How long of an engagement is too long?

Question

Right now my fiance and I are looking at having a 21 month engagement, do you think this is too long?

Answer 1

That's how long I will be engaged. Got engaged early January of this year and I'm getting married in late Sept. of next year.

Here are the pros and cons as far as I have seen:

PROS:
1. You have plenty of time to book everything. You have more options for picking out a reception site (which makes it easier to budget places as well - you are not stuck with any place that might be too expensive or too small or too far away, etc).
2. You have plenty of time to find a dress.
3. Lots of time to choose wedding parties and allow them to save up money for the attire that they need to purchase.
4. YOU have lots of time to save money for the wedding. It all adds up quite quickly. Just the dress alone can be quite expensive.
5. Plenty of time to enjoy engagement :) I am loving it! It's tough, it's frustrating at times, but it's fun being engaged. After all, it's the only time in your life you will not be single, but you won't be married either :o)
6. Lots of time to plan out living arrangements. For example, my fiance and I both own our own homes. A long engagement has given us time to plan out the sale of one home, moving into another and start looking for our own home to buy together. A short engagement would not have allowed for all of that.

So now the Cons:
1. Waiting... and waiting... and waiting. It can get annoying. But now that we hit the "less than a year to go" mark, I know it's going to fly by!
2. Too much time to change your mind about details. You pick one centerpiece, then you change your mind. The wedding colors will be red & white... then you change your mind. It can get old after a while.
3. You'll get tired of hearing people say "Oh, it'll be here before you know it!"... when really, it's still a year away.

Other than that... I think a 21 month engagement works out beautifully :o)

Congratulations!

Answer 2

Ive been engaged so long and so many times with the same guy its an embarrassment! I guess the longer you are engaged the longer you may have to change your mind, grow apart or put it off (thats the down fall). Or I noticed when people ask whens the wedding and you say 2 years from now people immediately think its never going to happen. But 21 months is fine just make sure you start planning throughout the 21 months so the engagement and your upcoming wedding is fresh in everyone's mind for the whole 21 months. I bet your excited! Congratulations!

Answer 3

I totally agree with Violet Pearl. My husband and I were engaged for 8 months, it was too long. We didn't have a choice, we couldn't move into our house till then. We knew we wanted to get married way before we were engaged, we wanted to be finished school, so he proposed when he got back from his last year of college. You don't need much time to plan a wedding if you just get to it, we had lots of free time in 8 months, the only things that need to be booked early are the DJ or band, the church, hall, that's about it.

Answer 4

Too long. You should be married in about a year after the engagement. There is no point to a longer engagement. You are either going to get married or you aren't. I personally think 9 months is plenty of time to be engaged. Good luck, it is inevitably up to you.

Answer 5

If you really love him, then there is no "too long." For example: my fiance and i have been engaged for 2 years, but we're trying to get through college and save up enough money, so all in all it could be a 4 or 5 year engagement. if you're really in love with him, and he with you, then you can just bask in the glory of your love for each other, without feeling pressure to get married right away.

Answer 6

there is no such thing as a too long engagement; ppl have sometimes.. 2 or 3 year engagements! it just depends on the time you need to reserve places, get the rings, the clothes, the invitations, all that. talk to your fiance and see what he thinks; if you wanna move it up, go for 15 months. i think that's a good time, but for me, i'd be so excited i'd go for 9-12.. hehe.. but it's your wedding!

and congratulations!

Answer 7

Not if you both agreed to that and there is a reason behind it. Like maybe coming up with the funds, maybe you are both working a lot and planning a wedding is going to take that long. Those are all good reasons along with many others. It's only bad if you can tell the other person is trying to push it off for other reasons. My cousin has been unoficially engaged for almost 5 yrs now. They haven't even gotten the ring yet. They are waiting for them both to finish college and to get their own house. He doesn't want to propose to her while they are still living in a the room above the garage in his mom's house. They are both over 25 but are working in their B.A. and getting good jobs. I think they are taking it slow and going about it a good way. What works for one person doesn't work for another. So if you are both happy then it's fine. What you need to worry about is if the date keeps getting pushed back. Otherwise it will be just fine. Good luck and congratz.

Answer 8

I've been engaged for 2 years and a month and I'm starting to get ancy for the wedding because it's not even planned at all yet. I think our engagement is too long!!! I do have the dress though and we're starting to think about having it next year!

Answer 9

I don't think it's too long at all, especially if you have some concrete reasons for setting the wedding date that far into the future. (school, family, legal issues, etc.)

Think of engagement as the next step in your relationship. You have already done the "exclusive dating" part and now you are declaring to the world that you seriously intend to marry this person. Marriage is the next step.

Answer 10

The typical wedding takes at least one year to plan so you're not all that far off. I have been engaged for 3 years now - with no date planned yet! Be engaged as long as you need or want to be.