Refuse to get married and have kids.....?

Question

I recently had a co-worker who said he refuses to get married and have kids because he considers it a rat race (financially and socially) in today's America and that he doesn't want to be a sole-provider so a woman can use procreation as an excuse to not work for the next 15-20 yrs. If you knew someome like this what would you think of him and what social problems and stigmas do you think he will face during his life. He is 26 yrs old.

Answer 1

Maybe he is really gay and doesn't want to admit it.

Answer 2

my boyfriend isn't as zealous as your friend but he feels the same way--at least about kids. he might have had a really bad childhood where his dad blamed every problem on him and his siblings. the fact that he is 26 years old, some men are looking to settle down, but plenty more are still wanting to enjoy their 20's til they almost 40-- if you know what i mean. he probably never had a good relationship, or felt REAL LOVE, or real connection with a woman yet, so it's easy for him to say "i never want to get married or have kids"... I think in a few years, when he's grown up and has met the right person, he might change his mind. And maybe as he sees his friends grow up, settle down, and get married and have a family, he might think one day that it's time for him to start thinking about that sort of thing. I wouldn't think too bad of him, he's just not mature enough to go through with something like that... and that isn't necessarily a bad thing :)

Answer 3

I think it's great that he is vocal about not wanting children. It saves a woman from dating him to only find out later his plans and her plans for life don't match. He has his opinions, and if a woman thinks he can be changed, then she obviously did not listen to him.

As far as stigmas, I don't see that many ramifications put on people who do not have families. Maybe divorce rates are up because society is more centered on the hip styled lifestyle a single man like him will live.

Some people don't want to be parents, and maybe there is a reason they should not as well. I can't berate a person who would not love the experience of being a parent as I do. I enjoy motherhood, but it's not every ones cup of tea.

Answer 4

My boyfriend was never getting married and NEVER having children (for completely unrelated reasons).We are now married with a child he adores.

Sometimes people change their minds. Others just know that they don't desire to have children. As long as they're honest to any potential future mates, that's fine with me. It's their choice. I'd rather have someone make the conscious and responsible decision to not bring unwanted children into this world than to feel that they have to have children to conform to society, and end up resenting them.

He's going to have to deal with a LOT of people asking why he's not married and why he's not having kids, and what's wrong with him, and when is he going to start growing up, and blah blah blah. Possibly guilt trips from parents, relatives, etc. But, quite honestly, it's no one else's business so long as he doesn't lie to any significant others.

I'm curious about one thing...does he not want to get married because he doesn't want to have kids? Or is the not getting married a completely separate issue? Because you don't have to have kids just because you get married. Plenty of people are happy and fulfilled being married WITHOUT kids.

Answer 5

i don't care he's a guy whom had a tragic upbringing that's why he made his slender minded opinion.i think of human beings could desire to get married if it s for them yet whilst they have detrimental emotions approximately it because of the fact of there upbringing transformations ppl comments approximately marriage. if ppl have been pronounced in a tragic marriage abode carry they're going to be bitter approximately marriage and criminal accountability , yet those whom stay the comparable way of existence is quite not became against marriage in any respect. he could of had a father whom complained approximately working all of the time and that what his mom does isn't artwork yet sitting around on herass staring at value is stable and etc. some adult men have that opinion of a stay at abode spouse that they are lazy and don't do not something all day mutually as they convey abode there tests and blah blah.. do not worry approximately his stigmas do exactly not enable different ppl's comments turn you off of marriage.. An may be you're able to desire to drop this slender minded co-worker as chum at artwork and keep it organization.

Answer 6

it's his choice. Maybe he'll change his mind someday and maybe he won't.

I wouldn't worry about it unless I had some romantic and/or physical interest in him, in which case his position is pretty clear. Does it matter if a road is a dead end? Only if you want to get somewhere on the other side.

Answer 7

LOSER....he has a sour view on family life, I didnt have kids so I could not work, I had them because I wanted them.
Hes better off not being married or having kids anyways...he would be a tight wad with money and that would suck!
Poor him.

Answer 8

Hi,
Interesting opinion. Instead of seeking the opines of faceless, nameless strangers, perhaps you should be asking HIM why he feels this way. Open up the dialogue with him.... You might learn something interesting.

Answer 9

Frankly, he's a worthless waste of oxygen.

Men who talk like that are just upset that they can't get laid, and they take it out on everyone else. Odds are, he'd never be good to anyone he's with. He's not even worth the effort to tell him he's wrong.

Answer 10

if he doesnt, then what is he going to do with his life? who will keep him company when hes old? he will eventually get bored because without a family what do u strive for? not many women are going to want to be with him if he doesnt want kids or a wife. he will wind up old and alone. he will be sorry in the end.

Answer 11

I wouldn't care as long as he lets his girlfriends know that he is adament about not getting married and being a father. His reasons suck but they are his reasons.