Recently I met a lady with a two year old son. She lives about 5 hours away, and is searching for the right person. She came to visit me last Friday, and left Saturday afternoon because I told her that one of us would have to move eventually, because the child has gone through enough and long distance relationships are very difficult. So by telling her that, she told me she didn't want to move, and neither do I. So my question is, for her sake, should I break this before things get too serious? We met about a month ago, so it isn't like we have been dating for years, but I don't want hurt her or her son, and the pain that long distance brings is not good. I apologize for the question being vague.
2006-10-12 11:00:56 · 18 answers · asked by Light Bringer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't have sex with her, or anything like that. We technically aren't dating, we saw each other once. So, nothing too serious has happened, I am wondering if I should even mess with this situation, one she and I don't want to move, and second it is long distance. Thought that I should clear that up
2006-10-12 11:27:24 · update #1
If you can honestly see no future in the relationship, I don't think it's fair for anyone to remain involved. It's simply going to lead to hurt feelings.
But, if you do like this woman, there's no saying that things won't change. Right now you are in the very beginning stages of a relationship, and of course no one wants to make that commitment to uproot their life. It could lead to something beautiful and live changing.
I doubt that really helps too much...the best thing for you to do is to be honest with yourself. What do you feel and what do you ultimately want? Take her feelings and those of her son out of the equation for a moment and figure out what's best for you. There's no sense in you hanging on for the sake of others if it isn't going to make you happy.
2006-10-12 11:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you have only been dating for about a month you should not have even met her son. He shouldn't even know about you or any man until it is serious. She should know better. Even at a young age kids know whats going on.
Second if you have already discovered that moving is out of the question for the both of you then will it ever be serious? I mean if you already know that she is not worth moving for then why let yourself become involved?
I think that you are looking for approval from someone that its ok you don't continue to see her. Honestly don't get your heart broken you sound like a decent guy that wants to be happy.
Go and find happiness! Closer to home.
2006-10-12 18:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by ebsharer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question to you is do you have any feelings for her? Personally for me, a month is not enough time to get to know each other to warrant such a move. Since she is not moving and you both don't want to be in a long distance relationship, that leaves it up to you. You don't want to move... so that pretty much answers your question.
If you have strong feelings for her, keep on dating for a few more months... but work out the schedule first on who is visiting who. Long distance relationship is very taxing but you can make it work. How are you both dating now? Do you meet somewhere in between or is she the one who travels to you? My friend dated accross states and then got married.
Good luck!
2006-10-12 18:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by Nebby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sad, brother... I assume you had sex with her and now you want to move out...You were saying that you do not like her son to be hurt ...now you should have thought of that before you took advantage of her.. satisfying yourself but not with the intention to committ yourself on the long run...this is sad brother... see, I believe you do not love her .If you do, then distance should not be a factor to break a relationship. Love knows no bound....you see, if this lady still loves you , then that is what really counts. It is better to wed her and settle than to risk looking for another who might not love you and then it is you whose turn to feel the pain of rejection...you know, the bible says to do unto others what you would like others to do unto you... I do not believe you would like a woman to dump you when you have given your heart...This problem on distances can be resolved.. you both talk about it . It may not be easy because of jobs or homes but true love will solve these problems at the end... how about you pray for it... God alone and not the internet users can solve your problem to the best... Pray about it for there is nothing impossible to God....May God Bless you
2006-10-12 18:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by srjione 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Don't Want Things To Get Worst. Just Break Up With Her. But If You REALLY Like Her Try Talking To Her. If She Really Likes You She Will Understand!
2006-10-12 18:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by .. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea for you to just pack up and leave. I think you should keep dating her. It's a good idea to stay with her for a week or have her stay with you so you know what it will be like. You don't want to just rush into something and find out it's not what you expected and then all these problems occur or you feel like you can't leave the situation. Don't ruin your life. Then again she could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't be afraid to take chances.
2006-10-12 18:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by Destiny Jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you... you two seem to like each other, but I think you've already answered your question. Neither one of you want to move, so that's the end. Break it off now, so you minimize the hurt. Maybe you can still be friends, then there's no pressure.
2006-10-12 18:07:23 · answer #7 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If no one is willing to move, the relationship is going to be hard, depending on how strongly you feel about each other. But if you guys have only been going out for a month, maybe it's best to break it off.
2006-10-12 18:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just agree to be friends. Maybe e mail her over the holidays or call her and say Happy Birthday, but tell her now you think the long distance relatioship will not work.
2006-10-12 18:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you're trying to rush things on a bit? Neither of you can possibly know after a month whether you're 'right' for each other. Back off a bit and let things take their natural course.
2006-10-12 18:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by Ahwell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋