My fiance and I are are planning our wedding for May of 2008. We have a simi-tight budget and we are considering having a cash bar at our reception to cut some of the cost. We are planning a nice meal and we do not want to pay for other people to get drunk at our recption. The place we are holding the reception recommends we use a cash bar as opposed to on open bar. We are getting mixed reactions to this when we talk with people, so I was curious to see what others thought.
2006-10-12 12:58:08 · 28 answers · asked by Kelly S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That is tacky! If you can't afford a bar, don't have a bar! Simple as that!
2006-10-12 13:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by mrs.dennis.10.6.07 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
A cash bar is OK...if you get too much heat about it you might have a 1 free keg (it shouldn't be to much $$) and a cash bar for those that don't drink beer...or you could make an arrangement with to have a cash bar but make the prices cheap by agreeing to pay the reception hall some extra money...there are lots of ways you can do this... also giving people 2 free drink tickets then the have to pay after that... The main thing is to get the guests loosened up not shite-faced drunk.
2006-10-13 10:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand that you are on a "semi-tight" budget, so try to find some cost savings elsewhere instead of going for a cash bar. They are tacky, especially when guests are bring gifts and/or cash to you to come to the wedding - they don't want to pay an additional chunk of money just to be able to have a good time and toast you! For example, who really looks forward to the small gifts on the table? Half of the time they are left on the table at the end of the night - a great way to save a few dollars per guest if you simply cut them out. Also, why have a florist make big bouquets for each bridesmaid and you when you can simply purchase beautiful stems from wholesale floral shops (or even the supermarket) and have each person hold one stem that is wrapped in ribbon? It looks beautiful and can save you $40-60 (or more) per bouquet. Another cost saver would be to have a small wedding cake that people see and sheet cakes in the back. You'll save a ton and guest will never know the difference.
Good luck!
2006-10-12 22:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. It is totally rude to have a cash bar at any private event. If you cannot afford alcohol, or it is not your typical custom to serve it, simply do not serve it! That is better manners than having a cash bar.
Many couples, instead of providing a full bar, offer their guests a beer and wine bar due to lower cost. Another idea is to serve a lightly alcoholic punch, like sangria, or champagne punch, so you're offering a little something form the alcohol category, and it's festive without being as expensive as a full bar.
Never set up any situation where a guest has to pay for ANYTHING being offered at your wedding. You wouldn't ask them to pay to "upgrade" the meal you're serving (from hamburger to filet mignon)-- do not set up something where they pay to "upgrade" their beverages (from soft drinks to mixed cocktails).
Guests, by definition, do not pay for anything at a private social event. Not drinks, not coat check, not tips, not parking. That is ALL the responsiblity of the host. Big wedding budget or small, THE MANNERS ARE THE SAME. The host does not provide or offer what the host cannot afford.
I don't care if all you can afford for your reception is fancy cupcakes and lemonade on your front porch-- the roles are the same-- the HOST offers hospitality to the guests, and the GUESTS graciously accept the hospitality being offered, even if modest.
There is no shame in having more modest refreshments at your wedding reception. There is great shame in farming out your hosting costs to your guests. I would sooner get married in street clothes than have a RUDE cash bar.
2006-10-13 18:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally feel if you should do what you want and what you can afford. I, however, believe that asking your guests to pay for their drinks at a wedding reception is no different than asking them to pay for them in your own home.
If you can't afford it, then serve wine, beer and mixers. Suggest people BYOB, I never mind doing that if I am warned ahead of time.
If you do have an open bar, you can do what my daughter and son in law did, and have several hours as an open bar, then for the last two hours (or one hour) have it be a cash bar. Your DJ can make the announcement.
2006-10-12 22:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. But I've been reading lots of wedding books and magazines lately (getting ideas for my wedding and the wedding I'll be standing up in next year) and they all suggest a limited bar as an option. Pick a couple of beers, a couple of wines and one or two signature drinks that you and your fiance really like or think will be popular. And if you have waiters pass around the drinks, it will limit the amount that people will consume!
Congratulations and good luck!
2006-10-12 23:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by glowbowlingdiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Etiquette is simply common sense - so- consider this:
Would you invite a guest to your home, offer then a drink and then hand them a bill? Of course not, so, why should hosting a wedding party be any different? A good host never asks their guest to pay for anything. If you want to serve alcoholic beverages and your budget is limited then try serving an open bar just for the cocktail hour or serve only beer and wine to the tables at dinner. There are many ways you can stick to a budget and still be a gracious host.
2006-10-12 20:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My fiance and I are getting married May 2007. The place we're getting married at provides us with a caterer. He gave us a few options as what we could do with the bar. We decided to do open beer & wine and a cash bar for the liqour. Our wedding count will be around 100 & he's done so many weddings that he can actually estimate what the cost is. He said that the beer & wine estimate will be around $700 based on 100 people. They charge you based on comsumption, so whatever isn't used we don't pay for! good luck!
2006-10-12 20:42:19 · answer #8 · answered by Briana 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would avoid a cash bar and do a limited bar instead. My suggestion would be to serve wine and beer and champaign for the toast, but to have these drinks passed around or at the tables and avoid a bar altogether. This way, you can avoid a cash bar that might offend people (especially those who dont bring money) and yet still stick to a budget.
2006-10-12 20:08:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar. If I were a guest at a wedding with a cash bar I would think it is cheap to say the least.
2006-10-13 11:39:16 · answer #10 · answered by Adoptive Father 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am also planning a wedding on a limited budget. I also plan to have a cash bar. It is my opinoin that I would rather spend the money on things that will last such as pictures and honey moon than for people to get drunk. If you fear people talking about how tacky you are as some have suggested they will those would be people I would eliminate from the guest list because who wants such judgemental people to ruin their big day
2006-10-12 21:34:29 · answer #11 · answered by Christin 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋