I was 52 when I moved from Europe to the US to be with the man I love .
All of my children have their own Family lifes .
Only 1 staid in toutch .
The other 3 think I abandoned them.
It's very hard on me .
After a very abusive life of more then 36 years , I filled for a divorce and now live with the most wonderful man.
He's American and I became American 6 months ago .
Sometimes I think I did the wrong thing , and should have staid .
2006-10-12 12:16:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know and feel for you cause it has to be hard on you having your children turn away from you, but you deserve happiness and you stuck around to raise your children even while you yourself were being abused. I applaud you because you must be a very strong woman. Enjoy your own life and for your sake I hope your children realize how lucky they are to have a mother such as you. Keep smiling.
2006-10-12 15:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did your job when you raised them into adults. You did right in what you did. Staying in a bad marriage does not help the kids. I have heard many people say they stay in a bad marriage for their kids but the truth is, you are NOT doing them any favors! They are adults, so they need to come to grips with you moving on to a better life. There really is no blame here for anyone. I know this is heart breaking, I'm going through the same thing with my kids but I told them that I didn't pick and choose their life and they can't pick and choose for me; it's "my" life. Just be happy with what you do have now and pray for them. They will either come around or not. I told my son that no matter how they may feel about me or what I have done, I will always love THEM no matter what! You did NOT do anything wrong especially if you are happy and with a good man! Keep your head up. Hopefully your kids will come around. Just keep the love in your heart for them BUT live your life! I have put you in my prayers.
2006-10-12 20:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by GardenGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a long time.
I had a stretch of time when I didn't communicate with my kids. Even though they were all of age they felt abondendoned.
I felt I had to get away to put some distance between me and the divorice. My kids could'nt understand that. There is no way they will ever understand that.
Please don't feel guilty. You are an individual & you had to do what you had to do to surrive. They will never understand that you had to save yourself and that they were old enough to be on their own. I think adult kids have problems with their family break up because they are part of mom & dad;
They need to understand that it is better to be from a broken home than to live in a broken home.
Get rid of the guilt and then realize that your kids will never understand. If they are communicating with you now....go with that and make things the best you can make them.
I still want to prove myself to a couple of my kids, but I know that would emotionally damage them. So , I have to be quiet about some things that are not fair nor will they ever be fair.
2006-10-12 19:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time in our lives that we have to do what is right for us. This time came for you after your children were grown and after you had enough of being abused. Give your children some time and perhaps they will come around. Invite them to visit you and you husband and then they will see how happy the both of you are. I wish you only happiness.
2006-10-12 19:25:17 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its easy to second guess ourselves all the time. You did what you felt was right at the time you did it. Getting away from an abusive relationship is never a bad idea. Your children need to understand that.
2006-10-12 19:19:55 · answer #5 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children always love their fathers no matter how bad he is. It is not like he was a wonderful husband and you cheated on him. Your children are adults and should understand that. Don't live your life to please others. Do what is right. It is still ok for it to hurt though
Justin
http://www.thechristianviewpoint.com/
2006-10-12 19:24:42 · answer #6 · answered by thechristianviewpoint 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations fellow American! You sound like you have your head on straight. If that is the way your kids feel, so be it. Enjoy what you have now with the man that you love.
2006-10-12 19:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by steve-o 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now u took the step
so stick to it
u have no choice
2006-10-12 19:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by rav 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't abandon your children if they were all grown up. they should be happy for you to take such a big risk to be happy.
2006-10-12 19:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course ur children cumz first sweety ok ....so yez u shoud ve stayed
2006-10-12 19:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by beautiful 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋