good luck!
2006-10-12 14:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by Tania 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my suggestion is to let it happen naturally. if he wants to marry you, you won't need to hint anything. if you start throwing hints out there about marriage, it might scare him away. have you guys ever talked about marriage or kids? what was his response if you have? was it positive or negative? from past conversations, you will be able to know what future plans he has regarding these issues. hope it works for you
2006-10-12 18:22:24 · answer #7 · answered by dream 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just told him on our let's see 6th anniversary of dating.....he said jokingly jeez how long has it been....I said 6 yrs....He said holy crap...and i said yeah....you know I'm not going to be your girlfriend forever... It was all very light-hearted as we both knew we were going to be married at some point. He proposed to me about 3 months later... and a year and a half after that we were married!
2006-10-12 18:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by bluearia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as a guy i think it is so sweet you want to ask him good for you......just sit him down and just ask him how he feels about getting married ask him how long he would want to wait your not asking to marry you your just seeing if he is ready at least you will know and you wont scare him offjust dont be pushy...good luck i hope what ever why you do it works out for you
2006-10-12 14:32:19 · answer #9 · answered by dogfaceboy626 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know you're both ready, then you can start hinting.
Just point out rings in jewelry stores more often. Comment on womens' engagment rings. "Accidentally" leave advertisements for jewelry open.
Or, just tell him. That works too. :-)
2006-10-12 14:41:58 · answer #10 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋