My husband and I have been seperated for 3 months. We have a four year old daughter together and he pays child support. He makes alot more money than I do,and I am struggling financially. He wants to work things out but he doesn't think my financial dificulty is his problem. What do you think?
2006-10-12 10:14:14 · 28 answers · asked by nina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I will be more specific. He and I decided that I wuould stay home with our daughter while he worked. At his request he handled all of the money and bank accounts were in his name. He had a new vehicle for work, but did not think it was necessary for me to have a vehicle. He then left my daughter and I on the day the rent was due. He claimed he was not sure he wanted to be married. Now I am getting on my feet but still struggle. He claims he wants to help and says I should just ask. So when I needed help and I ask He gets irate claiming I am not his responsibility. Where do I go from here?
2006-10-12 10:32:47 · update #1
It is not his problem, and no you should not expect him to support you financially if you two are separated. He is expected to pay child support though, for your child. NOT YOU! You should find a way to work through your finances and learn to be independent. Maybe that is the lesson learned in this separation.
2006-10-12 10:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband should support the child, but, if you are working then you should support yourself.
Sometimes, when we file for divorce, we do not realize that we will not be able to live to the standards we are accustomed to. Struggling financially is one of the burdens that women go thru after filing for divorce. You have to budget your finances. Do not live beyond your means.
If you do not want to get back with your husband, do not let him know that you are struggling. He can use that to try and get you to stop the divorce.
My answer is no, it is not his responsibility to help you financially, but he should provide for the child.
*** To being more specific. Doesn't matter. If you filed for a divorce, he is not obligated to support you. If you go to court and tell a judge that he is paying you child support, but you want him to give you money too because you can not support yourself on what you are bringing in from your job PLUS his child support, the judge may give the little girl to him, simply because you are not financially able. No matter what, you need to show that you can support yourself. Don't ask him to take care of you. If he gets mad at you (you said he wants to work things out but you don't) he could use that against you later.
Good luck and be strong! You will survive without him.
2006-10-12 10:21:41 · answer #2 · answered by emotional blonde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should help you out. If he really cares about you then he would help you out, while your trying to work things out. That would show he stilled cared and is responsible still for your well being and not just provide child support. It depends on how you decided on the seperation. I feel if he cared, he would help you. BUt each individual is different and you need to talk about it. Good Luck
2006-10-12 10:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he stopped you from working while you were together, he can't be held responsible for your financial troubles. He's paying child support, which, in my opinion is his only real financial responsibility that involves you. Hopefully the two of you will be able to work things out.
2006-10-12 10:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by lelecw14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good that he's paying child support, but be able to take care of yourself. Even if he is making more money than you are, find away to be independent and stand on your own. If the two of you resolve your issues and get back together, always keep yourself in a position that if you needed to take care of yourself, you could.
2006-10-12 10:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, if you were not working during the marriage, however no..unless you have kids then he is obligated to pay for child suppoort.
Seriously think about that, if you can make it and you working and doing the damn thing it really a keep tactic. Let him go....you will appriciate your self more.
But dont forget, if really have taken care of him home and the kids then yes most definately yes.
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY good luck
2006-10-12 10:19:10 · answer #6 · answered by CeKaye L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is right, you probably were the one to kick him out. I'm sure he is willing to pay child support, but that does not give you a free ride. If you try that these days the judge will not give you custody. Go out and get a part time job, anything. Get your butt in gear.
2006-10-12 10:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's right. The two of you are seperated, therefore you two are not working as a team. As long as he is taking care of the child support checks, he owes you nothing more. Your income is only up to you and you cannot depend on someone who you're not even with to take care of you.
2006-10-12 10:16:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is paying child support.I really dont like when a woman gets alamony.It shows that woman are not able to take care of theirself.It`s time for you to get a higher paying job.Wish you all the luck.
2006-10-12 10:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get to an attorney ASAP and get something set up. And he is partially correct, the financial difficulties you are having are not his concern any longer his main concern should be the welfare of his child but if he is any kind of man and father he will take into consideration the problems you are experiencing. Let me reiterate, get thee to an attorney....
2006-10-12 10:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋