my bf is just not supporting me and when i tell him about being stressed at work. he just starts saying things well what about me, and flips it around. how do i turn things around into a more positive supportive relationship?
2006-10-12 08:12:28 · 11 answers · asked by jess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
stress can cause all kinds of problems, health and emotional... but there are ways to deal with it... try sitting down with him, and each make a list, written or verbal, of the worst stresses you are under.... hear each other out !!! really listen to each other... use a permission to speak deal, have something, like a towell in hand, the person who has the towell can talk... set a time limit, use a timer !! do this 3x's a week or so, what ever it takes to get it out... then try doing stress relief together, jogging, walking, tapes, hot showers, etc..... we use mood music in my house, such as a disc with nothing but the sound of ocean waves and a candle that smells just like the ocean... it works wonders to settle the nerves and relax....... read up on relax techneques and how to fight fair.... God bless
2006-10-12 08:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With any relationship it is a give and take type of thing. I do not know based on your question if your wanting him to be more supported of you or even if you have been supportive but it is a give and take type of thing here.
If you are supportive and he isn't little you can do because this is something you learn when growing up is how to listen and be loving and understanding. chances are he won't change and in which case he is not worth your time and future headaches. if you not supportive yourself chances are this is why he isn't as well. one of the things you need to know is that it is hard for others to listen if you are not listening yourself. Now I am not saying you are not supportive as you may very well be. just want to cover all aspects. best of luck.
2006-10-12 15:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a relationship is definitely a 2 way street. But, maybe try seeing how his day was first then when he's finished, tell about whats stressing you out. Sounds like he needs you to listen to him also. Maybe he'll listen after telling how he feels. Be supportive of eachother. Hopefully that works
2006-10-12 15:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is men are uninterested in things that aren't for the best of their interests. If you tell him that somethings wrong that isn't something he caused, he won't be interested. It isn't right, but it's how it is. As for making it a more supportive relationship, listen to his side of the story, give him some advice, and then bring up your problem again. Maybe he'll be more supportive then.
2006-10-12 15:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by Ally S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there I kinda go threw the same thing and on top of that we work at the same place. The best thing I can tell you is talk to your mom or someone else that is close. I know when your in a relationship your spouse is suppose to be there for you no matter what. Have you asked him to listen to you for once and that if he dont start that he might loose you. If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me . I hope I help some
2006-10-12 15:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I understand that you have stress and I will listen to you later if you would like. However, I need to vent right now and feel supported. Can you do that for me?"
If he says no, dump the immature loser already.
2006-10-12 15:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women go on and on and on and on about their problems and they never seem to have an end or a solution. Guys get tired of hearing that noise. Tell your girlfriends about that kind of stuff. Tell him stuff that he can fix or solve. Guys aren't into endless gabbing.
2006-10-12 15:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're both stressed and attacking each other. Perhaps a 3rd un-biased (professional) individual would be beneficial in helping you both calmly and effectively expressing your thoughts and feelings to each other.
(whew, that's one hellava sentence!) ;)
2006-10-12 15:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. HE has to want to behave in a more kind and understanding manner, or you're much better off WITHOUT him!
2006-10-12 15:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's not supporting you now , he never will be
2006-10-12 15:14:31 · answer #10 · answered by chandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋