I've been seeing this guy I'm really into we haven't had sex yet and I'm wondering how long should I wait before we do. He is not my boyfriend. It's so tempting but I promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
So should i wait until we are in a relationship?
If so how long should I wait after we get into one?
My last reltionship was awful he was abusive so I really want to take things slow, but I don't want to be a tease or a prude.
2006-10-12 08:29:16 · 16 answers · asked by jessi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not freakin' 15 like most of u!
I'm 23 I just haven't dated in so long its totally new to me.
2006-10-12 08:59:06 · update #1
Absolutely wait until you are in a relationship!
And even then, at least give it a matter of months. Take things as slowly as possible. That worked well for me.
You definitely don't want a repeat of your last relationship, but it can take a while for abusive tendencies or any other negative qualities to emerge, especially if you don't have enough experience to easily spot them, so it's essential that you take your time. If he ends up thinking you're a tease or a prude, then guess what? He was only after one thing anyway and you're better off without him.
2006-10-12 08:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by James L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are dating casually then most guys have a 3 date rule. If you don't put out by the third date they will drop you.
So... if you are beyond that.. then either this guy is LOOKING for a relationship or just doesnt' know how to close the deal.
i would suggest doing a lot of casual dating and not get back into a relatinoship right away.. that may mean sleeping (or not sleeping) with a few guys on a casual basis.
It really depends on where you two are going.. if its just casual.. then have it whenever you feel like you want it.. and don't be afraid to initate it!!!! if its a "relationship" then.. well usually guys like to be the ones that start that sooooooo you may be waiting a while...
2006-10-12 15:33:35 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never limited sex to a time thing. My guess is most guys don't. I think it's important not to over-think it. Every realtionship is different and you shouldn't think that holding out will affect the outcome of this relationship.
I've heard that people with abusive partners end up with other abusive partners because they are attracted to the personality. While this might not be true in your case, you should be aware of this and make sure he's not like that.
What I'm trying to say is, a "proper time" for having sex and how your relationship will turn out and the guy going abusive has no direct correlation to each other.
2006-10-12 15:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by MisterO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not a tease or a prude just cause you want to take it slow.. that is your right as a women you can have sex when you want to not when a guy tells you to .. and don't let him talk you into anything you do want to do ... and I also think you should be in a relationship before you have sex and at least a month or so after you are in a relationship.. be careful and don t get talked in to anything before you are ready ... good luck
2006-10-12 15:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by nobodysangel2469 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not in a relationship, why do you want to have sex with him? After coming out of an abusive relationship myself, I made the mistake of trying to find someone right away and wound up going thru bf after bf..all of them turned out to be assholes......then I waited a while and met the man that I have spent the last 7 years with...happily...
2006-10-12 15:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by sweet75482 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're NOT being a "tease or a prude." You have to feel the time is right and that you really TRUST the person. Take care of YOURSELF and don't take emotional chances just to satisfy someone else's "needs"!
2006-10-12 15:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow. Sex will only entangle your life more. THough its great, feels good and awesome pleasure, there are reasons that God made it for marriage. Outside of marriage, it will only cause problems, jealousy, envy, strife, lust.....why? because SEX was not meant to be shared outside of marriage.
Take a look inside your own heart. YOU know what I am saying.
How is your back?
2006-10-12 15:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by JudoMan77 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to ask yourself that. I made my man wait almost 2 months and we are now going on almost 4 years.
2006-10-12 15:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by AnnaG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you're thinking about it, so I have to assume he is too.
It should become more clear as time goes by. You can't set a timeline for something like that. Just don't rush it.
2006-10-12 15:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by lowflyer1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Justy do it when it feels right. What are you? 15? Everyone knows that you just wait until you can handle the physical and emotional aspects of it.
2006-10-12 15:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋