I have really fallen for another man.Have huge guilt about hurting first guy,but equally huge attraction for M. Am in turmoil.Do I stay out of guilt,or should I follow my heart and see where it leads? Haven't cheated,unless dreams count! Anyone who's lived thru' this before,pls help.?Will I always regret it,if I ignore my heart?
2006-10-12 11:02:06 · 18 answers · asked by BellaDonna 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to step back and take a long hard look at the situation.Get to know the interlopers faults as well as his high points.Then weigh your options.Do what is best for you and you alone.The second guy knew what he was getting in to.The first guy deserves to be cut lose if you don't love him.It is a tough spot to be in especially when your blindsided by it.I wish you luck.If both of these men truly care for you,one will have to love you enough to let you go. Just remember forbidden fruit is always sweeter.Make sure of what you want before you take a bite.
2006-10-13 11:46:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a few factors to determine this. One being how much time, effort, and energy have you invested in the first relationship? Another being, if you were so committed to the first relationship, how did you really fall for another man? In a lot of these cases, it's because there's things missing in the relationship and or the person isn't fulfilling what you require. You never stay because of guilt, you stay because you really are committed to the person. If you stay because of guilt, you will be miserable and end up being a cheater. You really need to sit down and clear your mind and evaluate each scenario and determine which one is the best choice for you. Also, if you leave this one for the other, will you find some other man to really fall for? You need to have a mental list of what the ideal man for you is to avoid man hopping. I hope that didn't come off as judgmental because it's not. Just giving you insight on how your life will be/seem without true, honest reflection and thought.
2006-10-12 18:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by eehco 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that if you have feelings for someone else... you maybe committed to the relationship, because you didn't cheat. You are not committed within your heart and that's the most important thing. If you stay with the first guy, because you don't want to hurt his feelings and your heart heart isn't there.. both of you will suffer even more down the road, but you also need to think about if the second guy is worth it. You don't want to loose a good man over a crush when he may turn out to be an *** to you.
2006-10-12 18:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by Marla C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, what kind of relationship is your current relationship. Is it committed or are you free to see other people. Is this a physical attraction or have you been spending time with this other person and have grown to like him. If so you need to find out why you are spending time with that person the way you are and figure out what this person has that your current boyfriend does not have. Are you committed enough to cheat? Usually when someone cheats, the other person is not satisfying in a certain way in which you need to communicate to your boyfriend. Remember, you always see people tempting when you have someone but when you do not someone that is when you can never find someone to be with. Good Luck!
2006-10-12 18:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by Still_21_nheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it kind of depends how old you are and exactly how committed and serious the relationship is. If you're young, then it's worth spending some time apart and exploring your other options. But if you're older and you're in an actual real relationship, give the guy a chance. Your crush will probably pass but your relationship with your boyfriend could potentially last forever if you make it work. I think everyone is tempted now and then by other "crushes" but the sincerity of your relationship will determine whether or not you act on it. Good luck.
2006-10-12 18:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was with a guy who I loved but had grown tired of the relationship and had begun to have feelings for someone else. i left my boyfriend for the new guy. Even at the very beginning I always thought about my now ex boyfriend but I didnt know how to admit my mistake. The new guy eventually cheated on me and I left him. Its been 5 years and I think about the first guy, Jason, every single day and its the one decision in my life I regret. Whatever you do make sure you think it out and think about all of the consequences of your decision.
2006-10-12 18:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by arae8419 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't doing the guy you are with any favors by staying with him out of pity. Do him a favor and hurt his feelings in the most respectful considerate way possible. Its gonna hurt him sooner or later anyway, and the way women usually do it trying to be nice can be quite cruel. Don't lead him on. Don't drag it out. You don't need to neccesarily tell him that you are dumping him for another guy, but you do need to make it clear that you don't feel for him like you used to and that you need to move on. Do it as soon as possible. The longer you take to do it, the more it will hurt when you do.
2006-10-12 18:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by Chris D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go where your heart tells you. Until you're married you can feel free to look around. It's better to break it off than to stay with him when you really like someone else more. He deserves to find a person who really wants to be with him. Not be a second choice.
Justin
http://www.thechristianviewpoint.com/
2006-10-12 18:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by thechristianviewpoint 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is, exactly how committed are you to this first relationship? If you're engaged or something like that, I'd definitely wait it out for awhile and see if your fervor doesn't die down.
True love is built, momentary crushes pass. Remember that.
2006-10-12 18:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by Skop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess you don't really care for the first guy.
So you should break up that so-called relationship first and then do whatever the heck you want.
2006-10-12 18:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋