I dated a guy for about 2 yrs and was physically abused for about 18 months. Its been about 6 mo now since we broke up. I haven't seen him in 4 mo becuase he moved to his Dad's house in AL (long story). After we broke up we still talked on the phone like usual and had sex til he moved. Its been 4 months since I last spoke to him, I finally said **** it and over 2 days I had 326 missed calls from him. That was the last time he tried to contact me. I went thru a time when I hated him and didn't even want to think of him existing. But recently he has been the only thing on my mind. It's true some of the time I went through hell with him, but other days were best experiences of my life. I want to call him and just see what he's up to, if his transition went smoothly. What should I do? Can abusive guys change for the better? Im not trying to get back with him, just be friends unless he seriously changes. I know he still thinks about me cuz his AIM password is still my name+anniversary date.
2006-10-12 10:16:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nope. Unless you just want a good beating.
2006-10-12 10:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by denverbroncos1973 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I am going to try and be nice since I know you've had a hard time, but just let me say one thing....Are you out of your mind!??!?
326 missed calls??! I don't know how things are where you're from, but where I live, that's considered psychotic stalking behavior.
You were only with this guy for 2 years, but he abused your for 18 months of it? That's 75% of the time (give or take, I suck at math). I would say that I don't see how there was time to squeeze in any good times with all the abuse going on.
Do yourself a favor. DON'T stay friends with this guy, and please DON'T even consider getting back with him. You deserve better and don't need to be in an abusive relationship.
Good luck.
2006-10-12 17:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you're asking here: "Should I contact an abusive ex?"
Yes... if you're INSANE!!!! Why on earth would you want to? He hurt you. Stay away, stay far away. You probably just miss him because he was in your life for such a long time, and now not having him there feels weird. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off of him...go out with friends, take up a hobby, anything!! Whenever you start to think about missing him, think about when he hurt you. The guy is scum... less than scum even. Find yourself someone who will respect you like you deserve.
2006-10-12 17:25:31 · answer #3 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they don't change ever.. and you shouldn't go back to him or see him .. I was in a relationship for 5 years and when I got out I missed him so much an for a little bit I talked to him and still had sex but its been like 8 months now and I couldn't be happier I glad its over and it was hard but guys like that they just want to hurt you but they don't want you to be with anyone else cause then you will see they are better guys out there.. and they really are and its hard but girl just give up on him soon .. you will be better off in the long run .. trust me.. it does get better and still think about what hes up to whats going on in hes life but I cant call him or anything cause I know I would be right back there in hell and I want more then that in my life .. well good luck
2006-10-12 17:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by nobodysangel2469 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all good for you for leaving this punk wussy boy. Sure it is possible that he could change but why give him the chance. He is a low down piece of garbage. Sure you had some good times and some times he beat on you. Here is a crazy thought, you deserve better, find a man that you will have good times with and during the bad times he will not beat on you. The only reason you should contact your sorry ex is to trick him into meeting you in the swamp so you can tie him to a stump, cover him in honey and leave him for nature to take care of.
2006-10-12 17:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by Got2seeit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND????!!!! No, abusers do not change - ever. If you contact him you will end up back with him because you have this attraction for him. And it will start all over again. What if you have a child? Are you willing to put that child at risk? Because even if he would never ever harm the child, he will find a way to use your love for your child against you to keep you in line. You want to call someone? Call a counselor and find out why in the name of all that's holy you still want anything at all to do with the jerk!
2006-10-12 17:25:55 · answer #6 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship. You said he's abusive........enough said. Just because he uses your name in the password to his AIM account dosen't mean he uses the AIM account. And how does signing into his account benefit you anyway? I would say you are probably lonely and would be better off signing up for Match.com or posting a personal ad on Craigslist....I think you need to get laid and forget about the abusive guy.
2006-10-12 17:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by JEMER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has really controlled you too long.you are now brain washed.You want to be around him.Not to put you down but even a dog wont go around someone who beats on them.He dont love you at all.He was in a power game.Why you going into his AIM account? Abusive guys can change sometimes but the fact he is living with his father shows he can not take care of his self and probaly has not changed and never will.Think hard,when you want to call him think of how that punch in your face,arm or head felt.Think of all the times he said he loved you just to turn around and kick the chit out of you.You may not think so but you deserve better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and I will tell you I know what Im talking about,I was with a abusive man for 13 years.I kept giving him that chance to change.Just never did.When he tried to run me over with his car and failed then threw me in his car and drove me to the lake to try to drown me I left.
2006-10-12 17:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL NOOOO!!!!!
Don't call him. Don't answer his calls. Don't IM him. Don't Screw him.
Forget the passwords and him. You're better off. If he called you 326 Damn times over 2 days, he still has issues. Stay away from AL.
2006-10-12 17:22:36 · answer #9 · answered by koko3845 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should I contact my ABUSIVE ex? Are you really that crazy? I've heard guys say that some women like to be abused, and it's always pissed me off, but maybe you are the kind of woman they are talking about. The abuser is gone, why make contact?! Where the hell is your self esteem?
2006-10-12 17:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should stay away! Have some self respect. He was abusive to you in the past! What makes you think he won't be again in the future? He will! You have the opportunity now to move on with your life and to find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Take that opportunity please! For yourself!
2006-10-12 17:22:17 · answer #11 · answered by His Dudeness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋