I have this friend that i have known for about a year now, and he has been there for me when i needed him the most. he is a year younger than me and i am in love with him. but my only problem is that i am about to have a baby in about 3 months and i could never ask him to be with me....and my baby. i know he has feelings for me, but i just think he deserves better. i want to be with him, but there is a little bit of me that says just leave him alone and let him find someone. anyone have any advice?
2006-10-12 08:40:52 · 13 answers · asked by abbythebappy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it's admirable that you don't want to tie him down, but I think you need to tell him.
You said that he's been there through the worst times. If he's done that, I think he's made a silent commitment to there with you regardless.
It bothers me that you think he deserves better than you or that you need to make the decision for him not to tie him down.
Have you ever read the book Where The Heart Is? It's about a 17-year-old girl who is dumped out in a strange town hundreds of miles away from her home by a loser boyfriend, and she's VERY pregnant. She goes on to forge some interesting relationships with some very intersting characters.
One of the characters is a man named Forney. The two of them become best friends, and it becomes obvious that he's in love with her, and later she falls for him. However, since she's an uneducated girl with a small child, she decides he's too good for her, so she does something to "let him find someone else." Thing is, though, he doesn't want someone else, he wants her. And he loves her daughter as much as he would love his own child.
You shouldn't decide that, since you're pregnant (or later, since you have a child), you deserve less than anyone else. You aren't suddenly worth a man of lower standards based on that fact.
The guy cares for you (you say you know he has feelings for you, and the fact that he's still around during the first 6 months of your pregnancy.) It's not as if he's unaware of the "baggage" you carry. It would be one thing if you met a guy who didn't know about your child, and you got into a relationship, then kind of sprung a shocking suprise on him. This guy knows what he's getting into by having feelings for you, and it doesn't look like he cares.
And he deserves the right to choose how much he wants to be tied down to on his own.
2006-10-12 08:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is grown up enough to go through everything with you and be with you and the baby then I think you should go for it. They say friends make better companions. Talk to him about it. Don't jump into it, take one day at a time. Just because you think he deserves better doesn't mean he thinks the same..why would you think he deserves better? You say you know he has feelings for you..talk about them with each other. Good Luck with him and the Baby!!!
2006-10-12 08:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world could you be 6 months pregnant with one man's child.....and where is he, by the way?....and say you're in love with another man you've known for a year??
You're right, he does deserve better! And so does this child you're about to birth!!
I really hope this is a joke question and you're not seriously living this way!
2006-10-12 08:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop selling yourself short! You deserve the best. If he loves you, he cant any better! Dont assume that he doenst want to be with you and your baby because you decide that he deserves better.
2006-10-12 08:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by dancindiva807 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself and your baby, which means going to court RIGHT AWAY to get CHILD SUPPORT lined up from the baby's father. Everything else is secondary now and can wait for later!
2006-10-12 08:45:59 · answer #5 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should you decide that "he deserves better"? Obviously if you have been together for somewhile and you both have allowed the relationship to prgress to the point of conception...and the fun stuff involved with it...then just maybe he wants to be with you. Be there for him, just as he has been there for you. In any event, you will always be the mother of your child...and he will always be the father.
2006-10-12 08:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-10-12 08:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you feel you have to be asking *him* to be with you? If he knows your situation, and truly wants to be with you, he will let you know. That he hasn't "stepped up to the plate" is telling me he is not interested in making a committment to you... and you asking him would be asking for rejection. You can't decide for him if he "deserves better"... but it sounds like he has decided for himself. You might have to be on your own for a while, until you find a guy who is truly interested in you, and wants to commit to a relationship.
2006-10-12 08:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well Age should not make a difference, so what makes U think Ur not GOOD ENOUGH for him??? Ahh, He must not be the actual father???
If U 2 like and truely care enough 4 each other, WHY NOT try??
2006-10-12 08:42:29 · answer #9 · answered by ***BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!*** 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you asked him how he feels about being with you and your baby? He might be totally into that, and the two (three) of you could have a wonderful life together.
Maybe you should be talking to him about this, not us
2006-10-12 08:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by lowflyer1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋