ive been with my boyfriend for 6 years we talked about getting married and haveing a family hes always worked hard and been a good man to me but recently he has lost his job and now im pregnant with a little girl and recieveing help from the state now hes been getting lazy and not wanting to get a job and help and ive had to quit my job because of cronic hyper tension caused by the pregnancy he knows i cant get mad or hyper becauce it effects the babys heart but for some reasion he wants me to do more and lately hes been picking arguements which he knows i cannot get upset then to top it off i just found out that my baby might have downs syndrome i dont have any were to go and i dont want to leave him because where would i go i honnestly have noone and he knows it but if i stay here something terrible might happen to me or the baby what would you do :(
2006-10-12 10:26:28 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
go to your nearest church and ask for help!!!!!
Or womens refuge..... men like to think they have the power over women... they don't!! there are womens aid refuges out there! Find one! And as for the downs syndrome??? if your baby is healthy and alive... no mother could ask for more than that! And downs children are the most loyal and loving ever!
Good luck and god bless!
2006-10-12 10:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by greenbloomers 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would leave from that place because if I ever felt that I was putting me or my child in danger than I would have to find a way out of there because if I was having that thye of feeling than that could mean that something bad really could happen and that I need to move fast before I regret something. You might try to scrape up some money for a hotel, try applying for section 8 because they help out with living situation. I f you have a church family then you might want to go there also for some type of advice because 90 percent of the time they have a solution to your promblem. And if all else fails then you want to get on your hands and knees and start praying for some guidence to show you the way.
2006-10-12 10:34:38 · answer #2 · answered by ghain39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two really should have a sit down talk with this problem. He really needs to realize that he will be a father and be a head of the house hold to support you and a baby you two are having! Having a baby is not a easy job and I can't believe he will let you go through stressful time!!! He have to grow up! Raising child cost lots of money. Government help will not be enough if you want your child to grow up with things she needs. He is not injured or disable to work. (there are many disable people out there that works like we all do!) So he really need to wake up! If he still continues to give you a hard time, you should consider separate with him. You and your baby deserves better! Good luck! I hope everything will work out for you!
2006-10-12 10:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower222 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if it were me i would go over to one of my girlfriends house and just relax u dont need all this presure on u your going to have a baby. I'm not telling u that it's right to leave your baby without a dad. But if its what you want and you think its right your child will understand.And about a place to live mmmm you could ask one of your friends if you could stay there till u find a place of your own. If you explaine your reson your friends wont mind. That is if there true friends.Sorry if my advice isnt the best but it works trust me you dont want to carry all the waight around 4 the rest of your life do u?u will be misrable trust me its not funn and u wont have anytime to spend with ur kid u need a man who would help u and somone who u can relie on when u need help
2006-10-12 10:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles and bambam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact yourlocal social services provider, and call the local House of Ruth in your area. They can give you advice on what to do and possibly locate a shelter for you to go to until you can find more permanent housing for you and your baby. Right now, your boyfriend should be the least of your concerns. You and your growing baby are the most important. Do whatever you need to do to protect your child.
Also check with your church, or go to a local church to see if they offer support groups for unmarried moms. You might be surprised at just how much help you can get when you have faith.
2006-10-12 10:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by Meesh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the first thing you should do is communicate with him. You don't want to leave him and find nowhere to go with your child which is very young. Let him know exactly how you feel and that he is putting your and the baby's life in danger. Tell him you consider he gets a job, and for what purposes. I am sure he will understand where your are coming from. This is not only about you, it is about the three of you. Hear his response, hear how he feels. tell him to try to understand you, and try to understand his case also. Find other ways to resolve your issues instead of arguing and hurting the baby.
2006-10-12 10:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by nedjine05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a strong possibility that because of his job loss and his inability to support you he has become severely depressed and depression can take many forms. His tendency at the moment is to lash out at those he loves. The loss of a job is one of many life changing experience, top with that with the news that the two of you will be parenting a handicapped child may have pushed him over the edge. Be understanding and loving towards him, but try to talk him into seeking counseling. If he refuses - you talk to a counselor and ask them how to handle the situation. Depression can be treated with medication. Also the fear of raising a handicapped child may be playing a big part in his apparent depression - ask your doctor for literature that he can read and meet with parents of handicapped children for their input. God bless and good luck.
2006-10-12 10:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by mzmscheeveeuhs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to marry you so pull yourself up by the bootstraps and lay out a plan for you and your baby. There are places you can call for help. Start with your local village township office. They will have a resource book for all your needs. Remember your not alone. I have a niece with down syndrome and she is a wonderful girl to be around. She is now 23. Good Luck
2006-10-12 10:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by tigerlilliebuick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have no one but i'm sure there are places you can go. If you are getting help from the state check with them and see what options you may have. You don't need to be with any man that will treat you like that when your pregnant. I can tell you right now my little girl just turned 8 months and me and my boyfriends relationship changed dramatically. We fight a lot more than we used to and he doesn't really help me out financially either but I still manage to make it work. Maybe he'll change when he see's what you two have created. Mine may not help me financially but he is the best dad.
2006-10-12 10:29:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tara A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's not contributing or supporting you both $$ and emotionally then leave! If you don't have family or friends to support you reach out to other groups-- there is sure to be someone in your area to help church, community groups or even public health dept usually can help you find support to help you through this time. Trust me you are not the first or only women to find herself in this position - you must do something to help relieve the stress of the situation for both you and the health of your baby. Get help and don't be a victim!!
2006-10-12 10:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by tessie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone to stay with even a shelter and tell him when he is ready to be a man you might talk to him if It is not to late.If he loved you he would be taking care of you and that baby!! There is a lot of help out there for woman if you really want it.The state will help with school, rent,food and jobs just ask for some help.
2006-10-12 10:38:34 · answer #11 · answered by tennesseemom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋