My five year old thinks he's king of the house, help?!?

Question

He is so sweet.. don't get me wrong. I think I may have taught him overconfidence. I had very little confidence growing up. So I made sure he had lots, yet he acts like he owns us all and we should jump at his every command. I have never spoiled him like that. He treats the little girl we babysit like she's only a play mate when he needs one but lower than dirt when he's finished playing with her. We don't treat her like that. My husband is more than a gentleman to me and any females in our lives. It's so frustrating. We are already implementing discipline, but it would help me to find out why he is doing this. If anyone has any ideas outside of spanking time outs and loss of privledges please feel free to add them. Thank you very much in advance.

Answer 1

Good for you for not using time outs, spankings, or taking away privileges! These are punishments! They are not a way to discipline a child. Children need to be disciplined! Have there been any changes at home (new baby, family issues, more, new school)? If so, give him a lot of extra love and support. It could be that he has probably been feeling pretty powerless since you started babysitting. He was the center of your world and now has to share you with another child. He is finding power and gaining attention when he commands you or treats the other child like dirt. He probably gets some attention for these behaviors. Even though the attention may be negative, it is still attention. Find some ways to help him to feel powerful when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You did that by yourself! You used so many colors on that picture! You ran super fast!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show your attention, and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

I know you love your son and want him to be happy many parents make the mistake of wanting their child to “like” them. If this sounds like you, it will be difficult for your son to learn to respect you as a parent. When children do not respect their parents, the parents have no control of them and the child feels they do not have a "safety net" (strong parents who can set and stick by a limit provide a safety net). Children scream for limits! It sound like your son is screaming for a limit.

Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when a child misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if they throw it or are destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. When he is rude to the child in your care, rush to the child and say things like “Ouch! That must have hurt! You must be feeling upset about that!” Ignore your son. He will not like the feeling of being left out. I would also have that child express to him how they are feeling when he acts rude. It is a very powerful message coming from another child.

Instead of using time outs when he is misbehaving, get down to his level and say “I do not like when (explain what and why), take him gently to a place away from you (his room, the couch) and say “When you are ready to (stop, listen, be nice, calm down, gentle…) then you can come back.” Let the discipline fit the crime. This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself.

Take a little time each day to show him how much you love him. Do an art project, read him a story, have him help you make a snack or prepare dinner. He will feel proud of himself for doing these things with you.

Empathize with him when he is calm. Say things like “You must have felt really (mad, angry, frustrated, hurt, upset.). What can we do about that?” Give him some ideas about what to do instead of trying to control you. He should learn to better express his feelings.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Pick your battles! Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

We have been through several such phases with our eight year old. When you see him doing so, you must act right then, get in his face and get serious. Make him understand that his behavior makes you feel very bad, even if the behavior is not directed at you. I suspect, even if you don't feel like it, he has gotten some sort of message during his rearing that this behavior is acceptable/desired. Is he watching television? That is the primary source of learned bad behavior.

Offer him incentive rather than punishment. If he can go through the day without behaving in a way that makes you feel bad, he gets a reward at the end of the day, like half an hour of television or something sweet to eat. Don't give in if he has misbehaved in such a way. If it is very bad and he is unable to comport himself in a way that is socially acceptable, you might try half a day at a time. Best to get this dealt with before he hits school age and is a problem student.

Answer 3

it is a part of the age but just don't let him get away with it. It is not something he will grow out of if you ignore it. I have my friends 5 year old for a few days. Yesterday she told me when her lunch was ready then I can bring it to her. I told her I don't think so and that she has two good legs so come and get it herself. 5 year olds still believe life revolves around them. It is all about teaching them it does not. My two are 7 now and still try it occasionally. The behaviour i would be more worried about is the way he treats his friend when he is "finished with her". I would be making a point of then playing with the friend and ignoring your son , just explain you don't play with mean children. When he starts to play nicely then let him join in. The moment he is mean again explain you don't want him playing with you anymore as you don't play with mean kids. Don't let him play for 5 min. (probably the longest in your life) then join in. If he does it again then out for 7 min. Leave him out longer and longer. He will soon learn. Soon he will be at school and do you really want him to be the boy that sends kids home crying with his behaviour at them

Answer 4

People - People!!!
Seeing these type of questions worries beyond all reason. Why is the "Tail Wagging The Dog" in your life - simple, the dog let it happen.
In all my 30 years as a teacher, nanny & nursery caregiver - one thing always proves to be true: When you have a child of any age seemingly in control it is because they are challenging you to take it back! They are not educated, equipped or experienced enough for the position they have been allowed to assume. They are THE CHILD in need of direction, structure and discipline. They need parents not friends! Be your childs parent - you set the boundries of your home and their place in it. Any discipline for offenses needs to ALWAYS be consistant. It is too overwhelming for the child to parent you! Please take back your intended position in the parent~child relationship. I have seen too many young lives damaged by this very same senario.
The world is a most mixed up mess as it is, be the point of clarification in the life of your own child.

Answer 5

Out of the two canines which you have chosen i could p.c. to get your son the Corgi. The Corgi is provided to be extra stable and compact in comparison to the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. although the Spaniel will in all probability be extra dainty and enormously to your companion, for a toddler the extra stable equipped Corgi could be extra effective. The corgi can preserve a youngster extra effective, on an identical time as in the experience that your son steps on the Spaniel incorrect or drops her to intense up she ought to get injury. whether, please do verify your toddler knows the comfortable nature of maximum small canines. you ought to additionally contemplate getting him a Tibetan terrier. I met a corgi as quickly as. It lived in a house with a 2 and an 8 365 days old. whether, submit to in concepts that no rely how learn the corgi is provided he nonetheless is companies to being injured if not dealt with by using a youngster precise. fiddling with super canines and fiddling with small canines is an fullyyt diverse adventure for a toddler. Please verify he knows that he must be comfortable with the doggy, and not so tough with him as he develops right into a canines.

Answer 6

He is trying to see what he can get away with (testing you), and this is the only way he knows how. It seems like he is the king of the house. If you ignore this behavior, and talk to him about it....it will stop. Keep up with the discipline, don't let him get away with this, because it will get much worse.

Answer 7

Don't let him be like that, please. In first grade, every day after school, I had to go to this boy's house, Michael. He treated me the same way; playmate when he needed one, dirt when he was done. He annoyed the crap out of me.

Answer 8

ignore bad behavior and a little time out never hurts

Answer 9

treat him the same way if he won't be nice then he doesn't get to join in on the fun

Answer 10

i've went threw this before... dont talk to him, don't do anything he says... untill he straightens up or call NANNY 911. LOLZZZ.