I have a neighbor who was badly in need of maternity clothes. Well, I have lots (and I'm not currently pregnant, I just had my baby), so I loaned her mine. So she's been wearing them. In fact, I almost never see her with anything but my clothes on. But then a few days ago, I noticed a huge (!) bleach stain on one of my shirts! And then, a day later, another ketchup (I think) stain on some white pants! AND, then today, yet another bleach stain! Now, I am not made of money in such a way that I can go buy myself a whole new maternity wardrobe when my next baby comes along! HOW can I tell her (without being too mean) that I need to get these things back ASAP before she RUINS anything else? And am I just being selfish, or is that rude to stain up clothing that someone loaned to you?
2006-10-12 13:15:12 · 12 answers · asked by littlenicky 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Does she know they were just a loan? If that's clear, then I think she owes you some clothes! If they were mine, I would ask her nicely to take a little better care of them, or ask for them back, say you need them yourself. Of course, it depends, how good a friend is she? If she's a really good friend, she should make good without hassle. If she's just a neighbor, you probably better get the stuff that isn't ruined back. I've developed a really thick skin on hints like that myself: I just don't loan. I actually had an acquaintance ask me for my 'small' clothes - to fit her since she'd got so fat. Funny thing is, the sizes she wanted...were too big for me and I didn't have any! I told her how to make some, and suggested where to get the fabric. Now she's mad. Obviously not a friend. And no, you're not being selfish. If you told her up front that you'd need the clothes back, she should be taking better care of them than that. That's not just rude, that blinkin ungrateful!
2006-10-12 13:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all....... HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?? Was she really "All That" in order for you to NOT see what all really goes on in her life how she's raised her kids? A huge tip off would have been the ex never having to work, and then the second tip off would have been to take a look around. Seeing how they live and how the kids are. For starters, you cannot change people. And I have learned from my own experience, that when you go and start cleaning up, fixing and building for others, it always ends up bad. The house SHOULDN'T have been in that bad of shape to begin with. If they can't or won't clean up behind themselves in the first place... they sure aren't going to stop you, especially if they don't have to pay you. They'll keep you around as long as you'll stay. They won't run you off, even if they're miserable. Really, that isn't love. That should say alot to you when she buys you "used" things and don't bother to find out if your hungry or what you might like. But she sure is picky about her and her kids. That's just wrong. When your ready to get out, you will. But not until then, no matter what anyone tells you.
2016-05-21 21:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are feeling the way you should.
If you had given the clothes...that would be different & her problem...but, she was rude & thoughtless to return clothes that she'd messed up & didn't try to fix. She should have at least said that she was sorry. But for her to not say anything,was rude.
if it were her clothing, she'd be upset....but since it's not, it seems as though she don't care.....This seems to be how it is sometimes....because of times like this, for myself....I wont loan out my stuff...cause it ither comes back broken OR don't come back at all.
So, I understand you. I'd ask her for your stuff back, or to either replace the clothes or pay to have them cleaned.
Hun, don't loan her anything else....make her buy her own stuff.
2006-10-12 13:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm. i would just tell her to keep them. im not made of money either but if i were in your situation i would tell her to keep them. either way if you get them back they will still be ruined. so let her keep the now 'ugly' clothes and when your next baby comes along you can get even better clothes. heck, check out the goodwills and thrift stores. they always have lots in there and some are really nice and almost new, and not as much money. good luck.
2006-10-12 13:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by astroheather84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you that unless you told her that you wanted the clothes back,it's to late. Most people give their maternity clothes away. The other way of thinking about it is that the clothes would be out of style by the time you need them again and you could loose weight and they would be to big for you. And know that you will be blessed for your gift of clothes.
2006-10-12 13:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she knew the clothes were just on loan then it's rude. however, it would also be rude of you to take back your loan. this is a touchy subject and ultimately is a choice of whether the clothes or the friendly neighbor relationship is more important.
2006-10-12 13:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by deruhbotch 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses. You paid a price, and that price was to find out how trustworthy your neighbor was with your clothes. Now you know better. So much for trying to be nice, huh?
2006-10-12 13:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think your friend should pay (if it can be re moved)for your cleaning of the cloth or if thats your REAL friend then you should just drop it and keep being friens -_-
2006-10-12 13:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by Im not telling you my REAL name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she can keep the stuff she ruined but you want the rest back now.
2006-10-12 13:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by My Evil Twin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think your mad for loaning her clothes long term knowing that you want them back again..........just learn by your mistakes and tell her keep them!!!
2006-10-12 13:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by diane c 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋